Confirmed : John Romero hired as OS X kernel programmer chief

in General Discussion edited January 2014
I have a friend whose cousin has an older sister who used to date this guy. Well, that guy was a lorry driver and he had to make special deliveries for a large pizza company. On one of his business trips he had to deliver many pizzas to some company that makes special plastics in Korea. There, he overheard some guys talking about the new iMac and secret future projects of Apple. The guy is a real machead, so he decided to hide behind his pizza boxes and sneak into the building. Inside he saw lots of translucent plastics in all shapes and forms, which are going to form the digital hub when Apple will go online with it. They had G5 processors everywhere, but the guy couldn't confirm it because maybe it were just G4 Apollos in G5 casing. He also didn't have the necessary tools for a spectral analysis with him so he couldn't confirm it. Sorry. But because of the blazing speed of the translucent cases he said he was sure it were G5s with multiple cores with quintuple data ram. He also said that there were graphics cards in there that were real cool. They had 'top secret' stickers everywhere and when he removed the a sticker he found out that they contained the fabled new 'Rampage' chip from Voodoo. You know, they make the 3dfx-chips. Rumors inside the company said that it can do parallax scrolling. Oh my god, that will be really cool when it will be released, as I said before, it seems to be the digital hub and I can't wait to plug in.

But that wasn't the best thing. Inside the plastic plant, there were some Apple employees (the guy said he could tell by the look in their eyes that the guys were working directly under Jobs. And now get this - they had John Romero with them. So the guy snuck up on them, carrying his pizza boxes in front of him. Because he was hidden behind all the pizza, he could listen closely what the Apple employees were talking. It was something about the fact that now design was king as far as kernel development was concerned and that that was the reason why Steve had hired John. John Romero was there to make sure that the cases would fit the kernel and that the out of box experience would make everybody OS X's bitch. They also talked about having a sidekick in the OS and making Aqua 3d. They also said something about an ancient blade but the guy didn't quite understand that. By this time, John Romero had eaten 3 of the pizzas behind which the guy was hiding and so he got scared. He snuck back out and that was it.

What can I say? It's so cool to have John Romero on board. I'm sure this will help winning the OS war. Imagine the Digital Hub, Steve Jobs and John Romero - the new trinity of desktop computing. We will rule, oh my god!

The best thing was that it wasn't all that hard to get in the know. My friend looked rather secretive in the last couple of days and so I started inquiring. It wasn't easy at first and it was obvious that I was onto something big. I told him that maybe we could make a deal and he should tell me what he wanted for telling me the secret. He said that he didn't want to be paid by a friend but that there was a trade he was interested in. I'm always lucky with the friends I have. So I gave him my copy of Soul Calibur and Jet Set Radio (DC) for his copy of Daikatana (PC). I think it's actually a fine trade and I will start playing as soon as I get VPC and Windows installed. Besides that I only had to promise him that I wouldn't tell anybody about the secret rumor. Well, I hope you guys won't tell anybody, I just felt the need to share after I heard all these astonishing news.

Wow. that was a lot of typing, I need to install VPC now...

[ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: amyklai ]</p>


  • Reply 1 of 11
    orb24orb24 Posts: 41member
    trespassing? If this is true maybe you should edit this story a bit. Although it may lend authenticity to the story, we don't really need to know who he works for. Maybe its nothing.

    Assuming this is true, ... amazing! What did he stumble upon? Next time "Q" needs to get "James" a spy watch/ minicam.A tape recorder at least Still thinking about this one. Oh well, Fresh fuel for the fire. <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />

    [ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: orb24 ]</p>
  • Reply 2 of 11
    You want me to edit the truth? I'm not going to edit the truth!
  • Reply 3 of 11
    orb24orb24 Posts: 41member
    I'm sorry man <img src="graemlins/embarrassed.gif" border="0" alt="[Embarrassed]" /> I didn't realise we were talking about journalistic integrity. So listen, why on earth were the graphics cards at the plastic plant anyway? were they assembling the towers or were they manufacturing the cases? Demos? Its strange.
  • Reply 4 of 11
    I don't know either. I just know what I was told and I know it's big. It will be the digital hub!
  • Reply 5 of 11
    groveratgroverat Posts: 10,872member
    John Romero?

  • Reply 6 of 11
    Why do people hate him? He will bring us the visions!
  • Reply 7 of 11
    orb24orb24 Posts: 41member
    easy on the psychedellics. He's not the savior This is all very interesting I know little about Romero besides his gaming associations. I wonder how far off these products might be. This could be huge!!! Exciting and really good news to all new tech hold outs. I'm hoping Apple won't continue screwing things up when it was so obvious what has to be done.
  • Reply 8 of 11
    noahjnoahj Posts: 4,503member
    Haha. Ok, that was funny. Back to a real thread now.
  • Reply 9 of 11
    You want me to edit the truth? I'm not going to edit the truth!

    Those who control the present control the past, those who control the past control the future.
  • Reply 10 of 11
    [quote] John Romero was there to make sure that...the out of box experience would make everybody OS X's bitch. <hr></blockquote>


    Good story, but the details on the hardware were a bit sketchy. That's ok for this type of reconnaissance, though. Keep up the good work!
  • Reply 11 of 11
    "Pay no attention to the man behind the pizza boxes."
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