First draft of my portfolio print package. Need help on catching errors

in General Discussion edited January 2014
Hey guys

I am working on my print package which contains some of my previous CG related works. My works, resume, and introduction are all in one single package.

I am making a print packge cause it's a lot easier for me to correct errors than a tape. And the jobs I am looking for don't tie to "real" animation anyway.....tape is just unnecessary

Go to this link to download the PDF version of the first draft of my print package

Gotta mention that there are some weird artifacts on some pages. I still have to figure out that.....

Anyway....take a look at it and help me to pick up some grammar errors......of course if you have time

Thanks a bunch


  • Reply 1 of 9
    torifiletorifile Posts: 4,024member
    Most of it looks great. There were a couple typos that I noticed:

    Watch your usage of "works" versus "work". This may be an American english thing, but I would use "work" to talk about all my works of art. Does that make sense. Something like "I hope you like my work." refers to the collection of pieces I've done.

    In the education section: it should be 1998, [space] 2000. Spaces always follow commas.

    Overall resume: use bullets and hanging indents instead of just dashes. It looks more professional. (And you may want to use a different font - times doesn't go with the overall feel of the portfolio. Of course, you're the designer, so you know better than I.)

    I'd also rework the career profile a little. I'm not sure exactly what I'd do to it but there's something stilted with the way it comes out. It seems as though you're trying to avoid using the first person, but I don't know how to do that without coming across sort of robotic. I'll think about it some more.
  • Reply 2 of 9
    torifiletorifile Posts: 4,024member
    Forgot to add: put dates with your work experience and for any extended periods of time without work, be ready to answer questions. Sorry.

    Also, try to avoid hyphenating across line breaks. I know that you don't want too much space at the end of lines, but the hyphenation thing is distracting. Mess around with fonts and font sizes to get it looking right.

    And on your "thank you" page: Instead of "resume is on the next page" say "My resume is on the following pages" or something like that. And instead of "thank you for your time reviewing my works." say, "Thank you for taking the time to review my work." (or something like that). You've already taken an informal tone on that page (which is fine) so it should be ok.
  • Reply 3 of 9
    leonisleonis Posts: 3,427member

    I just made a "Rev B" based on yours and other people's comments.....

    It should now look a bit better but still need some works

    Same link
  • Reply 4 of 9
    jcjc Posts: 342member
    Great idea. I would not of thought to post my resume here for critique, Thank you I will do so when i market myself anew.

    My experience and coments will be with the art in your portfollio. A common mistake people make is showing too much. your portfollio is only as strong as your weakess peace, I am thinking you could drop 'untitled' since it is the only one without a title it does not seem to belong to the rest of the set. At almost every interview i go to, afterwords I ask them which peace in my portfollio they like the least and take note of it.

    I do not know how large a body of work you have but you never want to show all of your best artworks at in one showing. Especially if you have simular works of art in the portfollio. because if you show them everything before they even meet you then you have nothing left to show them when they do. This is important. when they see your printed portfollio and you have new work in it they asume that you have hundreads of works of art.

    Also you need to think about the order and placement:

    on the first page you have a red and a blue picture

    on the second a blue and a red

    on the third a blue and a blue


    When ever possible you want visual unity.

    put the reds together or make sure that they are in the same order such as the red is always on the top and the blue is on the bottom. Also if the pictures are the same size or close their placement should line up with the other pages where possible.

    Think about editing your work down a bit. I know it is a painful process but knowing what not to show is the mark of a true pro. I would ask people whom you respect which two pieces of work they would remove from the set.

    Listen to what they say and make up your own mind. You are the artist and the final say is yours.

    Your work is good and i like the way you have the titles on the side. Do you have experience talking about your work? what for example would you say about 'Sunset' or 'Waterfall' if asked at an interview?

    Please let us know if you get the job

    and Good luck
  • Reply 5 of 9
    jesperasjesperas Posts: 524member
    A few first impressions and comments, starting with the introduction and working forward. For editing style, I'm assuming light gramatical and consistency edits (not developmental editing--let us know if you'd like something more in-depth), and that the serial comma will not be used. I'll only be commenting on the text, and will leave the presentation and art commentary to others.

    Note: I'm editing from an American usage convention, and some of my comments may not apply to Canadian usage. I'll just try to call out inconsistencies and cite rules, and will leave it to you to sort out which should apply.


    My previous work experience makes me very flexible to different types of works and I do believe that I will be a great asset to your company.

    A comma is needed between "works" and "and" as independent clauses need to be joined with both a comma and a conjunction.

    I would replace "different types of works" with something like "different types of projects," as "work" is used earlier same sentence, in the phrase "work experience."

    An alternate change would be to delete the word "work" from "work experience," as "experience" can stand on its own without the adjective.



    This is spelled without the accent in the US.

    On page 10, it is spelled without the accent in the sentence, "My resume is on the following pages."


    Pleasetake a moment to review my portfolio, I think you will enjoy it.

    A space is needed between "Please" and "take."

    This sentence is a comma splice. To correct, replace the comma with a period. (Alternately, a semicolon could be used, but a period would be better for emphasis.)

    More later...
  • Reply 6 of 9
    jesperasjesperas Posts: 524member
    Jumping to Resume:

    Career Profile section: Use only one space after periods. Lower case "Print" and "Motion Graphics," as these are not proper names. Delete the last comma in "Internet, Print, or Motion Graphics" (no serial comma).

    Education section: Use en-dashes to signify an inclusive range of years, not hyphens (e.g., an en-dash should be used bettween "1997-1998"). The date for Vancouver Film School needs a space after the comma: "1997-1998,2000". Delete the period after the last bulleted item in Vancouver Film School entry. Lower case "Part-time" in the Vancouver Community College entry.

    Technical Expertise section: "QuarkXpress" should be spelled "QuarkXPress".
  • Reply 7 of 9
    leonisleonis Posts: 3,427member
    Hmm.....a few pics will have to be removed.

    And I need to rearrange the order.....

    As for the writing, I am going to send this thing to an English teacher to fix today

    I will try to keep the whole thing no more than 10 pages......

    You know? In the past I always receive NO comments from people. But this time.....I have over 30 comments (from my friends, AI, other online user group, etc) will take a while for me to digest

    I actually am not too sure if I really have to get my feet into this field. People just keep bugging me to try. But everytime when I think about how people blasted me two years ago I will then hesistate.....
  • Reply 8 of 9
    jcjc Posts: 342member

    Originally posted by Leonis

    I actually am not too sure if I really have to get my feet into this field. People just keep bugging me to try. But everytime when I think about how people blasted me two years ago I will then hesistate.....

    This is a story that is in your head and your head alone. What you need to think about is if you want to get into the field. If you do, then do!

    and even if you do not have what it takes now, it is a simple matter of time till you do, if you refuse to stop trying. Dont do that,,, What is it THAT YOU WANT.. be specific

    I have taught at Otis College of art and Design and I have experience with helping students learn how to present and talk about their work. If you want coaching just ask

  • Reply 9 of 9
    leonisleonis Posts: 3,427member

    Originally posted by JC

    I have taught at Otis College of art and Design and I have experience with helping students learn how to present and talk about their work. If you want coaching just ask

    Sure that would be GRRRRRRREEEEEAT!
Sign In or Register to comment.