One of my Arab friends was bitching about the sound quality and the translation and .... yawn. Then he went into the whole "Hamas are freedom fighters" nonsense.
I'm rather tired with the "Arab Street". It's a street full of psychopathic morons. ****ing God could come down and tell them that yes in fact bin Laden planned it all. They would call God a liar.
Someone remind me why we give money to Egypt? Oh yea, were ****ing stupid.
<strong>Even if the tape is genuine, even if Bin Laden had blatantly stated that he was the one who planned, funded, organized, whatevered the events of 9/11, that proves nothing! Every time something horrible happens a terrorist group claims responsibility for it, sometimes more than one. More often than not, it's discovered that they actually had nothing to do with it and were just trying to get some free publicity. Until we have actual hard evidence that Bin Laden was responsible, all these video tapes are really nothing but hearsay and completely insubstantial.</strong><hr></blockquote>
I as an average citizen have no access to relevant information... only what is told to me... wether by "media at large" or the pentagon...
I do not know wether what I see is true or doctored, I do not think it is... but still most if not almost all of us are out of the real information loop because of neccessity...
With hundreds of oppinions and tainted viewpoints, etc... Alot of people are 100% sure that they know axactly whats going on... even though they have only the same to go on as I do...
the point is he is a mojor suspect and he will be captured or killed while resisting... I can only compare this to a police chase... If you pulled over for being suspect of even running a red light... and you push the "pedal to the metal" and drive a 101mph passed innocent people... endangering there lives and yours... youre going to "Get It" regardless of whether or not you commited any real crime... "you have made a bad situation, Worse". Hundreds if not thousands have died as a result of the "chase" pursiut of bin laden... and he continues to endanger innocent lives...
Now you could come back at me with a corralation of your own... maybe the fact that the pursuit may become too dangerous... that maybe too many people have died in this pursuit... I would then say... that if this "Hit and run" driver(bin laden) killed a bus of innocent school children(great deal of innocent people)... the chase "will not end" until he is apprehended...
the only thing I fear is that as this chase goes on, each party may become more desperate to end it... I hope against hope that there is no use of any "Mass Destruction Weapons"... bin laden as I am told has said he would only use them if they were used against him... but the first thing that comes to my mind... is... never trust the word of a bad guy...
I personally hope this all comes to a GOOD abrupt end soon...
I'm sick of these assholes hiding behind our trust and good will. I am not interested in after-the-fact solutions to terrorism. Preventative "medicine" seems like a good approach, and Bin Laden has been a highly likely source for terrorism, and, lest we forget, connected to previous acts of terrorism against the US anyway. Besides, US courts do not define "beyond a reasonable doubt" as catching the guy red-handed. It's plenty for an indictment alone.
If you're waiting for more bad shit to happen so you can catch him red-handed, you're going to let more shit happen.
the point is he is a mojor suspect and he will be captured or killed while resisting... I can only compare this to a police chase... If you pulled over for being suspect of even running a red light... and you push the "pedal to the metal" and drive a 101mph passed innocent people... endangering there lives and yours... youre going to "Get It" regardless of whether or not you commited any real crime... "you have made a bad situation, Worse". Hundreds if not thousands have died as a result of the "chase" pursiut of bin laden... and he continues to endanger innocent lives...
Now you could come back at me with a corralation of your own... maybe the fact that the pursuit may become too dangerous... that maybe too many people have died in this pursuit... I would then say... that if this "Hit and run" driver(bin laden) killed a bus of innocent school children(great deal of innocent people)... the chase "will not end" until he is apprehended...</strong><hr></blockquote>
I liken it more to this situation. Okay let's say there's they guy and the cops are after him. Only this guy like totally killed 4000 people and the country he's in refuses to give him over and in fact has been supporting his world wide band of thugs for years. Okay so like the cops say "hand him over or else we'll not only come in and get him but we'll end you ability to support these type of thugs in the future. " And then like that country doesn't do that so the cops go with the UN recognized government in that area a beat them and then go after the murderer and beat them too. Because the cops know the guy will never stop.
[quote]Originally posted by FERRO:
<strong>the only thing I fear is that as this chase goes on, each party may become more desperate to end it... I hope against hope that there is no use of any "Mass Destruction Weapons"... </strong><hr></blockquote>
Oh yea because the US has been so careless with those in the past.
