new .Mac FAQ

Posted:
in Mac Software edited January 2014
Q: Will the new for-pay .Mac service be more reliable?

A: No.



Q: Will there be a phone number to call for technical support?

A: No.



Q: Will there be an e-mail address to report outages?

A: No.



Q: Will there, in fact, be any support at all?

A: No.



Q: Will the 100MB of storage come with an increased bandwidth limit for web sites?

A: No.



Q: Will you be telling us what the bandwidth limits are?

A: No.



Q: Will you support CGI, PHP, SSI, SQL, servlets, JSP, WebObjects applications, or anything else beyond regular static HTML files?

A: No.



Q: Will I be able to get access to my web logs? Or any other realtime webspace access statistics?

A: No.



Q: What about backup--our files are safe if we back them up to iDisk, right?

A: No. Apple does not guarantee the integrity of any files on iDisk, even if placed there by the Apple Backup software.



Q: Well, we can at least use the Backup software to back up our computers to CD-R, right?

A: No, not if you have any files bigger than 650MB.



Q: What about using my external tape drive, DVD drive or Firewire hard drive?

A: No, Backup only works with Apple-supplied internal drives. And only if you're a .mac member.



Q: So the backup software doesn't back up from my local hard disk to my local CD burner, unless I have a .Mac membership and an active net connection?

A: Correct.



Q: OK. The service also includes anti-virus software. Are there any Mac OS X viruses at all?

A: No.



Q: If I don't use Microsoft Office, do I need to worry about macro viruses?

A: No.



Q: Umm... OK. So how much for this invaluable service?

A: $99 for one year. Plus tax. In advance.



Q: Can I get two accounts, for me and my wife?

A: Sure, that'll be $198 plus tax. In advance.



Q: No, I mean can I get a second account at a discount because I've already bought one?

A: Oh, alright then, quit whining. You can get a second account for $10 a year if you buy one full account.



Q: And it'll have the backup, anti-virus, and web functionality?

A: No, only an e-mail address.



Q: Ah... but at least it'll be a full e-mail account, right?

A: No, you'll only get 5MB of space. But that's nearly enough to hold five days' spam.



Q: Can't my two accounts just share the same space for a nominal extra fee?

A: No.



Q: Is there a satisfaction guarantee?

A: Yes. Apple <a href="http://www.mac.com/1/membership_terms.html"; target="_blank">reserves the right</a> to terminate your access to the online services and the software, without cause, without notice and without refunding your money, if it's not satisfied with your behavior.



Q: What kinds of things am I not allowed to post on my web site?

A: Anything "lewd" or "vulgar", anything "embarrassing" to anyone, or anything that counts as advertising for any product or service.



Q: So you want $99 a year for an e-mail address, useless backup software, anti-virus software I could buy for $50, and web space limited to inoffensive pictures of fluffy kittens? $99 even if I only want to keep the "lifetime e-mail address" that you previously said was free just for buying a Mac?

A: Yes. Pay up now, in three weeks we'll delete your files and bounce your mail.



Q: I have one more question... What exactly are you smoking out there in Cupertino?

A: We think it's crack.



Comments

  • Reply 1 of 10
    thuh freakthuh freak Posts: 2,664member
    goddammit, i read that thread title and i thought there was hope for a revised answer for the "Email Management Button" question. Funny tho.



    when will they learn. all i want is phre email. i'd settle for forwarding. but i dont want to lose that acct. goshdarnit.
  • Reply 2 of 10
    surfratsurfrat Posts: 341member
    HAHAH!!!



    Dude, you are so 100% right. Send that crap to Apple right NOW!!



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 3 of 10
    patchoulipatchouli Posts: 402member
    Now THAT was hilarious! <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 4 of 10
    bradbowerbradbower Posts: 1,068member
    [quote]Originally posted by SurfRat:

    <strong>HAHAH!!!



    Dude, you are so 100% right. Send that crap to Apple right NOW!!



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>



    Thanks. You're welcome to send it to Apple as well, post it on any other forums or websites.. send it to friends.. keep a copy in every room of your home, etc. The word needs to get out!
  • Reply 5 of 10
    jet powersjet powers Posts: 288member
    Boo-hoo. Things aren't free on the internet anymore.



