best hospital stories
so i was in the hospital today for an angiogram to get a better look at my AVM. well during prep, the nurses (one male and one female) were getting me ready for the doctor to put in a catheter, which has to be put in the groin area. so...i'm laying there all exposed to the world. well the female nurse starts putting something on my foot to check for blood pressure or something and says, "i'm putting this around c*ck...i'm putting this around you're left foot." good times...
ok, time for you people to share...
ok, time for you people to share...
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i wet my my bed in ether induced state and a nun came in a beat the crap out of me. all the way down the hall to the bathroom she's whacking me.
good times, good times.
even today, to quote owen meaney, "every time i see those penguins i get the shivers"
Coming out of sinus surgery I was singing "Your Momma Can't Dance And Your Daddy Don't Rock And Roll". I heard the nurses whispering to each other like "Is he singing?".
Back in the 80's, after having my wisdom teeth out, I got some painkillers and went back to my job at the mall. At one point I distinctly recall standing in the door to the stockroom watching myself help a customer try on some high heels....and at the same time I was helping a customer try on some high heels while I saw myself looking at me from the door to the stockroom.
At no point did a nurse touch my special places in any significantly memorable manner.
Too bad.
But when someone say hospital the first thing that comes into mind is this history/urban legend:
It takes place in a south african hospital a couple of years ago. One of the departments with the more serious patients (one where everybody was on life support) experienced something strange. While the death rate there was rather high due to the state of the patients especially one room was badly hit. Almost every day a patient in the room died during the night.
The hospital started an investigation into the problem. They checked if it could the doctors or nurses (but they were on rotation in the whole department), they checked the room for infections (found nothing), they checked everything but came out with nothing. And still the mortality rate was unusually high.
It became even worse when it was discovered that the patients who died was in the same bed in the room. They checked around that bed but still zero luck.
Then they posted a nurse near the bed 24/7 to see if anything strange happened. Nothing unusually happened: Relatives came to see the patients, hospital porters came to take patients away and bring them back aso. nothing strange. But at one point a cleaner came to vacuum the room. She started in the other part of it and worked up to the bad. When she came to that she unplugged a cord fom the outlead and plugged in the vacuum cleaner, used it for a couple of minutes, unplugged it and put in the original core and went out again.
What she had done was to unplug the life support machine. When she started the vaccum cleaner she couldn´t hear that the patient had any problems and when she was finished the person was dead.
Originally posted by superkarate monkeydeathcar
even today, to quote owen meaney, "every time i see those penguins i get the shivers"
great book, good times indeed...
don't have any funny hospital stories, although when I was getting my wisdom teeth pulled I got CO2, that was fun
Originally posted by _ alliance _
"i'm putting this around c*ck...i'm putting this around you're left foot."
I'm
Originally posted by Defiant
I'm
haha, ok...even though it ruins the flow.
i was being prepped, so i was laying there naked. co*k=penis...so she obviously had something else on her mind other than what she was putting around my foot.
Nice.
Originally posted by bunge
After an accident in Italy I woke up in the hospital with the surgeon fixing my head while smoking a cigarette.
Nice.
**** this damn bastard
heh
Originally posted by _ alliance _
haha, ok...even though it ruins the flow.
i was being prepped, so i was laying there naked. co*k=penis...so she obviously had something else on her mind other than what she was putting around my foot.
Or maybe the guy who offed himself in the bathroom when he got some bad news?
All before I started working here.
Today, if it happened again I'd be fine with it if the doc wasn't in the room!
It involves surgery, which also involved hammering; it involves the slicing of tendons and the drilling of bone. It involves me waking up in an elevator with no painkillers shortly afterwards. It involves some poor nurse looking down at me and realizing what was going on and immediately saying "You're going to be okay! You're going to be okay!" It involves the doctor never "managing" my pain after that. It involves weird pustules later developing at the site of the injury. It involves the doctor saying "Oh! That's normal! Quit complaining!"
It involves a staff infection and nearly losing my leg.
It involves me being on crutches for 6 months. It involves me being unable to stand properly without excruciating pain for the same amount of time.
It involves me staying in the hospital for weeks. It involves $18,000 in hospital bills for what should have been a minor thing.
Cheers
Scott
Originally posted by ColanderOfDeath
Not really a story but when I had my appendix out they kept saying I need to go pee after the surgery to flush out any evil fluids in my intestines. But I didn't have to pee since I had only had IV fluids and nothing to drink in the previous 24 hours. Kept trying but no whizz was to be had but they were not having any of that. So of course they stuck a catheter in Willie the One Eyed Wonder Weasel to try to drain the main membrane involuntarily. But of course I didn't have hardly any urine anyway just as I said. And so they said, "Oh I guess you really didn't need to pee." Yeah that's ****ing right, too bad you had to stick a tube in my johnson anyway. So that sucked.
were they nuns? if so they did it for fun......f*cking penquins......