<strong>I'm sick of these assholes hiding behind our trust and good will. I am not interested in after-the-fact solutions to terrorism. Preventative "medicine" seems like a good approach, and Bin Laden has been a highly likely source for terrorism, and, lest we forget, connected to previous acts of terrorism against the US anyway. Besides, US courts do not define "beyond a reasonable doubt" as catching the guy red-handed. It's plenty for an indictment alone.
If you're waiting for more bad shit to happen so you can catch him red-handed, you're going to let more shit happen.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Oh come on! Osama is a nice guy! He doesn't want anything bad to happen to the US!
<strong>Even if the tape is genuine, even if Bin Laden had blatantly stated that he was the one who planned, funded, organized, whatevered the events of 9/11, that proves nothing! Every time something horrible happens a terrorist group claims responsibility for it, sometimes more than one. More often than not, it's discovered that they actually had nothing to do with it and were just trying to get some free publicity. Until we have actual hard evidence that Bin Laden was responsible, all these video tapes are really nothing but hearsay and completely insubstantial.</strong><hr></blockquote>
One major thing wrong with your proof issue and one minor thing. The major thing is that ALL the exidence so far has pointed to Osama being responsible. This is not the only evidence, it is just the most damning. The minor problem is that it cannot be called heresay as it is a direct quote of the person on video. It may be a lie (I don't think so) but it is not heresay.
And for those who think why would this tape get out? Well, I think that tose who had it saw which way the wind was blowing and leaked it. Besides, Osama believes he is fighting "Allah's War" and so as such is untouchable. Why not parade around the fact that you did it to show that you are not afraid of the reprecussions?
A writer to the Los Angeles Times posted this letter. I read it, then re-read it, and frowned. And frowned again, and again.
Here is is, verbatim:
[quote]The bin Laden transcript states: "We were at (inaudible) when the event took place. We had notification since the previous Thursday that the event would take place that day".. Note he says, "we had notification since the previous Thursday".
Who is "we", and more important, who provided that notification? Who picked the date? Since 9-11 is highly symbolic and bin Laden was merely informed, who really co-ordinated this? A bigger mastermind? A co-conspirator of higher authority? Was bin Laden just the "banker and co-conspirator"?<hr></blockquote>
Just what the hell is bin Laden saying here? Why hasn't anyone picked up on this up until now? It's too inconvenient and doesn't quite fit? If the government's translation is correct, as we have been repeatedly assured, then it sounds suspiciously to me that bin Laden did not plan the date of the attack, did not give the order to attack and perhaps did not even conceive the idea.
Yes yes yes, before everyone joins in a chorus of "spoilsport", we all now know that he was privy to the attack before it happened, but his description of the amount of expected damage doesn't necessarily mean he planned it, only perhaps that knowing several days in advance, he was estimating the damage on account of his engineering and construction knowledge.
This doesn't take away from his guilt, because even if this was not of his actual doing and planning, he is still an accessory. Not only that, he is guilty as all hell for planning the bombing of those US embassies in Africa, as well as other terrorist actions. Who else is involved here? Dammit!!!! To whom is bin Laden answering? What would be the the reaction by officials if questioned on this point? We just lost 4000 innocent Americans here, and $100billion damage to Manhattan and the Pantagon, dammit. What is the feeling here? Is anyone bothered by the possibility that there may be parties even more evil (if that is possible) than the one who, for 4000 reasons, we all love to hate?
[quote]Originally posted by Samantha Joanne Ollendale:
<strong>Just what the hell is bin Laden saying here? Why hasn't anyone picked up on this up until now? It's too inconvenient and doesn't quite fit? If the government's translation is correct, as we have been repeatedly assured, then it sounds suspiciously to me that bin Laden did not plan the date of the attack, did not give the order to attack and perhaps did not even conceive the idea. </strong><hr></blockquote>
You're an idiot. "We" is bin Laden and his top people. That Egyptian doctor and the others. You think they send Atta out and say, "okay 36 months from now, on Sept 11th, do this". No. They say, "go to Germany and start a cell", "go the US and train to fly" "hold up there and meet these other peopel" "when you are ready do it" Then Atta sends the message back that the 11th is the date. Of couse bin Laden didn't plan the date of the attack. You think he's on ****ing PriceLine.com picking out flights?
