Nothing to see here. Just getting my mind clear.
Like the news flash on the death of a loved one... this struck me. We need reminders of what our element is, the lifestyle that makes us unique and comfortable. Spending what seems like a lifetime living up to the style that is expected of me, I have looked back into the cesspool of my past. Inside, there is not a two toned off-beat to dance to. Inside, there is not a feeling of loneliness. Inside, there is no light to show my way, so I put my best foot forward into the darkness, Falling into the liquid memories and dirty waste, hearing a faint sound of stability, floating into confidence.
I left it behind, it's a bit moldy, but still fits. The hardened shell of mistrust. The voice that pushed me, into trouble, into adventures, into my element. And the safety net that would never break, blocking me from harm, and coloured dark red. Setting them out to dry on a small island, a small tree casts a shadow covering over the endless pool, which is growing in the center. Soft rock surrounds the island in what seems like an inward spiral... that never ends.
I scaled out of this place once. Thought my life had changed for the better. Watched as my morals took over. Watched as my life spun... into a white clean lab-coat. This lab-coat was cut, tattered, frayed. And now it has cesspool stains on it... finally I am free again. Finally I can consciously destroy the friendships that bother me. Destroy the nasty little image of my old new self... currently bolted to the retinas of my eyes.
I left it behind, it's a bit moldy, but still fits. The hardened shell of mistrust. The voice that pushed me, into trouble, into adventures, into my element. And the safety net that would never break, blocking me from harm, and coloured dark red. Setting them out to dry on a small island, a small tree casts a shadow covering over the endless pool, which is growing in the center. Soft rock surrounds the island in what seems like an inward spiral... that never ends.
I scaled out of this place once. Thought my life had changed for the better. Watched as my morals took over. Watched as my life spun... into a white clean lab-coat. This lab-coat was cut, tattered, frayed. And now it has cesspool stains on it... finally I am free again. Finally I can consciously destroy the friendships that bother me. Destroy the nasty little image of my old new self... currently bolted to the retinas of my eyes.
Comments
in any event, i have been there recently, and it sucks and it keeps sucking. and it sucks when everything everyone says to you leaves you raw....when a look can take you will to move away...
ah well. you are there for yourself...
This was just s stream of thought that I had the urge to write down.
Originally posted by \\/\\/ickes
Like the news flash on the death of a loved one... this struck me. We need reminders of what our element is, the lifestyle that makes us unique and comfortable. Spending what seems like a lifetime living up to the style that is expected of me, I have looked back into the cesspool of my past. Inside, there is not a two toned off-beat to dance to. Inside, there is not a feeling of loneliness. Inside, there is no light to show my way, so I put my best foot forward into the darkness, Falling into the liquid memories and dirty waste, hearing a faint sound of stability, floating into confidence.
I left it behind, it's a bit moldy, but still fits. The hardened shell of mistrust. The voice that pushed me, into trouble, into adventures, into my element. And the safety net that would never break, blocking me from harm, and coloured dark red. Setting them out to dry on a small island, a small tree casts a shadow covering over the endless pool, which is growing in the center. Soft rock surrounds the island in what seems like an inward spiral... that never ends.
I scaled out of this place once. Thought my life had changed for the better. Watched as my morals took over. Watched as my life spun... into a white clean lab-coat. This lab-coat was cut, tattered, frayed. And now it has cesspool stains on it... finally I am free again. Finally I can consciously destroy the friendships that bother me. Destroy the nasty little image of my old new self... currently bolted to the retinas of my eyes.
I just got the urge to write a raw chunk of my thought down... If I just wanted attention, I would go trolling on other boards... however I needed an outlet, so buzz off.
Well I thought it was Ok. I needed something to smile about after reading it.
It's good that there is kind of a topic/thread on AO that has no topic to discuss or argue. Just put something up...a thought, image, poem or anything...
I'm also lurking in fark.com laughing my ass off right now.
Now, because you own, you possess,
You have something that they can take.
You remember how it was when you had nothing,
You looked at the ones that had what you wanted and you felt strong in
your need,
Brave in your limited surroundings, righteous in your desire for
something different.
Contempuous of those who had exactly what you wanted.
You hated them because they looked weak and slightly scared.
An you circled the waterhole and thought about closing in.
Now you have it, you feel weak in your power to keep it.
You feel desparate to make them see, that you won't let them take it
away.
Because it's yours. You never had to justify yourself and possessions
before.
"I earned this. I worked hard for what I got. I paid my dues. I deserve
this."
You say these things to yourself as the animals circle and wait.
Shake your fists at the hyenas. Chase them away from your waterhole.
Justifiy. See them all differently. Now you see that they all want
something.
They want exactly what you got.
Human gets some juice. Human becomes prey. Human gets scared.
You figure out that you have to be hard to keep it yours. You have to be
cruel.
You have to kill them off just for looking. Leave the bodies by the
waterhole so the rest will see.
Hang spent bullet cases from fishing line outside of all the windows of
your house.
Put up signs- 'Please break in. I would love the oppurtunity to kill you
legally."
Let the fear turn into desparate anger. Start seeing the differences in
people.
They all start looking suspecious. They...all...want.
Out there, someone is always needy. Always hungry. Always looking at
you.
Checking your eyes for weekness. Zeroing in on the vein on your neck.
Because they cicle the waterhole, and close in