My 8th grade project outline on the iPod. Any good?
I.\t
A. The iPod, an extraordinary gadget that has revolutionized the idea of media technology.
\tB.
\t\ta. The iPod started out as a somewhat popular MP3 player.
b. As the iPod grew older and more popular, it started taking different shapes and forms as new models, along with new features such as photo viewing and video viewing.
c. Apple had over 62% of the MP3 player market share in November 2006. That same month, Microsoft released its ?iPod killer? It had an embarrassing 1% of the market share that month.
C. The iPod is a huge advancement in media technology and is the best MP3 player on the market.
II. Where the iPod is now.
A. The iPod currently comes in three models, commonly called ?The iPod Family.?
a. The iPod family currently consists of the iPod (often called the iPod Video), the iPod Nano and the iPod Shuffle.
b. (Need more info)
\tB. Individual descriptions of each iPod.
\ta. The fifth generation iPod has a 30 gigabyte or 80 gigabyte hard drive and a 2.5 inch screen. The 80 gigabyte model holds 20,000 songs, 25,000 photos and/or 100 hours of video. Comes in white or black.
\tb. The second generation iPod Nano is thinner than a small children?s book. It comes in 2gb (500 songs), 4gb (1,000 songs) and 8gb (2,000 songs) models. It can also show photos. Comes in silver, pink, red, blue, green and black.
\tc. The second generation iPod shuffle is the smallest iPod of them all. It comes in a 1gb (240 songs) model. If this iPod were any smaller, the buttons would have to shrink too because the majority of the surface is buttons. Includes a small clip that clips on to virtually anything.
III. This was just the beginning.
\tA. The iPod was not always the multi-featured multimedia device it is today.
\ta. It started as a thick, heavy music player with a 5gb hard drive holding 1,250 songs. It had a scroll wheel with four buttons, play/pause, skip song/fast forward, skip back a song/rewind and a menu button.
\tb. The simple design of the iPod is also what made it so famous. For example, other MP3 players like the SanDisk Sansa MP3 player lineup have multiple colors on one device and several complicated buttons. The iPod has a simple white or black design and an easy-to-use interface.
B. Over time, the iPod came in different models, with different features, in different sizes.
\ta. In 2004, iPod Mini was released which really made Apple Inc. noticed by much of the world. Came in 4gb (1,000 songs) and 6gb (1,500 songs) models. Came in blue, green, silver, pink and gold
\tb. Also in 2004, the tiniest MP3 player in the world was released. It was called the iPod shuffle. It was shorter and thinner than most packs of gum. Came in a 512 Megabyte (120 songs) and a 1gb (240 songs) model.
\tc. In 2005, discontinuing the ever popular iPod Mini, the iPod Nano was released. It was thinner than a pencil and as light as one too. It came in white or black with 1gb (240 songs), 2gb (500 songs) and 4gb (1,000 songs) models. It also could hold up to 25,000 photos.
IV. The Future of iPod.
A. During Apple?s 2007 MacWorld San Francisco exposition, Apple announced possibly one of the greatest gadgets ever thought up of. The iPhone.
\ta. Entering its fifth year of rumors, Apple?s long awaited mobile phone was released. The iPhone combines three products, an iPod with widescreen video a mobile phone and a portable internet device. It will be available in stores in June
\tb. The iPhone is loaded with features including wi-fi, Apple?s mini version of their computer operating system, Mac OS 10, Apple?s web browser, Safari, E-Mail, visual voicemail, texting, Google Maps, 2.0 megapixel camera, calculator, stock ticker, calendar, weather and so much more all in the thinnest real smartphone around.
\tB. AppleTV, the iPod for your living room.
\ta. The AppleTV was announced at MacWorld 2007 as well. It comes out in February 2007. It takes all content in an iTunes library which includes television shows, music videos, movies, Podcasts and music plus photos wirelessly and allows the user to play that entire media on a widescreen television.
\tb. It is smaller than most TV boxes and can produce very high quality video and sound. It can be hooked up to almost any widescreen TV. It has a 40gb hard drive so it can hold 10,000 songs, 25,000 photos and/or 50 hours of video.
C. Apple?s goals.
\ta. Last year, over 957 million mobile phones were sold which means 10 million phones sold is 1% of the market share. In Apple?s first full year of the iPhone?s availability, in 2008, their goal is to sell 10 million iPhones.
\tb. As of January 17, 2007, Apple stock (AAPL) was at $94.95. Their goal by January 1, 2008 is to reach $99.95. The price of Apple stock has nearly doubled in the past six months.
V. Just one more thing?
\tA. The iPod has revolutionized the mobile media industry as we know it.
\tB. The iPod today is the best and most popular media player around.