You're an idiot. "We" is bin Laden and his top people. That Egyptian doctor and the others. You think they send Atta out and say, "okay 36 months from now, on Sept 11th, do this". No. They say, "go to Germany and start a cell", "go the US and train to fly" "hold up there and meet these other peopel" "when you are ready do it" Then Atta sends the message back that the 11th is the date. Of couse bin Laden didn't plan the date of the attack. You think he's on ****ing PriceLine.com picking out flights?
[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Scott H. ]</strong><hr></blockquote>
Scott H, your response is so yawningly predictable.
Just who who gave the orders, who authorized these attacks and who notified bin Laden when these attacks were going to happen? I hope to hell we find them. I would like to see all these jerks rounded up and dealt with in the most severe fashion possible (according to civilized justice), including the "bogeyman celebrity" of course. Are you telling me that perhaps you don't want to acknowledge the possibility of other, equally responsibly parties? Jeez
<strong>Predictable because it makes the most sense. Boring because a 5 year old could figure it out. Why couldn't you?</strong><hr></blockquote>
In this case I am with Samantha partly. (wow, that felt weird ) I am not disputing that Bin Laden was the driving force behind the whole attack. Death is too quick a punishment for him. But those who were involved in the whole chain should be hunted down and strung up as well. The only way to stop it is to uproot the whole chain. And then be diligent and not turn a blind eye when they start poking up again.
The Qatar-based al Jazeera satellite channel has just released its own translation of the Osama bin Laden tape:
Osama bin Laden: Sulayman. Sorry I'm late. I couldn't find a parking space.
Sheik Sulayman: Tell me about it. I had to park in a bomb crater.
Osama bin Laden: Allah be praised. Every time I stick my head out for some air, they drop a 15,000-pound bomb. My chickens haven't laid an egg since mid-October. Will someone please tell me why the Americans are doing this?
Suleman Abu Guaith: Hel-lo? To please the Zionists.
Osama bin Laden: I had this dream.
Sheik Sulayman: Me too [inaudible] episode of "Baywatch."
Osama bin Laden: Not that kind of dream. I was in Neiman Marcus, the satanic department store, trying to buy a white player piano. And they wouldn't take Visa. Fortunately, I had the American Express Platinum Card.
Sheik Sulayman: Allah be praised. So what have you been up to lately, O Evil One? Kidding.
Osama bin Laden: Say, where are the brothers? Where's Mohamed of the Egyptian family?
Suleman Abu Guaith: [to Sheik Sulayman] Um, you want to tell him?
Sheik Sulayman: Mohamed was on that plane that crashed into the building in New York.
Osama bin Laden: That boy was like a son to me. Where are you going with this?
Sheik Sulayman: What can I tell you? He got on in Boston. He wanted to see Disneyland. Next thing we know, the plane crashes into that building. It was obviously a Mossad operation. You know the Israelis told the Jews who worked in the towers not to go to work that day.
Suleman Abu Guaith: [deleted] Zionists.
Osama bin Laden: So that's what all this is about. The carpet bombing, the pamphlets, the $25 million reward--by the way, don't get any ideas, you two--drone planes, commandos. Someone might have told me.
Suleman Abu Guaith: We didn't want to upset you. It was a terrible thing, those planes.
Osama bin Laden: One's heart goes out to the families.
Suleman Abu Guaith: What about the families of the brothers on board? There were 19 young Muslim men on those planes. In the prime of life. Mohamed's father--the Cairo lawyer--is taking it pretty hard. The worst part is the lies the Americans are spreading. That his son was the quote-unquote head terrorist.
Osama bin Laden: [spits up tea] Mohamed? Mohamed Atta? Puh-leeze. You couldn't get him on a plane unless you poured a fifth of Jack Daniels into him.
Sheik Sulayman: [loud noise] Whoa. What was that?
Suleman Abu Guaith: [deleted] Daisy Cutter. Wish we had those.
Osama bin Laden: [humming to self] In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. .Â*.Â*. Well, this is completely unacceptable, this war the Americans and Zionists have proclaimed upon Islam.
Suleman Abu Guaith: So what are we going to do about it?
Osama bin Laden: The same thing that we have been doing for the past 1,000 years, since the infidel first defiled our holy places.
Sheik Sulayman: I know someone who went to school with a guy whose uncle knows someone who makes anthrax. We couldÂ*.Â*.Â*.
Osama bin Laden: Shame on you, Sulay. You know that poison chemicals and radioactive bombs and murdering innocents are not our way. This is not the way of Islam.