    Cry me a river.



    ting5
  • Reply 6 of 10
    bradbowerbradbower Posts: 1,068member
    [quote]Originally posted by Yet Another Registration:

    <strong>Boo-hoo. Things aren't free on the internet anymore.



    Cry me a river.



    ting5</strong><hr></blockquote>



    You totally missed it.



    *sigh*



    It isn't about paying for something that was once free, it's about getting what you pay for, and the quality of service. Either way I have no choice but to 'upgrade' to .Mac, but I sincerely hope that people read this post (only partially in jest) and eventually coerce Apple to make .Mac a better service for our hard-earned money. Right now, it's a joke, but as I said I don't have a choice, and I know a lot of us are in the same boat?so we're just going to give it a try, for $50. For twice that, Apple's going to have to try a little bit harder.
  • Reply 7 of 10
    derrick 61derrick 61 Posts: 178member
    [quote]Originally posted by thuh Freak:

    <strong>goddammit, i read that thread title and i thought there was hope for a revised answer for the "Email Management Button" question. Funny tho.



    when will they learn. all i want is phre email. i'd settle for forwarding. but i dont want to lose that acct. goshdarnit.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    Here is the "revised answer" directly from Apple's site:



    [quote] Converting your .Mac trial account to an email-only account



    IMPORTANT: If you want to convert your .Mac trial account to an email-only account, you cannot do this directly. You must have a full .Mac member, who has purchased an additional email-only account, include your converted account as part of their membership. Once your trial account has been converted, all your data files (except for your email messages) will be removed from Apple's servers. Other .Mac services, such as iDisk, HomePage, Backup, and Virex, are not accessible to email-only accounts.



    To convert someone else's trial account to email-only, you must be a full .Mac member who has purchased an additional email-only account. Go to <a href="http://www.mac.com,"; target="_blank">www.mac.com,</a> click Account in the .Mac menu bar, then click the Email Account Management button. Enter the member name and password of the trial account you want to convert, then click Convert.



    Print the email-only account information for future reference, then click Continue.



    <hr></blockquote>
  • Reply 8 of 10
    donnydonny Posts: 231member
    LOL Hillarious! <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />



    I am afraid it rings too close to the truth, also. Hopefully, Apple will add such needed items, plus others, to a payed web service model over time. Honestly, the transition period should be longer and allow user feedback before attempting to charge for it. Regardless, it was not thought out very clearly before implementation. It seem to be a qucik push to compete with .Net while allowing for addition, possible, revenue for Apple. Unfortunately, I do not think Apple put enough thought into the fact that it screws a lot of customers, creates major bad vibes within the Macintosh community, and promoates a shabby attempt at payed web services. Apple is smooth and polished with their announcements and products, usually. I wonder what unseen preassure, if any, or motivation is behind this move to .Mac. Obviously, it could create move revenue, evenually, but I do not believe enough to help during troubled economic times. It needs more time to take-off. A lot of Jaguar services seem much more powerful with this additional service provided by .Mac. Maybe an after thought that was rushed to make the Macintosh have a more viable business appeal? The switch campaign and all...

    Thoughts, comments, ideas?
  • Reply 9 of 10
    [quote]Originally posted by Yet Another Registration:

    <strong>Boo-hoo. Things aren't free on the internet anymore.



    Cry me a river.



    ting5</strong><hr></blockquote>



    That was a hilarious FAQ.



    So I'm not going to pay 100 Mb a year for .Mac. I will miss it though. I was hosting downloads for freeware games I worked on. These things were Mac only, and one of them often gets windows users pleading for a Windows version. Once .Mac comes I won't be hosting the games for download. The more apps out for OS X the better for Apple. I only needed maybe 10 MB... but I am not shelling out 100$ a year for what they are offering. So Apple has irritated me and hurt themselves too, I think.
  • Reply 10 of 10
    Q: Will mac.com bring back Napster?

    A: Sure but bandwidth caps will allow you to download one song monthly.
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