Quotes poking fun at Windows

in General Discussion edited January 2014
So, in a couple of days I'm giving a brief (ppt) to Windows only users at my work and I have the opportunity to put a quote on the first slide saying really anything I want and after being attacked at my last brief by a windows guy with his quote (something about Apple being a bacteria), I feel I should return the favor. So, if you have a good quote that makes fun, or further harasses Windows users, now would be the time to throw it out there.

Thanks ahead of time for a collection we should all thoroughly enjoy!


  • Reply 1 of 11
    sonadowsonadow Posts: 13member
    That's easy.

    Just get Keynote, use every single 3D transistion you can find, and then brag that MS Office or Powerpoint is just plain old trash that puns on lousy and dated and ugly Pee Sees and laptops.
  • Reply 2 of 11
    MarvinMarvin Posts: 15,358moderator
    "They said install Windows XP or better so I installed Mac OS X."

  • Reply 3 of 11
    mydomydo Posts: 1,888member
    If you're presenting from a windows computer a good joke is to make a "blue screen of death" slide. If you're a good actor you can play it it's real. Maybe get someone to help you with it.

    There's always these problems with getting movies to run in powerpoint. Often they come up blank on the projector. I even noticed one time that that powerpoint acted differently if I used up/down arrow vs the page up/down to advance the slides.

    You could also screen shot the sundry annoying pop up messages that come from the lower right and have them pop up during your presentation. You know "Wireless network discovered. Would you like to connect?"
  • Reply 4 of 11
    dentondenton Posts: 725member
    I always liked:

    "Windows is a barrel of monkeys! That is, if the monkeys are diseased and unstable, and don't get along at all with the other primates."

    It was my signature for a while: but it's political season, so there are bigger fish to fry, as they say...
  • Reply 5 of 11
    MarvinMarvin Posts: 15,358moderator
    Originally Posted by Denton View Post

    "Windows is a barrel of monkeys! That is, if the monkeys are diseased and unstable, and don't get along at all with the other primates."

    It is said that 1000 monkeys given infinite amounts of time will write the entire works of Shakespeare. Give them 5 years and they come up with Windows Vista. Still it's not as bad as ME, which only took 10 minutes.
  • Reply 6 of 11
    An Apple a day keeps Mr Gates away.


    an Apple a day keeps viruses at bay.

    (yea, they suck, but then, im not a creative person. ^^)
  • Reply 7 of 11
    You first slide should discuss how you came to appleinsider and posted one of the lamest threads ever!!!

    When those stupid "mac guy vs windows guy" commercials were irritating the airwaves, I was wondering what idiots were truly inspired by these commercials. Thanks for representing "that" demographic.

    It is nice to know a true "professional" is out there training people in the manner that you are.

    What a frackin wannabe Lemming!!!
  • Reply 8 of 11
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    I'm always a fan of:

    "Do you want to work for your computer, or do you want your computer to work for you?"
  • Reply 9 of 11
    Heh, heh, heh.

    Wow, the wit is overwhelming. (No, I really mean that ? you people are good.)
  • Reply 10 of 11
    Maclemming--wow. So much for expressing opinions and asking for help. I'm sure ALL of YOUR posts are not lame in the least.

    You're what's wrong with internet message boards. Grow up.
  • Reply 11 of 11
    "Have you seen how fast vista is? Neither have I"
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