Sheik Sulayman: Kidding. Jeez Louise, have we lost our sense of humor? Have we been living in a cave too long?
Osama bin Laden: We must fight back with prayer and dialogue and understanding.
Suleman Abu Guaith: Bo-ring. Whatever.
Osama bin Laden: I had a dream.
Suleman Abu Guaith: [to Sheik Sulayman] Another dream?
Sheik Sulayman: [to Suleman Abu Guaith] Oy. Humor him.
Osama bin Laden: I was trying to get the enormous player piano into the elevator and people were not helping and suddenly the piano began playing [shudders] Hanukkah muzak. It was very unpleasant. I pressed the P-4 button and was in the elevator going down for the longest time and the doors opened and there were these flames everywhere and the sign said "Hell Level Parking."
Sheik Sulayman: Beam me up, Scotty.
Osama bin Laden: Fortunately I was able to interpret it correctly. It means that I am going to heaven.
Suleman Abu Guaith: Allah be praised.
Mr. Buckley is editor of Forbes FYI. His new novel, "No Way to Treat a First Lady," will be published next year by Random House.
"We calculated that the floors that would be hit would be three or four floors; I was the most optimistic of them all.
"Due to my experience in this field, I was thinking that the fire from the gas in the plane would melt the iron structure of the building and collapse the area where the plane hit and all the floors above it only. This was all that we had hoped for."
Any of you prudent, well-thought-out types who've spent three months sitting on your hands and calling for "evidence" and "not rushing to judgement" like to comment now?
I hope someone kills this gloating, warped cocksucker.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Yeah, P. But there are still plenty of Peaceniks out there who DON'T CARE that he did this. Even now, even after this. And I just read in USA Today this morning how the fact that the Bush Administration is "selectively" releasing tapes amounts to some kind of conspiracy. WHAT?????
Wanna know why they took so long with this tape? To make sure that they didn't trigger any cells accidentally. Some folks haven't really thought this whole "War" thingy through yet. There's NO WAY they should release any others, after the reaction this one got.
Wanna know why they said "we've got him surrounded" last week? To see if it triggered any sleepers or inactive cells. Betcha.
Comments
I'm rather tired with the "Arab Street". It's a street full of psychopathic morons. ****ing God could come down and tell them that yes in fact bin Laden planned it all. They would call God a liar.
Someone remind me why we give money to Egypt? Oh yea, were ****ing stupid.
<strong>Even if the tape is genuine, even if Bin Laden had blatantly stated that he was the one who planned, funded, organized, whatevered the events of 9/11, that proves nothing! Every time something horrible happens a terrorist group claims responsibility for it, sometimes more than one. More often than not, it's discovered that they actually had nothing to do with it and were just trying to get some free publicity. Until we have actual hard evidence that Bin Laden was responsible, all these video tapes are really nothing but hearsay and completely insubstantial.</strong><hr></blockquote>
I can't believe some of you people.
I as an average citizen have no access to relevant information... only what is told to me... wether by "media at large" or the pentagon...
I do not know wether what I see is true or doctored, I do not think it is... but still most if not almost all of us are out of the real information loop because of neccessity...
With hundreds of oppinions and tainted viewpoints, etc... Alot of people are 100% sure that they know axactly whats going on... even though they have only the same to go on as I do...
the point is he is a mojor suspect and he will be captured or killed while resisting... I can only compare this to a police chase... If you pulled over for being suspect of even running a red light... and you push the "pedal to the metal" and drive a 101mph passed innocent people... endangering there lives and yours... youre going to "Get It" regardless of whether or not you commited any real crime... "you have made a bad situation, Worse". Hundreds if not thousands have died as a result of the "chase" pursiut of bin laden... and he continues to endanger innocent lives...
Now you could come back at me with a corralation of your own... maybe the fact that the pursuit may become too dangerous... that maybe too many people have died in this pursuit... I would then say... that if this "Hit and run" driver(bin laden) killed a bus of innocent school children(great deal of innocent people)... the chase "will not end" until he is apprehended...
the only thing I fear is that as this chase goes on, each party may become more desperate to end it... I hope against hope that there is no use of any "Mass Destruction Weapons"... bin laden as I am told has said he would only use them if they were used against him... but the first thing that comes to my mind... is... never trust the word of a bad guy...
I personally hope this all comes to a GOOD abrupt end soon...
