Anyone been a Best Man before? Suggestions?

in General Discussion edited January 2014
My friend has chosen me to be his Best Man in his June 2003 wedding. Aside from the usual stuff of bearing the ring, giving the speech at the reception, yadda yadda, is there anything I should know about that the wedding web sites or books don't cover? Any other advice?


  • Reply 1 of 12
    jrcjrc Posts: 817member
    I've been best man a coupla times. Don't hog the spotlight. Be very gracious. Don't try to be too funny. Don't oggle the chicks. Try to 'manage' the groom, make sure he's where he needs to be, saying what he needs to say, kissing whom he needs to kiss. Don't get drunk. Get the Bride and groom a very special present, as a token of your appreciation of being selected the Best man.

    Say thanks that someone in the world appreciates you and lets you have an honorable position in such a wonderfully special time in their lives.
  • Reply 2 of 12
    timotimo Posts: 353member
    Oooh, you've got many duties ahead of you. [the following have all been observed or, um, experienced]

    Basically, it boils down to this: you are his right-hand man. He gets nervous, you're there to hang with him. He can't believe he didn't pack black socks, you're on the case. You coordinate things so he doesn't have to think about them. You keep the focus on the magic of the day and not on more mundane trivalities. You help organize other guys to be foot soldiers making sure things go well.

    You are Jeeves to his Wooster.

    Finally, you have one very important duty. At the bachelor party it is your duty to discreetly intercept the numerous well-meaning but stupid shots, like double peppermint schnapps, dished out at four thirty pm ? just when everything's first getting rolling. Because, as we all know, the groom's eventually gonna boot, but the fun can't be over at six pm because of it.

    He's gotta go the distance and you're there to make sure of that. And to make sure when he falls down drunk the cut on his forehead isn't so bad that it will show up in all his wedding pictures.

    Good luck and feel honored.
  • Reply 3 of 12
    buonrottobuonrotto Posts: 6,368member
    Don't leave the marriage license in the inside pocket of your rental tux.
  • Reply 4 of 12
    Errr, actually you're supposed to sleep with the bride-to-be a week or two before the wedding, I think.
  • Reply 5 of 12
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    [quote]Originally posted by Timo:


    You are Jeeves to his Wooster.</strong><hr></blockquote>

    <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
  • Reply 6 of 12
    It's a somewhat hard thing to do depending on the circumstances. Chiefly the traditional toast at the reception. One has to strike a balance between schmaltzy, amusing, and deep while maintaining a G rating and sufficiently satisfying the bride and groom's relatives. no pressure, though.

    As for the bachelor party, it's real easy when you enlist the barkeep's help. Ask for 'the most interesting drink they know'.

    Beyond that, it doesn't call for anything beyond what you presumably do already, which is to be a good friend to the groom.

    Good luck...
  • Reply 7 of 12
    As a wee aside on the subject o' weddings here's a wee TRUE story frae the back o' the Mac wedding album. When I got married we didnae hae much money (no' much has changed) so oor Best Man's Best Friend - who was also an amateur photographer - agreed tae tak' the photos before, during and after the ceremony. He didnae hae a camera so I lent him my OM1 wi' a' its various lenses, filters, flashguns and so on.

    He took dozens o' pictures but nobody saw him again for quite a while thereafter. When the pictures turned up it transpired he'd set the shutter speed too high for the flash and a' we got was loads o' shots o' people's fancy shoes wi' the top half o' every photo entirely black.

    No' only that - he'd been so upset he went tae the pub, got drunk and sold my camera and a' its accessories tae buy mare booze. In such a situation ancient Scottish Law usually demands that the Best Man mak' full restitution in the form o' gold, wenches, estates and treasure, but he was as financially challenged as I was.

    I still cannae see a wedding withoot a tear coming tae my eye.
  • Reply 8 of 12
    buonrottobuonrotto Posts: 6,368member
    I'm so sorry to hear that Sir! I'd take up English Hooligan Law on the photographer if I were the groom, jilted by his photographic prints.

    [ 01-30-2002: Message edited by: BuonRotto ]</p>
  • Reply 9 of 12
    I lost a camera and gained a wife.

    Twa bluidy disasters the same day!
  • Reply 10 of 12
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    Sir Mac, I'm so sorry to hear about your...predicament. Thanks for the story, though. I'll be careful during this wedding -- especially for those rogue photographer friends!

    BTW, I'm honored that you responded to my thread. *tear*
  • Reply 11 of 12
    Nay, nay Mr Nut. It is I who am honoured. Here I am barging intae your thread wi' my tales o' woe and such. Still I do feel qualified tae offer some experiental bestmanly advice - viz: At the first signs o' fisticuffinous intentions betwixt the respective matrimonious clans hide under the table.
  • Reply 12 of 12
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    [quote]Originally posted by Sir Mac o' the Isles:

    <strong>At the first signs o' fisticuffinous intentions betwixt the respective matrimonious clans hide under the table.</strong><hr></blockquote>

    <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />

    I don't see that happening, but thanks for the advice!
Sign In or Register to comment.