Urgent Report: Jobs on Jet-run to Cupertino.

junkyard dawgjunkyard dawg
Posted:
in Future Apple Hardware edited January 2014
EDIT: Thanks to Cobra for this report! He's my favorite inside source.



This just in:



Steve Jobs was sighted boarding his personal jet, and flight reports indicate he is returning to Cupertino. Staffers overheard him saying "Those motherfu[kers can try to steal our thunder after I announce THIS!!!".



A source who would like to remain unnamed added that Jobs had originally intended to introduce Powermac G5s at a special event in August, because they will not be ready to ship before October. But the recent news out of Redmond has infuriated Jobs so much that this source believes he will be devoting MWNY to the new Power 5 Macs. According to rumors on Apple's Cupertino campus, the Power 5, ombined with OS X, is said to be a Wintel slayer, turning in benchmarks ranging from 2 to 20 fold faster performance in every mainstream application available for both mac and windows. Our source says that Jobs wanted to run this by Bill Gates before its introduction, with the intent to make a deal so that M$ wouldn't kill the MBU. "Now Jobs is pissed, and he wants to turn the computing industry upside down while declaring war on M$" says our source.



More on this later.



ps: close this thread, bitch!



[ 07-16-2002: Message edited by: Junkyard Dawg ]</p>
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 56
    canadianmacguycanadianmacguy Posts: 47member
    Fake - a friend saw him at Apple yesterday.
  • Reply 2 of 56
    patmcfar8patmcfar8 Posts: 84member
    I like cheese... but it smells funny.
  • Reply 2 of 56
    keyboardf12keyboardf12 Posts: 1,379member
    that's unpossible. we just landed now. the weather in NY is craptacular as usual.



    The whole flight we listed to flashback 80's music like new order and the cure. funny i thought he would be into joan baez &lt;--get it? 3 points if you do.
  • Reply 4 of 56
    junkyard dawgjunkyard dawg Posts: 2,801member
    You called it, dude! I bet nothing gets by you, eh?



    Next time I'm going to tag it, [sarcasm] [/sarcasm]
  • Reply 5 of 56
    clonenodeclonenode Posts: 392member
    Who is the source? "Cobra" from the locked thread lower down in this forum?
  • Reply 6 of 56
    jpfjpf Posts: 167member
    I'm in before this thread is locked! YEAH!
  • Reply 7 of 56
    hmurchisonhmurchison Posts: 12,423member
    Me too. Jobs is coming to Seattle to pick me up!
  • Reply 8 of 56
    codewarriorcodewarrior Posts: 196member
    I heard Apple was buying SGI and KILLING all the products except for Maya. This is why Jobs returned.
  • Reply 8 of 56
    canadianmacguycanadianmacguy Posts: 47member
    [quote]Originally posted by Junkyard Dawg:

    <strong>You called it, dude! I bet nothing gets by you, eh?



    Next time I'm going to tag it, [sarcasm] [/sarcasm]</strong><hr></blockquote>



    You know it, my little friend.
  • Reply 10 of 56
    jpfjpf Posts: 167member
    Oh my Gosh! Say it isn't so!



    Did I get in again! Hurray! Hurray!



    Come on, come all!
  • Reply 11 of 56
    nilkanilka Posts: 14member
    Adaha as we say in Norway. This is the biggest shit I have been wandering around in ever. All this guy want is us to write here. And I wont dissapoint him. You got even my attention even though I believe you are the biggest faker ever.



    But never say never. You NEVER know with apple.

    3 points to the first that laughs....
  • Reply 11 of 56
    keyboardf12keyboardf12 Posts: 1,379member
    N o one got my great joan baez joke? and you call yourselves apple fans.
  • Reply 13 of 56
    willoughbywilloughby Posts: 1,457member
    Just because this thread is going to get closed and its a good reason to up my post count...I'd like to take this time to say......



    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHBHALLBAAAAAAAAAAAAAALHLBHLL LALAHL



    HAHBBAHHHHHHHHHHHHH



    Thank you
  • Reply 14 of 56
    keyboardf12keyboardf12 Posts: 1,379member
    I on the other hand do not like joan baez music...



  • Reply 15 of 56
    jpfjpf Posts: 167member
    ANNOUNCER:

    And his fingers touch the mouse ...

    Here comes the click...

    Its a smashing click...

    The web page reloads...

    The throw....



    And he is SAFE!!!!!!!



    The crowd screams, as he makes another post
  • Reply 16 of 56
    keyboardf12keyboardf12 Posts: 1,379member
    But the unsalted peanuts on the plane were tasty. they are shade grown on the banks of a river in thailand.



    mmmmm thailand-ese chicken and peanut pot stickers. tasty. yep. tasty.



    I sure could go for some kung pao chicken.



    its tasty too.
  • Reply 16 of 56
    patmcfar8patmcfar8 Posts: 84member
    I bet Joan Baez likes cheese...
  • Reply 18 of 56
    keyboardf12keyboardf12 Posts: 1,379member
    I actually make a great kung pao chicken. I offered to make it for steve and the family but he gently reminded me he is a veggie. I then offered to replace the chicken with tofu and he graciously accepted.
  • Reply 19 of 56
    keyboardf12keyboardf12 Posts: 1,379member
    I like cheese too.



    I can't say all cheese though. I have never tried goat cheese. Yak cheese yes. Goat cheese no.
  • Reply 20 of 56
    keyboardf12keyboardf12 Posts: 1,379member
    llama cheese too. Have not tried it. So once again i must say that i do not like all cheese since i have not tried all cheese.
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