Least Common iPad Complaints

in iPhone edited January 2014
From the New Yorker:



by Billy Kimball

APRIL 26, 2010

· Too salty.

· Time-travel app does not automatically adjust for Julian calendar.

· When used as tanning bed, battery life is limited.

· Not rhino-proof.

· Salesperson in Apple Store not wearing ironic ?jazzman? hat.

· Not available in soothing Harvest Gold color.

· Strange odor coming from husband while using iPad.

· For $499, I was expecting a few more sequins.

· No USB port for whatever it is that they do.

· The iBookstore ichthyology section includes almost nothing on lampreys.

· When used as murder weapon, oleophobic coating does not completely eliminate incriminating fingerprints.

· Copying document files requires installation of forty-dollar iCarbonCopy app.

· Virtual cupholder does not actually hold cups.

· Unwilling to buy anything from Apple ever since Steve Jobs killed my parents.

· Insufficient media coverage.

· Original iPad was good enough for Grandpa and it?s good enough for me.

· Upscaling makes porn unexpectedly upsetting.

· After owning a Kindle for three weeks, I have become deeply loyal to the brand.

· The virtual keyboard is too %&@#! hard to use.

· New York Herald Tribune not available online anyway.



  • Reply 1 of 4
    addaboxaddabox Posts: 12,660member
    Those are hilarious. The "upscaled porn" item made me spit coffee.
  • Reply 2 of 4
    dr millmossdr millmoss Posts: 5,403member
    Anybody can play:

    ? Not entirely edible.

    ? Inappropriate for leveling tables, unless one leg is really short.

    ? Can cause injury if used as Frisbee.
  • Reply 3 of 4
    tilttilt Posts: 396member
    The guacamole tastes like Apple
  • Reply 4 of 4
    dr millmossdr millmoss Posts: 5,403member
    Originally Posted by addabox View Post

    Those are hilarious. The "upscaled porn" item made me spit coffee.

    And you weren't even drinking any.
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