Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the Iraqi Minister of Information to work for Apple
al-Sahaf's first speach as Apple's new spokesperson:
From http://www.arstechnica.com/
Quote:
"Do not believe the lies of the PC infidels. The PC chips have not reached 3GHz. It is Apple that is at 3GHz. Our initial assessment is that the PC is still at 250MHz, and we will slaughter Microsoft in the server market and in the home. Our market share is at 90%."
We are in control. The PC users are in a state of hysteria. They do not even have control over themselves! Do not believe them! Losers, they think that by building fabs and plants and chips and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards."
"NO! We have retaken the education market! The infidels attacked the education market but we have killed them all with bullets and shoes. There are NO PCs there. I will take you there to the public schools and show you. IN ONE HOUR!"
"Do not believe the lies of the PC infidels. The PC chips have not reached 3GHz. It is Apple that is at 3GHz. Our initial assessment is that the PC is still at 250MHz, and we will slaughter Microsoft in the server market and in the home. Our market share is at 90%."
We are in control. The PC users are in a state of hysteria. They do not even have control over themselves! Do not believe them! Losers, they think that by building fabs and plants and chips and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards."
"NO! We have retaken the education market! The infidels attacked the education market but we have killed them all with bullets and shoes. There are NO PCs there. I will take you there to the public schools and show you. IN ONE HOUR!"
From http://www.arstechnica.com/
Comments
PC losers are wild donkeys and deserve only to be hit with shoes.
Apple seems to be a joke for Ars, i expect that some freaking PPC 970 will kick their ass soon
"The PC chips have not reached 3GHz. It is Apple that is at 3GHz."
"There is no presence of American infidels in the city of Baghdad," he declared to journalists on the roof of the Palestine Hotel as gunfire echoed across the city and tanks fired from the banks of the Tigris just a few hundred yards away."
"We are inflicting heavy loses on them and hundreds of their soldiers have begun to kill themselves."
Facts, much like a moustache, just seem to get in the way.
http://www.anorak.co.uk/news_162643.shtml
...and hundreds of their soldiers have begun to kill themselves.
Not all lies then.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0...934314,00.html
but to be fair I think Rummy said that they had captured him, right before the media showed him giving that speech at the Palistine Hotel, that made some people upset.
Wayyyy to much proprganda in war.
Originally posted by Da Reverand Cutler
I think we know this is a JOKE...
Really, well you know us Brits, absolutely no sense of humour!
While we're on Rumsfeld, I liked this one: "Reconstruction, what reconstruction?"
Originally posted by Alpha Mac
Not all lies then.
ooohh, way too close to the bone...
...true though!
The simple truth is that I was nowhere near Marylebone High Street on the day in question - I have many witnesses to that effect - and I will die before I pay this blasphemous charge for a car which is not even in Britain, which is in any case exempt, as it is powered by salt water. I invented it. One day we will all drive them, except George W Bush, who will be dead.
Originally posted by Clive
This is a flat out lie, al-Sahaf is writing a regular column for the Guardian, not working for Apple:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0...934314,00.html
I think my favorite one (and the one that is closest to true) is "I speak better English than this villain Bush." And another good one: "they are nowhere near the airport ..they are lost in the desert...they can not read a compass...they are retarded."