How to End World Hunger

Posted:
in AppleOutsider edited January 2014
When humans die, some of our bodies are destroyed by the same horrific event which causes our death. Fire, water, falling bricks, or whatever the case may be. Our bodies are mutilated beyond recognition. Some of us die of disease, leaving our bodies writhing in germs. But many of us die with our bodies perfectly intact. Approximately 56,597,034 people die each year. Of these, I?d say it is safe to assume that at least half of them leave behind bodies in pristine shape. So what do we do with these bodies? Bury them. Or burn them.



What a waste of resources.



About 6 million people die of hunger each year. We try to give them food, but the government has a hard time justifying spending so much money on feeding the hungry. After all, buying so much food does get to be rather expensive. Food costs money to grow.



But what about the 4244777550 pounds of meat that is produced each year in the form of dead human bodies? It would cost very little to take dead human carcasses and clean them up a little so they could be eaten. Doesn?t it make sense to use old humans to help grow the new? It?s kind of the same principle as recycling.



It would cost a little bit of money to prepare the bodies for consumption, as certain bits of the human body should not be eaten, and it might be a good idea to clean the corpses before eating them. But you would get much more bang for your buck with this method than buying any other type of food for starving people, as the actual food itself can be obtained free of charge, the dead having no real say in the matter.



This may seem morally repulsive to some people. But look at it this way: isn?t it better to eat someone who is already dead than die yourself? Someone dies of hunger every 3.6 seconds. That is a LOT of deaths. Are we willing to let people go on dying when we have a perfectly reasonable way to feed them simply because it breaches etiquette? I certainly hope that we can straighten out our priorities...



Many citizens already agree to be organ donors; is it really that much more of a stretch to donate your entire body?



Think about the children who are starving to death even now as you are reading this. They, too, might shrink away at first from the idea of eating someone?s grandparents. But eventually they will choose this option over dying themselves. All we do with the bodies is bury them anyway. Why not use them to help those in need?
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 41
    Uh... yeah. Gee, grandma, you were so soft and kind-- why are you so chewy? Not going to happen.



    Look into it-- world hunger is often a matter of governments and people controlling other people to everyone's detriment, not a lack of world food.



    Now go wash your brain out with soap.
  • Reply 2 of 41
    Great, get them to used to cannabalism as well as make it acceptable. Most societies with starving people, especially African societies, are too unstable. Just like in Stalingrad, thousands of Africans would be laying on the ground with their asses cut off. Don't you think it would create even more violence over there? There would be a whole new market for kidnapping and killing "healthy" people for food.



    I may have a donor sticker on my ID, but I'm sure as hell not putting an "Eat Me" sticker on my driver's license so Marvin can enjoy my second and third toes...



    Were you just posting this to get a kick out of the replies?
  • Reply 3 of 41
    No new market for human meat would develop. Who would it be sold to? The meat is being distributed free of charge to starving people, so no one would buy it from anyone. Why would you kill people to sell it when there is no market?



    Obviously hunger is not due to a lack of food, it is due to a lack of funding to raise and buy the food. Humans pay for their own raising. Then they can die, and be eaten by other humans. It is a cycle that would be really efficient, and solve much of the world hunger problem.



    True, many African countries with high starvation rates are a bit unstable, but it wouldn't have to be the country doing the handing out of the meat. Why not our government, or some helpful organization like the Red Cross?



    Really what it amounts to is this: if you're not willing to be eaten, then you're being selfish.
  • Reply 4 of 41
    mydomydo Posts: 1,888member
    The problem with world starvation has never been lack of food but lack of distribution. Either because of money or governments or war. Obviously this thread is a joke why bother commenting more?
  • Reply 5 of 41
    "The problem with world starvation has never been lack of food but lack of distribution. Either because of money or governments or war. Obviously this thread is a joke why bother commenting more?"



    Exactly. I am proposing a way to help starving people without spending near as much money as it would take to do it using current strategies. Food costs much more than carcasses, and is in much shorter supply. We have an abundance of meat that we are literally throwing away. I propose feeding it to people. This would solve the "lack of distribution" problem you are referring to, since we can affoord it easier. It is not because of "government," because the government has always been willing to help feed the hungry. It has just never had the funds to do it on a wide enough scale, which is why the problem persists. Once the hungry are fed for a while, and can feed their children, they will develop into strong, healthy people, who will become contributing members of society. There will be no more homeless or starving, because everyone will now be able to get a job. Once they get fed, they get strong, so they can get a career too make money. It may just take a few generations to kick start, so hence my idea for feeding them without expending too much of a budget.



