Math as Terror: monday funnies
had this forwarded to me today.
thought some here might appreciate the humour.
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At New York's JFK airport today, a man, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule and a calculator.
Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying Weapons of Math Instruction (WMI).
"al-Gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute values. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like, "x", "y" and "z", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country." "As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every angle'" he added.
A member of the Presidential group, who spoke without attribution said,
"These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex. Under the circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "Make no mistake, if God had wanted US to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
In conclusion, Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our leader would say, 'Read My Ellipse'
thought some here might appreciate the humour.
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At New York's JFK airport today, a man, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule and a calculator.
Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying Weapons of Math Instruction (WMI).
"al-Gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute values. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like, "x", "y" and "z", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country." "As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every angle'" he added.
A member of the Presidential group, who spoke without attribution said,
"These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex. Under the circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "Make no mistake, if God had wanted US to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
In conclusion, Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our leader would say, 'Read My Ellipse'
Comments
Originally posted by Anders
Thats what rummy was referring to with his uknown knowns speech
Actually, Rummy's known unknowns and unknown unknowns speech made perfect sense to me. The reason why is that I design software. I know what I don't know and I know that there are things that I don't know about.
Known unknown: How long until the power is on reliably in Bagdhad?
Unknown unknown: What are the odds of Iraqi insurgents obtaining WMD and using them in a terror attack in Turkey?
Failure to admit to the category of unknown unknowns will get you into a heap of trouble.