Least Common iPad Complaints

Posted:
in iPhone edited January 2014
From the New Yorker:



Quote:

LEAST COMMON COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NEW IPAD

by Billy Kimball

APRIL 26, 2010

· Too salty.



· Time-travel app does not automatically adjust for Julian calendar.



· When used as tanning bed, battery life is limited.



· Not rhino-proof.



· Salesperson in Apple Store not wearing ironic ?jazzman? hat.



· Not available in soothing Harvest Gold color.



· Strange odor coming from husband while using iPad.



· For $499, I was expecting a few more sequins.



· No USB port for whatever it is that they do.



· The iBookstore ichthyology section includes almost nothing on lampreys.



· When used as murder weapon, oleophobic coating does not completely eliminate incriminating fingerprints.



· Copying document files requires installation of forty-dollar iCarbonCopy app.



· Virtual cupholder does not actually hold cups.



· Unwilling to buy anything from Apple ever since Steve Jobs killed my parents.



· Insufficient media coverage.



· Original iPad was good enough for Grandpa and it?s good enough for me.



· Upscaling makes porn unexpectedly upsetting.



· After owning a Kindle for three weeks, I have become deeply loyal to the brand.



· The virtual keyboard is too %&@#! hard to use.



· New York Herald Tribune not available online anyway.



http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2010/0...a_talk_kimball

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 4
    addaboxaddabox Posts: 12,660member
    Those are hilarious. The "upscaled porn" item made me spit coffee.
  • Reply 2 of 4
    dr millmossdr millmoss Posts: 5,403member
    Anybody can play:



    ? Not entirely edible.



    ? Inappropriate for leveling tables, unless one leg is really short.



    ? Can cause injury if used as Frisbee.
  • Reply 3 of 4
    tilttilt Posts: 396member
    The guacamole tastes like Apple
  • Reply 4 of 4
    dr millmossdr millmoss Posts: 5,403member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by addabox View Post


    Those are hilarious. The "upscaled porn" item made me spit coffee.



    And you weren't even drinking any.
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