Chicks and Geeks
Do chicks really like geeks? I mean, since becoming a geek back in '96, my life has drastically changed... How does a geek pick up chicks? *sigh* sometimes it's so hard! i've not had a girlfriend since '96... thats when i discovered an AS400 at my dads office along with various macs....*sigh*.... 2 weeks later i got dumped because "i didnt care about the relationship blah blah" what's a geek to do?? <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
Comments
She's cute, *and* she knows how to program in C! ;-) At any rate, spend less time in front of a computer, more time doing something more social. I used to date a girl on my high school cycling team. We both shaved our legs, it was an instant connection! ;-)
Then spend a bunch of money on games.
Spend a BUNCH of time playing them, going to LAN parties etc. You could also hang out at web forums. Sites like Ars Technica don't have many girls, but the guys there could probably give you some good tips on how to make a female submit to you.
This will give you a nice pasty complexion. If you're lucky your eyes will start to get a little buggish looking and the muscles in your arms will start to become atrophied. Well, your finger and wrist muscles might bulge, but you'll be really quick on the number keypad, and this is a plus.
Or, you can do some other lame things that you could use your computer as a 'center' for (warning: these things may force you into prolonged exposure to sunlight). Say, for example, you took up an interest in photography, or filmography, or even music. Heck, maybe you could get into biology and spend some time in the park. Girls are in parks sometimes. Maybe you could spend less time on the computer, but still be a geek - maybe using some of your brain for other sciences/arts...just a thought. Maybe you could build a bicycle? It's more difficult than a PC, and requires exertion to get peformance out of - afterall, you're the engine.
Better yet. Build a woman. A perfect woman. Preferably modular so that you could replace/upgrade certain parts as they wore out and/or became obsolete.
If you want to meet a real flesh girl though, you're just going to have to get out of the house and into society, I'm afraid. It's scary at first but it can be done. That or hang out on internet chat forums with a name like Sexy Fireman or Dark Wizard or something. I hear that works sometimes.
*tongue planted in cheek*
[ 04-01-2002: Message edited by: seb ]</p>
[ 04-01-2002: Message edited by: radar1503 ]</p>
Now I tell them that I'm an "Unemployed Web Designer"...hey, where'd she go? ... <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" />
<strong>.*sigh*.... 2 weeks later i got dumped because "i didnt care about the relationship blah blah" what's a geek to do?? <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>
Solution:
<img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
And the fast sports car helps too.
<a href="http://www.mtbreview.com/" target="_blank">www.mtbreview.com/</a>
Bikes have all the essentials for being geeked out on - exotic metals, space age polymers, gears, geometry, speed, aerodynamics, specs, baffling jargon (chain suck anyone?) etc...
And, you can even bolt on a digital LCD readout!
It's Spring, no better time to geek out on a bike. Having bike parts strewn out across your room is much cooler than having a computer case with blinking LEDs hanging out of it anyways.
Not only will chicks dig the way you look, they'll probably be nice looking themselves. A definite plus.
[ 04-01-2002: Message edited by: seb ]</p>
girls are high mantaince things. Kinda like my computer....but id much rather spend my time tweaking my iMac than i would a girl.
And all those MIND GAMES that they play!!! AHH!!
yes means no, no means yes....
BAH! nothing but a head ache
i get one just thinking about them...
EDIT: "....but id much rather spend my time tweaking my iMac than i would a girl." I just realized how hilarious that sounds
[ 04-01-2002: Message edited by: gumby5647 ]</p>
<strong>And the fast sports car helps too.</strong><hr></blockquote>
no, it doesn't... i knew this kid in high school with a camaro ss... what a waste of a car, even if it was just a camaro... although he was more of a nerd than a geek...
<strong>... How does a geek pick up chicks? *sigh* </strong><hr></blockquote>
[cheap joke]
Well, you could always tell her how big your Hard Drive is.
[/cheap joke]
<strong>
no, it doesn't... i knew this kid in high school with a camaro ss... what a waste of a car, even if it was just a camaro... although he was more of a nerd than a geek...</strong><hr></blockquote>
Yes it does. The car isn't going to make you fabio, but it's a way to get noticed. If you do it right, the sports car is a bonus. It's just another thing for people to know you by, and it's cool. (Plus I love sports cars, and would AutoCross if I had more money)
So if you are good when noticed, then the sports car is helpful. Everyone always looks. Plus, when a bunch of people (friends) are going some place, everyone wants to ride with you, and you get to pick who comes. Then it becomes the art of making it seem like you don't care who rides with you.
Anyway, you can be a geek, you just have to have style. It's not geekiness that is unattractive. Most people actually like to hear about all of your geeky stuff, so long as it's brief. I mean, if you're really into bagpipes and I'm not (and I'm a geek) I'm still not going to want to hear you talk endlessly about bagpipes, but a little is fine - even good conversation. So for the same reason I don't babble about rotary engines and electrical engineering in the company of people who dig other things.
