Chicks and Geeks

245

Comments

  • Reply 21 of 84
    As always, perfectly sound advice from JDY. What a service to this community...



  • Reply 22 of 84
    junkyard dawgjunkyard dawg Posts: 2,801member
    Part III, how to get chicks as a geek.



    Well you've now got the uberfast computer. You've got the threads, you've got the wheels to put out the vibe. But there is one more part to this make-over that we must attend to.



    You MUST exude importance, and the way to do that is by arming yourself with a plethora of electronic gadgets and gizmos. In other words, you will need a cell phone, a PDA, an MP3 player, a portable HD, and a laptop. Carry these with you at all times, and be sure they are continually alerting others to your importance. This means:



    1. You will receive phone calls every 10-15 minutes. If you don't talk on the phone this often, then pay someone to call you continually.



    2. Get busy with lots of appointments, and have your PDA constantly beep in rhythm to your busy lifestyle. If you aren't really so busy, that's fine, just make up lots of appointments and meetings for your PDA every morning. Also, make sure your PDA can give you stock quotes. It's ok if you don't have any stocks, but you MUST make others think that you DO have stocks, and many of them. Look up stocks whenever you have a few minutes to burn.



    3. Be paged, and often. Nothing gets a woman's blood flowing like a man who's constantly in demand, who's needed by others, i.e., a man who is PAGED all the time. Don't set the pager to vibrator mode, that defeates the purpose. Set to beep, and LOUD. Go to seminars and let that beeping sucker interrupt the speaker. After all, it's YOU who's important. When paged, this gives you a chance to use your cell phone. Be mindful of point 1, stay on that phone often. If no one is on the line with you, then talk anyways. You can spend the night before planning out your side to important conversations you will have on your cell phone the next day.





    Follow the advice in this post and the previous two, and you will be well on your way to acheiving babe magnate status. Buy some new sheets, because you're going to need them! But don't worry if your sheets aren't silk--by the time you're nailing a chick in your own bed, she's already yours. Just make sure that sex is interrupted by your pager. Answer the page, act serious, like you're needed. Then go back to bed, "Where were we, baby?"
  • Reply 23 of 84
    junkyard dawgjunkyard dawg Posts: 2,801member
    Starfleet, listen up! This could help you, too. I must admit, you know computers and software very well, like a guru, but you have a few things to learn about chicks. I'm here to school ya and if you don't want my free advice, then don't read it. But after Lobrassoh is knee-deep in pussy, I know you'll be archiving this thread on your very own HD. Meantime, enjoy!





    For those geeks who want to get lots of chicks:



    I'd like to add one more bit of advice. This may be last, but it is not the least by any means. It is your duty, your act of self-saving grace that will bring you chicks like you've never dreamed of.



    You must buy...a puppy.



    Don't matter what breed, just be sure that it's a small, young puppy, NOT a dog, but a cute little puppy. Big brown eyes, soft fur, and CUTE! Walk that dog like it's your life. Let it jump up on chick's a little bit to get their attention, then pull it off them. Train it to look cute. Give it a cute name. Learn how to hold it like a baby. This puppy is your homing beacon for chicks. They will flock to your puppy, and they will want to know about its master.



    As soon as the puppy grows into a DOG, ditch it at the pound and replace it with another puppy. Repeat until you're knee-deep in pussy.



    Good luck!
  • Reply 24 of 84
    wrong robotwrong robot Posts: 3,907member
    hmmm lately I've been having some problems getting with anyone...however if I was so inclined I could just call my ex up and say "you know what....we should go out again" and since she is obsessed with me she'd say sure, but I don't want to do that cause its not very nice(then I'm the schitzo(sp?)

    I am definatly a geek, I'm a super mac dork computer geek, and a mega mega star-wars nerd(though I'm not one for the expanded universe I prefer strictly what I can see in the movies)

    but I'm also a super cool bassist/rapper/dj/producer guy that everyone admires...so I guess I a little of both worlds, however I'm still single



    when I construct my first robot you can bet it will be a girl...* erp * I said to much-
  • Reply 25 of 84
    Wrong Robot, do you read Bukowski? Ever read "The Fu[k Machine"? LOL, your post reminded me of it.



    Anyhow, you're respect for your ex's feelings is noble and it is unfortunate that more people aren't as cool as you are to women. One would think that OTHER women would see that in you, but the ugly truth is that women are often attracted to players who care about as much for their woman's feelings as they do for a t-bone steak's feelings.