E PLURIBUS UNIX
-----------------------------
If you're waiting for more bad shit to happen so you can catch him red-handed, you're going to let more shit happen.
<strong>
the point is he is a mojor suspect and he will be captured or killed while resisting... I can only compare this to a police chase... If you pulled over for being suspect of even running a red light... and you push the "pedal to the metal" and drive a 101mph passed innocent people... endangering there lives and yours... youre going to "Get It" regardless of whether or not you commited any real crime... "you have made a bad situation, Worse". Hundreds if not thousands have died as a result of the "chase" pursiut of bin laden... and he continues to endanger innocent lives...
Now you could come back at me with a corralation of your own... maybe the fact that the pursuit may become too dangerous... that maybe too many people have died in this pursuit... I would then say... that if this "Hit and run" driver(bin laden) killed a bus of innocent school children(great deal of innocent people)... the chase "will not end" until he is apprehended...</strong><hr></blockquote>
I liken it more to this situation. Okay let's say there's they guy and the cops are after him. Only this guy like totally killed 4000 people and the country he's in refuses to give him over and in fact has been supporting his world wide band of thugs for years. Okay so like the cops say "hand him over or else we'll not only come in and get him but we'll end you ability to support these type of thugs in the future. " And then like that country doesn't do that so the cops go with the UN recognized government in that area a beat them and then go after the murderer and beat them too. Because the cops know the guy will never stop.
[quote]Originally posted by FERRO:
<strong>the only thing I fear is that as this chase goes on, each party may become more desperate to end it... I hope against hope that there is no use of any "Mass Destruction Weapons"... </strong><hr></blockquote>
Oh yea because the US has been so careless with those in the past.
<strong>I'm sick of these assholes hiding behind our trust and good will. I am not interested in after-the-fact solutions to terrorism. Preventative "medicine" seems like a good approach, and Bin Laden has been a highly likely source for terrorism, and, lest we forget, connected to previous acts of terrorism against the US anyway. Besides, US courts do not define "beyond a reasonable doubt" as catching the guy red-handed. It's plenty for an indictment alone.
If you're waiting for more bad shit to happen so you can catch him red-handed, you're going to let more shit happen.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Oh come on! Osama is a nice guy! He doesn't want anything bad to happen to the US!
I didnt mean that we (US) would use a nuke...
What I meant was I wouldnt put it passed bin laden to just initiate a sleeper agent to set off a "dirty nuke" becuase he is loosing the war...
E PLURIBUS UNIX
-----------------------------
[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: FERRO ]</p>
<strong>Even if the tape is genuine, even if Bin Laden had blatantly stated that he was the one who planned, funded, organized, whatevered the events of 9/11, that proves nothing! Every time something horrible happens a terrorist group claims responsibility for it, sometimes more than one. More often than not, it's discovered that they actually had nothing to do with it and were just trying to get some free publicity. Until we have actual hard evidence that Bin Laden was responsible, all these video tapes are really nothing but hearsay and completely insubstantial.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Well you and <a href="http://www.nationalpost.com/search/story.html?f=/stories/200112"; target="_blank">Alan Dershowitz</a> are on the same page anyhow.
One major thing wrong with your proof issue and one minor thing. The major thing is that ALL the exidence so far has pointed to Osama being responsible. This is not the only evidence, it is just the most damning. The minor problem is that it cannot be called heresay as it is a direct quote of the person on video. It may be a lie (I don't think so) but it is not heresay.
And for those who think why would this tape get out? Well, I think that tose who had it saw which way the wind was blowing and leaked it. Besides, Osama believes he is fighting "Allah's War" and so as such is untouchable. Why not parade around the fact that you did it to show that you are not afraid of the reprecussions?
GUILTY!
Here is is, verbatim:
[quote]The bin Laden transcript states: "We were at (inaudible) when the event took place. We had notification since the previous Thursday that the event would take place that day".. Note he says, "we had notification since the previous Thursday".
Who is "we", and more important, who provided that notification? Who picked the date? Since 9-11 is highly symbolic and bin Laden was merely informed, who really co-ordinated this? A bigger mastermind? A co-conspirator of higher authority? Was bin Laden just the "banker and co-conspirator"?<hr></blockquote>
Just what the hell is bin Laden saying here? Why hasn't anyone picked up on this up until now? It's too inconvenient and doesn't quite fit? If the government's translation is correct, as we have been repeatedly assured, then it sounds suspiciously to me that bin Laden did not plan the date of the attack, did not give the order to attack and perhaps did not even conceive the idea.