And for the men: if it's like pulling teeth, find someone else!
for example get cool clothign nice glasses comb your hair, etc and act purfectly normal only show off your amazing wizdom of computers when some ones computer gets screwed up.
<strong>I am a stealth geek, myself, only more of a slacker type than the slick-haired suave type. Most people I know are genuinely shocked when they find out I'm a computer nerd (do they think I'm stupid? maybe).</strong><hr></blockquote>
et voila.
except i'm not slick haired.
[ 04-01-2002: Message edited by: Anders ]</p>
I can stay in front of a computer all day... but then when a friend or a party crops up (Friday Saturday night or whenever) I detach from the computer world and take a while to get into party mood (a couple Jack Cokes or beers do help) and off I go. Chicks seem to dig me so I don't complain.
Plus, there is no denying that when all these people have Mac and PC problems... who do they end up calling? Yep, me.
Just don't get lost behind the security of your computer. If afriends says "hey, lets go out" GO!. If no one does call you anymore to go out because you have been labeled as 'geek' and have always turned down outings, then YOU call up a few friends and ask whats up and if they want to go out. If its been a while since you've gone out, it will take a few outings for you to get used to 'normal' life. Just keep going out and meet people (real ones) again. Be pro-active. Go. Now. NOW DAMN YOU.
After this, go hang out at Ars Technia forums for a while, and read up on overclocking. Invest in a good soldering iron and all the other supplies needed to overclock your new Wintel.
Next, and this is very important, you must overclock your Wintel so that it has the highest clockspeed of any Wintel you know of. Make sure it's the fastest. Tweak it just right. And don't forget to install a cooling system that you designed yourself. Liquid cooling is the prefered method, and make sure that sucker is LOUD, it should sound like a jet engine on full afterburner. That way you know it's really efficient.
Now that you've got an overclocked, custom cooled Wintel, the next step is to brag about it. To do this, you're going to need some benchmarks. The best benchmark you can use is Quake 3, but this also presents another problem: you must buy the fastest gaming video card available, and you must overclock that video card like you did your CPU! Liquid cool that sucker to get the most out of overclocking it.
Now you're ready. Fire up Quake 3 and begin running benchmarks. Tweak your system for optimal Quake 3 FPS. Load it up with RAM, crank up the cooling system, and keep tweaking your CPU. You will find that with top cooling system efficiency, your CPU can be clocked to astronomical speeds. Another thing to remember is that your system doesn't need to be rock solid. An overclock that holds for a good 20 minutes is fine...as long as you can log reliable quake 3 benchmarks, and show the computer off to your friends (if you have any left at this point).
By now you're Wintel system will be the fastest of anyone you know. It will be the darling of IT geeks and Windows drones. Gamers will pop boners at the sight of it. But don't stop there...get yourself familiarized with the Windows system registry, because you're going to need to "fine tune" your Windows system periodically. Every week or two should do it.
With such a fast computer, you should be ballin' chicks on a regular basis. Why? WHY?
Because size matters. And if you've got such a fast computer, with the MOST GHz of anyone else, well, chicks will put 2 and 2 together and it wont be long before they realize the magnitude of what your packin' between your legs.
Now every 3-4 months Intel unleashes a new batch of even FASTER CPUs. It's going to be your duty to stay on top, keep your system tweaked and running with the best of the best. Get those GHz up and you'll be getting something else UP on a regular basis!
GHz: men fear it, chicks dig it.
[ 04-01-2002: Message edited by: Junkyard Dawg ]</p>
Next step: After you've got an overclocked beast of a Wintel computer, the next step is to "overclock" yourself. It's easier than you think.
First off: geeks tend to dress horribly. They don't care about clothes, so they just throw on jeans and a t-shirt. Well that's not going to get you any chicks!
Begin going to the mall on a regular basis (2-3 times per week). Hang out and watch people. Notice the guys with lots of chicks, and dig how they dress. Now, stalk these guys to find out where they shop. I can already tell you this much: the GAP and Abercrombie and Fitch are good places to start. Buy some nice outfits, spend at least $200 per outfit, if not more. Women can tell if you're wearing quality clothes, and they are drawn to finely tailored threads as sure as snow.
Get a haircut. See a doc about removing that mole from your chin. And last but not least, buy some cologne! Wear it liberally, every day, so you're always prepared to meet chicks!
Finally, you must not forget that your car is an extension of yourself. It's like clothing, but even more important. And what car puts out the vibe of a MAN with a big COCK? Why, an SUV, of course! Obviously, the bigger the better.
So ditch that Honda Civic you drive because it gets 50 mpg and you care about the environment. Woman couldn't care less about some tree-hugger. They want a MAN who's gonna spend money on diamonds rooted from the soil by slave labor in environmentally threatened climes.
Get the biggest SUV you can afford. A BMW or Mercedes is nice, but if you don't have the cash, just go for size. Lease it if you have to, mortgage your house if you must, but get that SUV. It's the final piece to your new look.
And if it's chilly out, don't forget to wear Northface. Those old sweatshirts have gotta go.