\tC. The iPhone and AppleTV will be a huge success. As for what?s next, who knows?
__________________________________________________ ________________________ Please post feedback/suggestions.
A. The iPod, an extraordinary gadget that has revolutionized the idea of media technology.
\tB.
\t\ta. The iPod started out as a somewhat popular MP3 player.
b. As the iPod grew older and more popular, it started taking different shapes and forms as new models, along with new features such as photo viewing and video viewing.
c. Apple had over 62% of the MP3 player market share in November 2006. That same month, Microsoft released its ?iPod killer? It had an embarrassing 1% of the market share that month.
C. The iPod is a huge advancement in media technology and is the best MP3 player on the market.
II. Where the iPod is now.
A. The iPod currently comes in three models, commonly called ?The iPod Family.?
a. The iPod family currently consists of the iPod (often called the iPod Video), the iPod Nano and the iPod Shuffle.
b. (Need more info)
\tB. Individual descriptions of each iPod.
\ta. The fifth generation iPod has a 30 gigabyte or 80 gigabyte hard drive and a 2.5 inch screen. The 80 gigabyte model holds 20,000 songs, 25,000 photos and/or 100 hours of video. Comes in white or black.
\tb. The second generation iPod Nano is thinner than a small children?s book. It comes in 2gb (500 songs), 4gb (1,000 songs) and 8gb (2,000 songs) models. It can also show photos. Comes in silver, pink, red, blue, green and black.
\tc. The second generation iPod shuffle is the smallest iPod of them all. It comes in a 1gb (240 songs) model. If this iPod were any smaller, the buttons would have to shrink too because the majority of the surface is buttons. Includes a small clip that clips on to virtually anything.
III. This was just the beginning.
\tA. The iPod was not always the multi-featured multimedia device it is today.
\ta. It started as a thick, heavy music player with a 5gb hard drive holding 1,250 songs. It had a scroll wheel with four buttons, play/pause, skip song/fast forward, skip back a song/rewind and a menu button.
\tb. The simple design of the iPod is also what made it so famous. For example, other MP3 players like the SanDisk Sansa MP3 player lineup have multiple colors on one device and several complicated buttons. The iPod has a simple white or black design and an easy-to-use interface.
B. Over time, the iPod came in different models, with different features, in different sizes.
\ta. In 2004, iPod Mini was released which really made Apple Inc. noticed by much of the world. Came in 4gb (1,000 songs) and 6gb (1,500 songs) models. Came in blue, green, silver, pink and gold
\tb. Also in 2004, the tiniest MP3 player in the world was released. It was called the iPod shuffle. It was shorter and thinner than most packs of gum. Came in a 512 Megabyte (120 songs) and a 1gb (240 songs) model.
\tc. In 2005, discontinuing the ever popular iPod Mini, the iPod Nano was released. It was thinner than a pencil and as light as one too. It came in white or black with 1gb (240 songs), 2gb (500 songs) and 4gb (1,000 songs) models. It also could hold up to 25,000 photos.
IV. The Future of iPod.
A. During Apple?s 2007 MacWorld San Francisco exposition, Apple announced possibly one of the greatest gadgets ever thought up of. The iPhone.
\ta. Entering its fifth year of rumors, Apple?s long awaited mobile phone was released. The iPhone combines three products, an iPod with widescreen video a mobile phone and a portable internet device. It will be available in stores in June
\tb. The iPhone is loaded with features including wi-fi, Apple?s mini version of their computer operating system, Mac OS 10, Apple?s web browser, Safari, E-Mail, visual voicemail, texting, Google Maps, 2.0 megapixel camera, calculator, stock ticker, calendar, weather and so much more all in the thinnest real smartphone around.
\tB. AppleTV, the iPod for your living room.
\ta. The AppleTV was announced at MacWorld 2007 as well. It comes out in February 2007. It takes all content in an iTunes library which includes television shows, music videos, movies, Podcasts and music plus photos wirelessly and allows the user to play that entire media on a widescreen television.
\tb. It is smaller than most TV boxes and can produce very high quality video and sound. It can be hooked up to almost any widescreen TV. It has a 40gb hard drive so it can hold 10,000 songs, 25,000 photos and/or 50 hours of video.
C. Apple?s goals.
\ta. Last year, over 957 million mobile phones were sold which means 10 million phones sold is 1% of the market share. In Apple?s first full year of the iPhone?s availability, in 2008, their goal is to sell 10 million iPhones.
\tb. As of January 17, 2007, Apple stock (AAPL) was at $94.95. Their goal by January 1, 2008 is to reach $99.95. The price of Apple stock has nearly doubled in the past six months.
V. Just one more thing?
\tA. The iPod has revolutionized the mobile media industry as we know it.
\tB. The iPod today is the best and most popular media player around.
