*CONFIRMED* Monica Lewinsky had sexual relations with Steve Jobs

macluvmacluv
Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
From MacsRus.com:



Trying once again to climb the ladder of success, Monica Lewinsky has admitted to having sexual relations with Steve Jobs. Lewinsky said she would have preferred "The Woz" but he was "always too busy trimming his beard."



The CIA found out about the affair when they were doing a routine "infringement of civil rights" excercise at Mr. Jobs' Pixar office, which he rarely visits. On this particular occasion, however, they managed to catch this on tape:



Jobs: I read your White House Intern Application. It says that you could remove chrome from a trailer hitch at 500 yards.



Lewinsky: I love animation. What do you do here?



Jobs: Is that Channel number five you're wearing? Perhaps you should take it off.



Lewinsky: No, really. Did you direct Batman? My uncle loves that movie.



Jobs: Hey, do you want to hear how I ripped off Xerox again?



Lewinsky: Aw, that's okay--hey! Is that an iPod in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?



Jobs: Oh babe, I don't want to talk business. I hate Apple, you know that. I'm just in it for the chicks.



Lewinsky: I hear that. Hey, can we take a ride in your jet later? We can join the mile-high club...



Jobs: Not until my pilot's back from Columbia.



Lewinsky: What's in Columbia?



Jobs: Lots and lots of iCandy.



Lewinsky: Hey, do you want to see what I can do with a tennis ball?



Jobs: Sure, baby... but wait until I get my racket out, okay?



A spokesperson for Apple could not be reached for comment.

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 10
    ghost_user_nameghost_user_name Posts: 22,667member
    But Steve Jobs was Jamie and he is gay.



    Somehow I don´t believe that story...Or is there something I don´t get <img src="confused.gif" border="0">
  • Reply 2 of 10
    bodhibodhi Posts: 1,424member
    Dumb.
  • Reply 2 of 10
    macsrgood4umacsrgood4u Posts: 3,007member
    another post from a 10 year old.
  • Reply 4 of 10
    macluvmacluv Posts: 261member
    You guys need some lube.
  • Reply 5 of 10
    t'hain esh kelcht'hain esh kelch Posts: 1,274member
  • Reply 6 of 10
    ghost_user_nameghost_user_name Posts: 22,667member
    This doesn't belong in TI and really isn't funny either. Moving it to GD...
  • Reply 7 of 10
    xypexype Posts: 672member
    [quote]Originally posted by Brad:

    <strong>Moving it to GD...</strong><hr></blockquote>



    Moving it? Sheesh.
  • Reply 8 of 10
    stunnedstunned Posts: 1,096member
    This is the worst joke I've read all month!
  • Reply 9 of 10
    ghost_user_nameghost_user_name Posts: 22,667member
    [quote]Originally posted by xype:

    <strong>Moving it? Sheesh.</strong><hr></blockquote>Well, the last time I closed a not-so-funny thread that was *intended* to be humorous in TI, the poster threw a hissy fit. I'll let the GD mods decide to leave this open or closed. Just as well, folks could simply ignore and let it drop down the list of active threads.
  • Reply 10 of 10
    murbotmurbot Posts: 5,262member
    I was going to leave this and let it slide down the page... but we had a few posts. I deleted those posts after telling the posters I was doing it. (I just love to see a bad thread die a painful death drifting off the first page)



    But alas, UBB sticks the thread up at the top of the bunch after a post deletion, even though it's last response is now hours before the one just beneath it.



    I'm afraid I will have to deploy the Unholy Beatdown Stick.



    *thud*
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