Perpetual "World's Dumbest Headline" Thread

moogsmoogs
Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
Rule: use any headline from any newspaper, magazine cover, or news broadcast - EXCEPT tabloid publications and shows (obvious).



I'll start with Time Magazine's latest foray into the assinine:





"CAN BONO SAVE THE WORLD?"









[ 03-02-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ? ]</p>

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 11
    applenutapplenut Posts: 5,768member
    [quote]Originally posted by Moogs ?:

    <strong>Rule: use any headline from any newspaper, magazine cover, or news broadcast - EXCEPT tabloid publications and shows (obvious).



    I'll start with Time Magazine's latest foray into the assinine:





    "CAN BONO SAVE THE WORLD?"









    [ 03-02-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ? ]</strong><hr></blockquote>





    if that's the dumbest headline you have ever read then you don't read enough

    <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" />
  • Reply 2 of 11
    moogsmoogs Posts: 4,296member
    Prove it; show us something worse why dontcha? I should note (I thought it was self-evident) that the concept behind a headline is a big part of what makes said headline "dumb." *sigh*



    [ 03-02-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ? ]</p>
  • Reply 3 of 11
    artman @_@artman @_@ Posts: 2,546member
    My Top 20:

    Â*

    1.Â*Something Went Wrong in Plane Crash, Expert Says



    2.Â*Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers



    3.Â*Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures



    4.Â*Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted



    5.Â*Stud Tires Out



    6.Â*Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over



    7.Â*British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands



    8.Â*Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms



    9.Â*Eye Drops off Shelf



    10.Â*Teacher Strikes Idle Kids



    11.Â*Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead



    12.Â*War Dims Hope for Peace



    13.Â*Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim



    14.Â*Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66



    15.Â*Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax



    16.Â*Miners Refuse to Work after Death



    17.Â*Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant



    18.Â*Stolen Painting Found by Tree



    19.Â*Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years



    20.Â*Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
  • Reply 4 of 11
    jambojambo Posts: 3,036member
    This appeared in my local newspaper:



    Ayr man cut steak from dead cow in the river



    [quote] A desperate man tried to cut himself a steak from a dead cow which was trapped in the River Ayr. <hr></blockquote>



    And I always thought that I lived in a nice area.



    J
  • Reply 5 of 11
    andersanders Posts: 6,523member
    [quote]Originally posted by Jamie:

    <strong>

    And I always thought that I lived in a nice area.

    </strong><hr></blockquote>



    No joke: I once saw the police drag the body of a dead man out of river Clyde :eek:
  • Reply 6 of 11
    jambojambo Posts: 3,036member
    [quote]Originally posted by Anders:

    <strong>



    No joke: I once saw the police drag the body of a dead man out of river Clyde :eek: </strong><hr></blockquote>



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> That happens all the time in Glasgow! But a cow <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" />



    J
  • Reply 7 of 11
    ryanthegreatryanthegreat Posts: 359member
    "Gore Wins!"
  • Reply 8 of 11
    the toolboithe toolboi Posts: 557member
    "SPCA cheif probed!"
  • Reply 9 of 11
    brussellbrussell Posts: 9,812member
    These are relevant to the Abortion thread:











    [ 03-03-2002: Message edited by: BRussell ]</p>
  • Reply 10 of 11
    mr. satellitemr. satellite Posts: 33member
    Dude that is so easy-- go to MacSurfer the day after ANY MacWorld Keynote and you'll be sure to see the most annoying, dumbest headline in the entire world, in the form of:



    * APPLE OF *(POSSESSIVE) EYE



    For instance:

    New iMac is the Apple of my Eye

    New iMac the Apple of Jobs' Eye

    The Apple of my Eye

    To Jobs, New iMac is the Apple of His Eye

    ......

    ad nauseum, ad infinitum



    Really, can't something be done about this horrible bi-annual (at least) scourge on the Mac Media? How about a boycott, or DoS?
  • Reply 11 of 11
    moogsmoogs Posts: 4,296member
    That is pretty dumb. I think what we're seeing here is that there are really three categories of supreme headline "dumbness":



    1. Headlines that speak to clueless ideas, products or happenings.



    2. Headlines that speak to normal ideas, products and happenings, but do so in a really clueless way.



    3. Headlines that indicate the author doesn't know how to write (or at a minimum proofread).



    God Bless the free press, that's all I have to say.



    [ 03-04-2002: Message edited by: Moogs ? ]</p>
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