\tC. The iPhone and AppleTV will be a huge success. As for what?s next, who knows?
__________________________________________________ ________________________ Please post feedback/suggestions.
Comments
What's your essay for?
I.\t
A. The iPod, an extraordinary gadget that has revolutionized the idea of media technology.
\tB.
\t\ta. The iPod started out as a somewhat popular MP3 player.
b. As the iPod grew older and more popular, it started taking different shapes and forms as new models, along with new features such as photo viewing and video viewing.
c. Apple had over 62% of the MP3 player market share in November 2006. That same month, Microsoft released its ?iPod killer? It had an embarrassing 1% of the market share that month.
C. The iPod is a huge advancement in media technology and is the best MP3 player on the market.
II. Where the iPod is now.
A. The iPod currently comes in three models, commonly called ?The iPod Family.?
a. The iPod family currently consists of the iPod (often called the iPod Video), the iPod Nano and the iPod Shuffle.
b. (Need more info)
\tB. Individual descriptions of each iPod.
\ta. The fifth generation iPod has a 30 gigabyte or 80 gigabyte hard drive and a 2.5 inch screen. The 80 gigabyte model holds 20,000 songs, 25,000 photos and/or 100 hours of video. Comes in white or black.
\tb. The second generation iPod Nano is thinner than a small children?s book. It comes in 2gb (500 songs), 4gb (1,000 songs) and 8gb (2,000 songs) models. It can also show photos. Comes in silver, pink, red, blue, green and black.
\tc. The second generation iPod shuffle is the smallest iPod of them all. It comes in a 1gb (240 songs) model. If this iPod were any smaller, the buttons would have to shrink too because the majority of the surface is buttons. Includes a small clip that clips on to virtually anything.
III. This was just the beginning.
\tA. The iPod was not always the multi-featured multimedia device it is today.
\ta. It started as a thick, heavy music player with a 5gb hard drive holding 1,250 songs. It had a scroll wheel with four buttons, play/pause, skip song/fast forward, skip back a song/rewind and a menu button.
\tb. The simple design of the iPod is also what made it so famous. For example, other MP3 players like the SanDisk Sansa MP3 player lineup have multiple colors on one device and several complicated buttons. The iPod has a simple white or black design and an easy-to-use interface.
B. Over time, the iPod came in different models, with different features, in different sizes.
\ta. In 2004, iPod Mini was released which really made Apple Inc. noticed by much of the world. Came in 4gb (1,000 songs) and 6gb (1,500 songs) models. Came in blue, green, silver, pink and gold
\tb. Also in 2004, the tiniest MP3 player in the world was released. It was called the iPod shuffle. It was shorter and thinner than most packs of gum. Came in a 512 Megabyte (120 songs) and a 1gb (240 songs) model.
\tc. In 2005, discontinuing the ever popular iPod Mini, the iPod Nano was released. It was thinner than a pencil and as light as one too. It came in white or black with 1gb (240 songs), 2gb (500 songs) and 4gb (1,000 songs) models. It also could hold up to 25,000 photos.
IV. The Future of iPod.
A. During Apple?s 2007 MacWorld San Francisco exposition, Apple announced possibly one of the greatest gadgets ever thought up of. The iPhone.
\ta. Entering its fifth year of rumors, Apple?s long awaited mobile phone was released. The iPhone combines three products, an iPod with widescreen video a mobile phone and a portable internet device. It will be available in stores in June
\tb. The iPhone is loaded with features including wi-fi, Apple?s mini version of their computer operating system, Mac OS 10, Apple?s web browser, Safari, E-Mail, visual voicemail, texting, Google Maps, 2.0 megapixel camera, calculator, stock ticker, calendar, weather and so much more all in the thinnest real smartphone around.
\tB. AppleTV, the iPod for your living room.
\ta. The AppleTV was announced at MacWorld 2007 as well. It comes out in February 2007. It takes all content in an iTunes library which includes television shows, music videos, movies, Podcasts and music plus photos wirelessly and allows the user to play that entire media on a widescreen television.
\tb. It is smaller than most TV boxes and can produce very high quality video and sound. It can be hooked up to almost any widescreen TV. It has a 40gb hard drive so it can hold 10,000 songs, 25,000 photos and/or 50 hours of video.
C. Apple?s goals.
\ta. Last year, over 957 million mobile phones were sold which means 10 million phones sold is 1% of the market share. In Apple?s first full year of the iPhone?s availability, in 2008, their goal is to sell 10 million iPhones.
\tb. As of January 17, 2007, Apple stock (AAPL) was at $94.95. Their goal by January 1, 2008 is to reach $99.95. The price of Apple stock has nearly doubled in the past six months.
