#5: Go to a public library and create a thread here to rant about how Apple can never ship anything on time, and threaten to cancel your order and instead get a Dell. Do this for about 5 days, and then slowly fade away as you watch the flame war begin.
I know you already have 10, but heres my $.02 anyway. Sticking with the porn theme. Wipe your iMac HD and fill it up entirely with porn before you ship it to the eBay buyer. See what he thinks about that.
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They Shipped My Dual G5!
Seriously, hunt down the places you'll go war driving and download porn from unsuspecting networks....
Not that I'd condone that.
:-)