Beam Me Up For Apple Trek Hardware

in Future Apple Hardware edited January 2014

Star Trek is it?

Let's see.

The Keynote begins in near pitch darkness, the only light in the room ebbs from the exit signs spread around the room. The crowd is noticeably anxious and the air is tinged with danger.

A bone-shaking thrumming noise pulses through the room and a high-pitched electronic hiss fills the air as a bright beam of light coalesces into human forms on the stage.

There are three men, all in turtlenecks.

Captain Steven P. Jobs, respelendent in his black turtleneck casts his eyes over the crowd looking for sweeties. He winks at a knot of 40-something women clustered in mini-dresses at his feet.

Science Officer Avie, in the blue turtleneck takes in his surroundings with a calculated efficiency pausing only once to raise his eyebrow at the sight of the third man on stage with them....

Ensign Phil Schiller glances back and forth at his Captain and at Mr. Avie, nervously tugging at the collar of his two-sizes-too-small red turtleneck.

"Jeepers, Captain Steve," sputters Ensign Schiller,"do you think they're hostile?"

Mr. Avie, tapping a small white device with his finger, its color screen reflected in his eyes, answers for the Captain,"Your fear is unfounded Mr. Schiller. Instruments indicate these people are calm, almost in a state of worshipful meditation."

"Doesn't matter if they're happy to see us or not boys, I'm shortly going to throw you both into the middle of that pack just as soon as I can whip them into a frenzy. But don't worry, I'm going to use this on them first...."

Reaching into his back pocket he fishes out a small device and aims it at the crowd, depressing the firing stud on top. A bright light fills the room and the words "One More Thing" fill the wall behind them.

"What is that thing he's using?"screams the Ensign as the crowd starts to howl and press forward toward the three men.

"Oh that? That's the Reality Distortion Field. The Captain's perfectly safe now....but he asked me to send you on a mission Mr. Red Shirt, I mean, Mr. Schiller. Could you walk over to those keyboards and activate the computer?"

The crowd surged forward and the screams began again, this time in earnest.

Sorry folks, couldn't help it. What kind of Star Trek hardware do you think we're going to get at this thing? Will Avie really wear a blue turtleneck? Will Phill Schiller survive the bake-off? More of these questions and more, all answered on January 7th, 2002!!!!
Sign In or Register to comment.