V. Just one more thing?
\tA. The iPod has revolutionized the mobile media industry as we know it.
\tB. The iPod today is the best and most popular media player around.
\tC. The iPhone and AppleTV will be a huge success. As for what?s next, who knows?
__________________________________________________ ________________________ Please post feedback/suggestions.
I'll try...I mean this all constructively.
You've filled the outline with subjective terms and declarations, such as "best mp3 player on the market" and "Microsoft had an embarassing 1% market share." You shouldn't even use a subjective term like "thick" or "heavy." There has to be a frame of reference.
A further example of this kind of statement is:
The iPod is a huge advancement in media technology and is the best MP3 player on the market.
What does the term "huge advancement" mean?
You also make several unsupported statements, such as:
a. In 2004, iPod Mini was released which really made Apple Inc. noticed by much of the world.
and
b. The simple design of the iPod is also what made it so famous.
I also think that the shuffle was not "the tiniest" mp3 player on the market. That is likely inaccurate.
Moving on, I don't understand why the end of the outline talks about Apple in general. If you want to tie in the iPhone, do it in a "future" section.
______________
So, to pull all this together, I would suggest.
1. Writing the outline from a neutral point of view. The current one is clearly biased towards the iPod. You have to leave your personal likes and dislikes out of it.
2. Organizing it into five sections:
A. What is the iPod
B. A Brief History of the iPod
C. iPod Competitors and How They Match Up
D. The iPod's Future?
E. The iPod's Effect on Apple, Inc.
3. Eliminating all subjective terms such as "thick, heavy, embarassing, best, ever popular, etc."
4. Refrain from the use of any slogans or slogan like material, such as "the iPod for your living room."
Good luck. I mean this all constructively.
I'll try...I mean this all constructively.
You've filled the outline with subjective terms and declarations, such as "best mp3 player on the market" and "Microsoft had an embarassing 1% market share." You shouldn't even use a subjective term like "thick" or "heavy." There has to be a frame of reference.
A further example of this kind of statement is:
What does the term "huge advancement" mean?
You also make several unsupported statements, such as:
and
I also think that the shuffle was not "the tiniest" mp3 player on the market. That is likely inaccurate.
Moving on, I don't understand why the end of the outline talks about Apple in general. If you want to tie in the iPhone, do it in a "future" section.
______________
So, to pull all this together, I would suggest.
1. Writing the outline from a neutral point of view. The current one is clearly biased towards the iPod. You have to leave your personal likes and dislikes out of it.
2. Organizing it into five sections:
A. What is the iPod
B. A Brief History of the iPod
C. iPod Competitors and How They Match Up
D. The iPod's Future?
E. The iPod's Effect on Apple, Inc.
3. Eliminating all subjective terms such as "thick, heavy, embarassing, best, ever popular, etc."
4. Refrain from the use of any slogans or slogan like material, such as "the iPod for your living room."
Good luck. I mean this all constructively.
__________________________________________________ _______________________
I'm sorry for not being so specific. Part I was supposed to be an introduction. Part II is what it is now (present). Part III is about its past. Part IV is what I see the future of the product to be like. Part 5 is a conclusion. Overall, I'm supposed to have an arguement (someone else in my my class is doing the Zune). My arguement is that the iPod is the best and nothing stands in its path.
I also think that the shuffle was not "the tiniest" mp3 player on the market. That is likely inaccurate.
It is, in fact, inaccurate. The smallest player on the market EVER would have to be the iPod Invisi.
Give some dates of product release. Price and feature points. See if you can match is up with market share numbers. iTunes came out before the iPod. That might be interesting to present.
The sections all look good. I would reorder them
Intro: what's an MP3 player? Why do we care about them?
Beginning of iPod
iTMS, Podcasts. ...
Where is it now
Where is it going.
Summary
Good start. Have fun. If you can
It is, in fact, inaccurate. The smallest player on the market EVER would have to be the iPod Invisi.
I saw that...I laughed my ass off.
__________________________________________________ _______________________
I'm sorry for not being so specific. Part I was supposed to be an introduction. Part II is what it is now (present). Part III is about its past. Part IV is what I see the future of the product to be like. Part 5 is a conclusion. Overall, I'm supposed to have an arguement (someone else in my my class is doing the Zune). My arguement is that the iPod is the best and nothing stands in its path.
OK. BTW, I'm a teacher. Not sure if you know that. In any case, if your assignment is to take a position, then you need to stick more to facts. Why is the iPod the best? Is it the ease of use? If so, what makes it so easy to use? Is it the capacity? The sound quality? The seemless integration witht he iTunes Music Store and iTunes itself?
I still strongly recommend that you eliminate the subjective terms ("seemless" as I used it above would be very borderline IMO). Good luck once again.