Thanks for the Mammaries
This just in.
Breast Enlargement Breakthrough
Unemployment looms for plastic surgeons
Japanese brainwashing deprogrammer, Hideto Tomabechi, has developed a ringtone that induces breast enlargement when listened to. The ringtone is the result of research Tomabechi conducted during the 80's and 90's. When asked how the ringtone worked, he explained,
"I use sounds that make the brain and body move unconsciously. It's a technique involving subliminal effects.I suppose you could call it a kind of positive brainwashing. Sound waves travel in patterns that can be properly re-played."
Japanese women have flocked to download the ringtone and are reportedly delighted with the results. "I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped," says Chieri Nakayama, a 19-year-old pin-up model. "But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!" Sales of larger cup size bras in Japan have skyrocketed.
The breast enlargement ringtone is expected to rapidly replace the expensive and often risky surgical techniques currently in use, forcing many plastic surgeons who specialize in breast enlargement to seek alternative employment. Asked how plastic surgeons were reacting to Tomabechi's breakthrough, the President of the International Society of Plastic Surgeons said, "Our members are outraged. No downloadable, digital ringtone can ever replace the caring, hands on approach provided by a surgeon and his knife. We will stand firm in the face of this threat."
In other developments, a French plastic surgeon has chained himself to the gates of the Japanese embassy in Paris, and has begun a hunger strike to protest against the ringtone's availability.
Asked if he had heard the ringtone which is now available as an mp3 file on the internet, the surgeon, who wishes to remain anonymous replied,
"I am never played him on my G5." "I am preferring to be hungered to death", he added, his quavering voice revealing the heavy physical toll the hunger strike was taking as his protest entered it's seventh hour.
The ringtone can be heard here. Male readers are warned that playing the file may result in unwanted side effects.
Breast Enlargement Breakthrough
Unemployment looms for plastic surgeons
Japanese brainwashing deprogrammer, Hideto Tomabechi, has developed a ringtone that induces breast enlargement when listened to. The ringtone is the result of research Tomabechi conducted during the 80's and 90's. When asked how the ringtone worked, he explained,
"I use sounds that make the brain and body move unconsciously. It's a technique involving subliminal effects.I suppose you could call it a kind of positive brainwashing. Sound waves travel in patterns that can be properly re-played."
Japanese women have flocked to download the ringtone and are reportedly delighted with the results. "I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped," says Chieri Nakayama, a 19-year-old pin-up model. "But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!" Sales of larger cup size bras in Japan have skyrocketed.
The breast enlargement ringtone is expected to rapidly replace the expensive and often risky surgical techniques currently in use, forcing many plastic surgeons who specialize in breast enlargement to seek alternative employment. Asked how plastic surgeons were reacting to Tomabechi's breakthrough, the President of the International Society of Plastic Surgeons said, "Our members are outraged. No downloadable, digital ringtone can ever replace the caring, hands on approach provided by a surgeon and his knife. We will stand firm in the face of this threat."
In other developments, a French plastic surgeon has chained himself to the gates of the Japanese embassy in Paris, and has begun a hunger strike to protest against the ringtone's availability.
Asked if he had heard the ringtone which is now available as an mp3 file on the internet, the surgeon, who wishes to remain anonymous replied,
"I am never played him on my G5." "I am preferring to be hungered to death", he added, his quavering voice revealing the heavy physical toll the hunger strike was taking as his protest entered it's seventh hour.
The ringtone can be heard here. Male readers are warned that playing the file may result in unwanted side effects.
Comments
Originally posted by Ra
Who else just emailed that link to their gf/wife?
Who just listened to it, is a male, and is scared out of their wits now?
or, who thinks this is bullshit?
Originally posted by Placebo
or, who thinks this is bullshit?
Ding ding ding!!!
But it's still fucking hilarious.
Originally posted by Ra
Who else just emailed that link to their gf/wife?
oooh, pick me pick me!!! i did, i did!!!!!!
Originally posted by crazychester
This just in.
Breast Enlargement Breakthrough
Unemployment looms for plastic surgeons
Japanese brainwashing deprogrammer, Hideto Tomabechi, has developed a ringtone that induces breast enlargement when listened to. The ringtone is the result of research Tomabechi conducted during the 80's and 90's. When asked how the ringtone worked, he explained,
"I use sounds that make the brain and body move unconsciously. It's a technique involving subliminal effects.I suppose you could call it a kind of positive brainwashing. Sound waves travel in patterns that can be properly re-played."
Japanese women have flocked to download the ringtone and are reportedly delighted with the results. "I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped," says Chieri Nakayama, a 19-year-old pin-up model. "But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!" Sales of larger cup size bras in Japan have skyrocketed.
The breast enlargement ringtone is expected to rapidly replace the expensive and often risky surgical techniques currently in use, forcing many plastic surgeons who specialize in breast enlargement to seek alternative employment. Asked how plastic surgeons were reacting to Tomabechi's breakthrough, the President of the International Society of Plastic Surgeons said, "Our members are outraged. No downloadable, digital ringtone can ever replace the caring, hands on approach provided by a surgeon and his knife. We will stand firm in the face of this threat."
In other developments, a French plastic surgeon has chained himself to the gates of the Japanese embassy in Paris, and has begun a hunger strike to protest against the ringtone's availability.
Asked if he had heard the ringtone which is now available as an mp3 file on the internet, the surgeon, who wishes to remain anonymous replied,
"I am never played him on my G5." "I am preferring to be hungered to death", he added, his quavering voice revealing the heavy physical toll the hunger strike was taking as his protest entered it's seventh hour.
The ringtone can be heard here. Male readers are warned that playing the file may result in unwanted side effects.
Coming next : Male ringtone for Penis enlargement
Originally posted by Powerdoc
Coming next : Male ringtone for Penis enlargement
Oh god, don't we all wish...
But I'll settle for larger breasts for now.
Originally posted by Powerdoc
Male ringtone for Penis enlargement
Yes I thought that was a glaring omission. However, (and I hope you're paying attention here Spliney) Tomabechi has a ringtone in the works that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Perhaps penis enlargement will be a side benefit of that.
Anyway, I've listened to the ringtone for 12 hours straight. When I went to stand up, I toppled forward and I've been pinned to the floor by my now humongous breasts ever since. But hey, crippling deformity is a small price to pay as long as it keeps my mate happy.
No thanks on the Penis Enlargement though as one leg strap is fine enough for me
Originally posted by crazychester
Praise the lord! He's still alive. Weak and emaciated but alive. Hang in there Powerdoc. The scalpel is mightier than the ringtone!
Anyway, I've listened to the ringtone for 12 hours straight. When I went to stand up, I toppled forward and I've been pinned to the floor by my now humongous breasts ever since. But hey, crippling deformity is a small price to pay as long as it keeps my mate happy.
Poor Crazychester, the result was far beyond your hopes, now you have to go throught a breast reduction !
Sue this silly japonese programmer