The Big One is........

marcmarc
Posted:
in Future Apple Hardware edited January 2014
Steve comes in to kick off the keynote, and says "we at apple, pushed the keynote to the 7th because Microsoft is takeing apple over as of the 8th. Now some of you out there are thinking "how could this happen, Steve?" the reasion why we did this is quit simple i only got $1 for all my work in 2001 so i just make a cool $24b selling to billy boy look at the little geek over there, he cant wait to **** up the platform! oh and another thing, heres the new head of apple to bord you dar dar dar Bill Gates, he'll be talking to you today about were apples heading!"



"Thanks steve. Hi i'm Bill Gates, now i know your all mac users out here so we at microsft know the you 'macies' as we call you back at Ms HQ, are not use to error, so we at microsoft can help you by selling you ms windows 95mac. This windows 95mac is part of a 4 step plan to bring you 'macies' up with todays high tech windows xp errors. and remeber that from now on the most useful key combo on the macintosh will be Ctrl+Alt+Del" says Bill gates



"Well, ya'll all ****ed! i'm off to work full time at pixar now...maybe i'll come back in a few years and make a new computer at apple 3 or iComputer, inc as i like to see it" steves says as he departs from the keynote.

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 12
    horned_froghorned_frog Posts: 577member
    The Keynote to End All Keynotes. Literally.

  • Reply 2 of 12
    amidalaamidala Posts: 82member
    A monitor.
  • Reply 3 of 12
    crusadercrusader Posts: 1,129member
    That was almost depressing
  • Reply 4 of 12
    emaneman Posts: 7,204member
    That would just be horrible. I can't even imagine that.
  • Reply 5 of 12
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    Chills went up and down my spine while reading that. :eek: <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
  • Reply 6 of 12
    mcqmcq Posts: 1,543member
    That was truly scary. Bah! Go Away!
  • Reply 7 of 12
    cosmocosmo Posts: 662member
    wow now that i think about that i would be more upset if that happened then i have been at the end of my last few relationships.



    The only entertaining part would be the riot that would ensue after the announcement was made.
  • Reply 8 of 12
    marcmarc Posts: 19member
    From apple.com "...Beyond the rumor sites, way beyond" this can mean one thing, not only has steve sold apple he alos sold our as bill would like to put it 'macies' soles. At 25 cents a pop!



    Yes I can see the revised keynote now?.



    Hey is steve reading this?

    Hey steve, how are ya?

    Yo steve can we please have a HoverMac cause im so sick of having to use a disk or a leg, why cant computer fly..that that wold blow Toshiba away won?t it now?
  • Reply 9 of 12
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    If Bill Gates took over Apple, I'd ALMOST, and I mean *ALMOST* be as upset as I was the morning of 9/11.



    Two skyscrapers collapsing, another building burning, and a field getting a fresh crater -- all due to airplanes -- is only a *bit* more disturbing.



    Ah, perspective.
  • Reply 10 of 12
    mandricardmandricard Posts: 486member
    What about the old "Apple buying Palm" rumor... or even better, the "Apple Buying Adobe" rumor.



    :confused:



    Mandricard

    AppleOutsider
  • Reply 11 of 12
    cooopcooop Posts: 390member
    ... or Disney buying Apple?
  • Reply 12 of 12
    aphelionaphelion Posts: 736member
    What about Apple buying it's own future from Motorola? Steve's exercising it's $500 million option to the rights to the G4 & G5, then giving production contracts to IBM & AMD to fab the new chips.
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