    Now do you have anything intelligent to contribute, or would you rather shut down these ideas without really understanding them?
  • Reply 6 of 41
    Wow, this is hilarious, but I'll admit I've thought of it before too. There are several problems with this. One, of course, is cannibalism is not socially acceptable in any developed countries. The second is disease. You've addressed this already by saying that we couldn't eat certain parts. Just so I add something useful I wanted to bring up the problems with eating humans. There have been several serious diseases associated with cannibalism. Admittedly, they come from eating the brain and spinal cord, but stuff happens in butchering factories. One of the most serious problems are pryons. They are basically disfigured proteins that disfigured other proteins which then disfigure more proteins. This happens in the brain until it's a sponge. There's no cure. Very serious.



    By the way, I love your statement "if you're not willing to be eaten, then you're being selfish."
  • Reply 7 of 41
    Wowa. Those pyrons sound pretty serious. I don't want a SpongeBrain...



    Although of course, if you prepare it right, then nothing bad will happen to yoou. Here is an excerpt from an article which goes into detail on how to "Butcher the Human Carcass for Human Consumption."



    "Body Preparation: Acquiring your subject is up to you. For best results and health, freshness is imperative. A living human in captivity is optimal, but not always available. When possible make sure the animal has no food for 48 hours, but plenty of water. This fasting helps flush the system, purging stored toxins and bodily wastes, as well as making bleeding and cleaning easier. Under ideal conditions, the specimen will then be stunned into insensitivity. Sharp unexpected blows to the head are best, tranquilizers not being recommended as they may taint the flavor of the meat. If this is not possible without exciting the animal and causing a struggle (which will pump a greater volume of blood and secretions such as adrenaline throughout the body), a single bullet through the middle of the forehead or back of the skull will suffice.



    Hanging: Once the animal is unconscious or dead, it is ready to be hoisted. Get the feet up first, then the hands, with the head down. This is called the "Gein configuration". Simple loops of rope may be tied around the hands and feet and then attached to a crossbar or overhead beam. Or, by making a cut behind the Achilles tendon, a meathook may be inserted into each ankle for hanging support. The legs should be spread so that the feet are outside the shoulders, with the arms roughly parallel to the legs. This provides access to the pelvis, and keeps the arms out of the way in a ready position for removal. It's easiest to work if the feet are slightly above the level of the butcher's head.



    Bleeding: Place a large open vessel beneath the animal's head. With a long-bladed knife, start at one corner of the jaw and make a deep "ear-to-ear" cut through the neck and larynx to the opposite side. This will sever the internal and external carotid arteries, the major blood vessels carrying blood from the heart to the head, face, and brain. If the animal is not yet dead, this will kill it quickly, and allow for the blood to drain in any case. After the initial rush of blood, the stream should be controllable and can be directed into a receptacle. Drainage can be assisted by massaging the extremities down in the direction of the trunk, and by compressing and releasing, "pumping", the stomach. A mature specimen will contain almost six liters of blood. There is no use for this fluid, unless some source is waiting to use it immediately for ritual purposes. It acts as an emetic in most people if drunk, and it must be mentioned here that because of the eternal possibility of AIDS it is recommended that for safety's sake all blood should be considered to be contaminated and disposed of in some fashion. It is not known whether an HlV-infected human's flesh is dangerous even if cooked, but this is another item to consider when choosing a specimen, someone in the low-risk strata."



    And it goes on and on for quite a while. Someone has given this thought...



    For the full text of the article, here ya go: http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-...s/butcher.html





    Yeah, that sentence gave me the lolies to write too..
  • Reply 8 of 41
    Oh come on now, don't make fun of my pryons. They are serious, but if prepared right then it shouldn't happen, you're right. Really if one really wanted a cure you could just denature the proteins, but that can't be done and have the person live. Brain and acid don't mix well, nor does the brain and very high temperatures.



    You should use that sentence for your signature.
  • Reply 9 of 41
    By the way, have you heard of that one guy in germany, I think, that advertised in the local newspaper for a young man to be butchered? I'll try and find the article.
  • Reply 10 of 41
    mydomydo Posts: 1,888member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by maimezvous


    By the way, have you heard of that one guy in germany, I think, that advertised in the local newspaper for a young man to be butchered? I'll try and find the article.



    Yea he did. Some guy offered to be killed and eaten and he was killed an eaten. Then the germans couldn't charge the guy with anything because it's apparently not against the law to kill and eat a willing participant. I think he got off free. Germany is fscked up.
  • Reply 11 of 41
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mydo


    Yea he did. Som guy offered to be killed and eaten and he was killed an eaten. Then the germans couldn't charge the guy with anything because it's apparently not against the law to kill and eat a willing participant. I think he got off free. Germany is fscked up.