Yes yes yes, before everyone joins in a chorus of "spoilsport", we all now know that he was privy to the attack before it happened, but his description of the amount of expected damage doesn't necessarily mean he planned it, only perhaps that knowing several days in advance, he was estimating the damage on account of his engineering and construction knowledge.
This doesn't take away from his guilt, because even if this was not of his actual doing and planning, he is still an accessory. Not only that, he is guilty as all hell for planning the bombing of those US embassies in Africa, as well as other terrorist actions. Who else is involved here? Dammit!!!! To whom is bin Laden answering? What would be the the reaction by officials if questioned on this point? We just lost 4000 innocent Americans here, and $100billion damage to Manhattan and the Pantagon, dammit. What is the feeling here? Is anyone bothered by the possibility that there may be parties even more evil (if that is possible) than the one who, for 4000 reasons, we all love to hate?
What the ý?*?
<strong>Just what the hell is bin Laden saying here? Why hasn't anyone picked up on this up until now? It's too inconvenient and doesn't quite fit? If the government's translation is correct, as we have been repeatedly assured, then it sounds suspiciously to me that bin Laden did not plan the date of the attack, did not give the order to attack and perhaps did not even conceive the idea. </strong><hr></blockquote>
You're an idiot. "We" is bin Laden and his top people. That Egyptian doctor and the others. You think they send Atta out and say, "okay 36 months from now, on Sept 11th, do this". No. They say, "go to Germany and start a cell", "go the US and train to fly" "hold up there and meet these other peopel" "when you are ready do it" Then Atta sends the message back that the 11th is the date. Of couse bin Laden didn't plan the date of the attack. You think he's on ****ing PriceLine.com picking out flights?
[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Scott H. ]</p>
<strong>
You're an idiot. "We" is bin Laden and his top people. That Egyptian doctor and the others. You think they send Atta out and say, "okay 36 months from now, on Sept 11th, do this". No. They say, "go to Germany and start a cell", "go the US and train to fly" "hold up there and meet these other peopel" "when you are ready do it" Then Atta sends the message back that the 11th is the date. Of couse bin Laden didn't plan the date of the attack. You think he's on ****ing PriceLine.com picking out flights?
[ 12-17-2001: Message edited by: Scott H. ]</strong><hr></blockquote>
Scott H, your response is so yawningly predictable.
Just who who gave the orders, who authorized these attacks and who notified bin Laden when these attacks were going to happen? I hope to hell we find them. I would like to see all these jerks rounded up and dealt with in the most severe fashion possible (according to civilized justice), including the "bogeyman celebrity" of course. Are you telling me that perhaps you don't want to acknowledge the possibility of other, equally responsibly parties? Jeez
<strong>Predictable because it makes the most sense. Boring because a 5 year old could figure it out. Why couldn't you?</strong><hr></blockquote>
In this case I am with Samantha partly. (wow, that felt weird
<a href="http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=95001613"; target="_blank">Lost in Translation</a>
The Osama tape, as heard by Al Jazeera.
BY CHRISTOPHER BUCKLEY
Tuesday, December 18, 2001 12:01 a.m. EST
The Qatar-based al Jazeera satellite channel has just released its own translation of the Osama bin Laden tape:
Osama bin Laden: Sulayman. Sorry I'm late. I couldn't find a parking space.
Sheik Sulayman: Tell me about it. I had to park in a bomb crater.
Osama bin Laden: Allah be praised. Every time I stick my head out for some air, they drop a 15,000-pound bomb. My chickens haven't laid an egg since mid-October. Will someone please tell me why the Americans are doing this?
Suleman Abu Guaith: Hel-lo? To please the Zionists.
Osama bin Laden: I had this dream.
Sheik Sulayman: Me too [inaudible] episode of "Baywatch."
Osama bin Laden: Not that kind of dream. I was in Neiman Marcus, the satanic department store, trying to buy a white player piano. And they wouldn't take Visa. Fortunately, I had the American Express Platinum Card.
Sheik Sulayman: Allah be praised. So what have you been up to lately, O Evil One? Kidding.
Osama bin Laden: Say, where are the brothers? Where's Mohamed of the Egyptian family?
Suleman Abu Guaith: [to Sheik Sulayman] Um, you want to tell him?
Sheik Sulayman: Mohamed was on that plane that crashed into the building in New York.
Osama bin Laden: That boy was like a son to me. Where are you going with this?
Sheik Sulayman: What can I tell you? He got on in Boston. He wanted to see Disneyland. Next thing we know, the plane crashes into that building. It was obviously a Mossad operation. You know the Israelis told the Jews who worked in the towers not to go to work that day.
Suleman Abu Guaith: [deleted] Zionists.
Osama bin Laden: So that's what all this is about. The carpet bombing, the pamphlets, the $25 million reward--by the way, don't get any ideas, you two--drone planes, commandos. Someone might have told me.
Suleman Abu Guaith: We didn't want to upset you. It was a terrible thing, those planes.
Osama bin Laden: One's heart goes out to the families.
Suleman Abu Guaith: What about the families of the brothers on board? There were 19 young Muslim men on those planes. In the prime of life. Mohamed's father--the Cairo lawyer--is taking it pretty hard. The worst part is the lies the Americans are spreading. That his son was the quote-unquote head terrorist.
Osama bin Laden: [spits up tea] Mohamed? Mohamed Atta? Puh-leeze. You couldn't get him on a plane unless you poured a fifth of Jack Daniels into him.
Sheik Sulayman: [loud noise] Whoa. What was that?
Suleman Abu Guaith: [deleted] Daisy Cutter. Wish we had those.
Osama bin Laden: [humming to self] In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. .Â*.Â*. Well, this is completely unacceptable, this war the Americans and Zionists have proclaimed upon Islam.
Suleman Abu Guaith: So what are we going to do about it?
Osama bin Laden: The same thing that we have been doing for the past 1,000 years, since the infidel first defiled our holy places.
Sheik Sulayman: I know someone who went to school with a guy whose uncle knows someone who makes anthrax. We couldÂ*.Â*.Â*.
Osama bin Laden: Shame on you, Sulay. You know that poison chemicals and radioactive bombs and murdering innocents are not our way. This is not the way of Islam.
Sheik Sulayman: Kidding. Jeez Louise, have we lost our sense of humor? Have we been living in a cave too long?
Osama bin Laden: We must fight back with prayer and dialogue and understanding.
Suleman Abu Guaith: Bo-ring. Whatever.
Osama bin Laden: I had a dream.
Suleman Abu Guaith: [to Sheik Sulayman] Another dream?
Sheik Sulayman: [to Suleman Abu Guaith] Oy. Humor him.
Osama bin Laden: I was trying to get the enormous player piano into the elevator and people were not helping and suddenly the piano began playing [shudders] Hanukkah muzak. It was very unpleasant. I pressed the P-4 button and was in the elevator going down for the longest time and the doors opened and there were these flames everywhere and the sign said "Hell Level Parking."
Sheik Sulayman: Beam me up, Scotty.
Osama bin Laden: Fortunately I was able to interpret it correctly. It means that I am going to heaven.
Suleman Abu Guaith: Allah be praised.
Mr. Buckley is editor of Forbes FYI. His new novel, "No Way to Treat a First Lady," will be published next year by Random House.
<strong>
<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/12/13/ret.bin.laden.videotape/"; target="_blank">http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/12/13/ret.bin.laden.videotape/</a>;
<a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,40746,00.html"; target="_blank">http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,40746,00.html</a>;
Quote from transcript:
"We calculated that the floors that would be hit would be three or four floors; I was the most optimistic of them all.
"Due to my experience in this field, I was thinking that the fire from the gas in the plane would melt the iron structure of the building and collapse the area where the plane hit and all the floors above it only. This was all that we had hoped for."
Any of you prudent, well-thought-out types who've spent three months sitting on your hands and calling for "evidence" and "not rushing to judgement" like to comment now?
I hope someone kills this gloating, warped cocksucker.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Yeah, P. But there are still plenty of Peaceniks out there who DON'T CARE that he did this. Even now, even after this. And I just read in USA Today this morning how the fact that the Bush Administration is "selectively" releasing tapes amounts to some kind of conspiracy. WHAT?????
Wanna know why they took so long with this tape? To make sure that they didn't trigger any cells accidentally. Some folks haven't really thought this whole "War" thingy through yet. There's NO WAY they should release any others, after the reaction this one got.
Wanna know why they said "we've got him surrounded" last week? To see if it triggered any sleepers or inactive cells. Betcha.