    According to Turnwrite, they are socially advanced.
  • Reply 12 of 41
    Pryon diseases are a big deal. Beyond this mere fact, the infrastructure required to preserve and ship himan meat would be somewhat costly and elaborate. The easiest step towards ending at least some of the hunger is to be vocal in opposition to agricultural pork-barrelling. One of the big reasons why people in third world nations are hungry is because we pay their farmers to grow crops that don't interfere with home-grown staples (i.e. wheat). A nation cannot survive on sugar cane.
  • Reply 13 of 41
    prions, ladies and gentlemen, prions...



    When was the last time anyone ate a tertiary predator on this board?
  • Reply 14 of 41
    I think I will have nightmares tonight...
  • Reply 15 of 41
    Here I found it on Wikipedia:



    In December 2002, a highly unusual case was uncovered in the town of Rotenburg in Hesse, Germany. In 2001 Armin Meiwes, a 41-year-old computer administrator, had posted messages like his more recent ones (see messages) in Internet newsgroups on the subject of cannibalism, repeatedly looking for "a young Boy, between 18 and 25 y/o" to butcher. At least one of his requests was successful: Jürgen Brandes, another computer administrator, offered himself to be slaughtered. The two men agreed on a meeting. Jürgen Brandes was, with his consent, killed and partially eaten by Meiwes, who, as a result, was sentenced to eight-and-a-half years in jail for manslaughter (Totschlag, second-degree murder). In April 2005, the German Federal Court of Justice ordered a retrial upon appeal of the prosecution, and in May 2006 Meiwes was convicted of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment. The band Rammstein took up this case in the song Mein Teil.



    I guess they did punish him after all. Not so socially advanced as we thought.... Methink the song is the best part though. Here is an excerpt from an imperfect translation of the lyrics:



    Search well built eighteen to dreissigjährigen ones for slaughtering.

    The butcher master.



    .....



    The blunt blade - good and quite

    I bleed strongly and to me am bad

    I must fight also with the faint

    I continue to eat under cramps



    Is nevertheless so well peppered and so beautifully flambiert

    And in such a way affectionate on porcelain serves

    In addition a good wine and a tender candle light

    Yes, there leave yourself I time

    Something culture must be



    Because you are, which you eats

    And you know, what it is?



    It is my part - no

    My part - no

    Because that is mine part! - no

    Yes, it's my part - no



    And so on. Why anyone would write a song about this is beyond me. I guess songs about normal love and unrequited love got old, so they had to settle for cannibalistic necrophiliac love. Oh well. Can't win em all....



    Yeah I am gonna have freaky dreams too. Try watching a bunch of cheap anime in the original Japanese with the volume turned up way too high while drinking Bawls. Then your dreams will be even better. (Gives me migraines just THINKING about doing this....)
  • Reply 16 of 41
    aslan^aslan^ Posts: 599member
    What do you guys think of a variation on this theme where people are ground into feed and fed to livestock. Somewhat reducing the amount of land needed to grow crops to feed cattle.



    Would this be safe?



    We know people eating cows that have eaten other cows isn't safe, what about people eating cows who have eaten other people?



    How many times removed do we need to be in the cycle before it's safe for us to consume? How about humans fed to sharks, who are then fed to cows, who are then fed to humans?
  • Reply 17 of 41
    Is it really prions? I seem to remember reading it as pryons.
  • Reply 18 of 41
    placeboplacebo Posts: 5,767member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mydo


    Yea he did. Some guy offered to be killed and eaten and he was killed an eaten. Then the germans couldn't charge the guy with anything because it's apparently not against the law to kill and eat a willing participant. I think he got off free. Germany is fscked up.



    How is that fucked up? He's not stealing children in the night.
  • Reply 19 of 41
    thuh freakthuh freak Posts: 2,664member
    turnwrite, your biggest hurdle will be convincing the average person to eat human flesh Most humans have a problem eating other humans. Theres a handful of native cultures which do engage in cannibalism, and a handful of times when westerners have. In western culture, its generally individuals who also commit serial murders, or catastrophe survivors who turn to the absolute-survival. I'm inclined to think that countries in the most need for food will have a higher rate of starvation and malnutrition; which would produce less appetizing human meals. Also, consider death by illness, or dormant illnesses in the deceased, progressing via eating. Theres also long term effects of consuming human flesh that are not well investigated in large populations, methinks.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Placebo


    How is that fucked up? He's not stealing children in the night.



    A) cannibalism. B) some people have a problem with euthanasia, especially on a person who is not at the end-stage of their life.
  • Reply 20 of 41
    placeboplacebo Posts: 5,767member
    But it's their own business.
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