    After you read my posts and follow the instructions as closely as possible, may I offer you advice? This goes for all the "geeks" here:



    Embrace your geekdome. Be proud of it. It is important to realize, that women who ignore us because we are "geeks" are doing us a favor! It is a favor because we don't want to be with a person who's superficial, boring, and easily impressed by guys who care only about conforming to society's consumerist ideals. "Feel down? Want people to respect you? Then you need to buy item X, to drive car Y, and to wear item Z.



    We are geeks because we don't conform, and that is a virtue! Think of it as such! It's ok to be a bit elitist, as long as it doesn't lead to arrogance. We don't conform because we are too creative, too intelligent, to strive for such shallow goals. It would bore us to no end.



    We geeks need companions who are like us, and unfortunately women like that are difficult to find. But they are out there, and the wait is always worth it. When you find a woman who loves to talk about music and literature, to program in C++, to go to Mac expos, then the wait is all worth it. And trust me, such a woman is far more exciting and sexually arousing than some leggy bimbo who's into clothes, shopping, and TV.



    I think us "geeks" should all pat ourselves on the back for being who we are, and for resisting the urge to change in order to please others. We are better and we deserve better, so we sometimes have to wait a bit longer to find the right woman. But in the end it's geeks who shape and mold our society, through music, art, literature, technology, science, and philosophy. Remember the importance of originality and steadfast adherence to one's own identity in an age where conformity is valued above all else.



    <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
  • Reply 26 of 84
    splinemodelsplinemodel Posts: 7,311member
    Actually, I can imagine the phone thing working to some extent, but the windows computer doesn't mean shit, and gawd, SUV's are SO 90's. . .



    Other than the obvious sarcasm, I sense a lot or bitterment in the Dawg's posts. . . Sounds like someone know all about getting snubbed.



    <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
  • Reply 27 of 84
    [quote]Originally posted by Splinemodel:

    <strong> and gawd, SUV's are SO 90's. . .</strong><hr></blockquote>So true!

    Everyone knows the Unimog is the Next Big Thing?.







    Gas mileage and utter sexiness are inversely proportional!
  • Reply 28 of 84
    splinemodelsplinemodel Posts: 7,311member
    [quote]Originally posted by starfleetX:

    <strong>So true!

    Everyone knows the Unimog is the Next Big Thing?.



    [image snip]



    Gas mileage and utter sexiness are inversely proportional! </strong><hr></blockquote>



    Guh. . . looks almost as bad as Unicum. When you guys reach drinking age (or on your next trip to the liquor store) pick up some Unicum. It's handy to have around, at least.



    - One of the few things I can't stomach.
  • Reply 29 of 84
    wrong robotwrong robot Posts: 3,907member
    [quote]Originally posted by Junkyard Dawg:

    <strong>Wrong Robot, do you read Bukowski? Ever read "The Fu[k Machine"? LOL, your post reminded me of it.



    Anyhow, you're respect for your ex's feelings is noble and it is unfortunate that more people aren't as cool as you are to women. One would think that OTHER women would see that in you, but the ugly truth is that women are often attracted to players who care about as much for their woman's feelings as they do for a t-bone steak's feelings.



    After you read my posts and follow the instructions as closely as possible, may I offer you advice? This goes for all the "geeks" here:



    Embrace your geekdome. Be proud of it. It is important to realize, that women who ignore us because we are "geeks" are doing us a favor! It is a favor because we don't want to be with a person who's superficial, boring, and easily impressed by guys who care only about conforming to society's consumerist ideals. "Feel down? Want people to respect you? Then you need to buy item X, to drive car Y, and to wear item Z.



    We are geeks because we don't conform, and that is a virtue! Think of it as such! It's ok to be a bit elitist, as long as it doesn't lead to arrogance. We don't conform because we are too creative, too intelligent, to strive for such shallow goals. It would bore us to no end.



    We geeks need companions who are like us, and unfortunately women like that are difficult to find. But they are out there, and the wait is always worth it. When you find a woman who loves to talk about music and literature, to program in C++, to go to Mac expos, then the wait is all worth it. And trust me, such a woman is far more exciting and sexually arousing than some leggy bimbo who's into clothes, shopping, and TV.



    I think us "geeks" should all pat ourselves on the back for being who we are, and for resisting the urge to change in order to please others. We are better and we deserve better, so we sometimes have to wait a bit longer to find the right woman. But in the end it's geeks who shape and mold our society, through music, art, literature, technology, science, and philosophy. Remember the importance of originality and steadfast adherence to one's own identity in an age where conformity is valued above all else.



    <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>



    Oh I embrace my geekdome alright..I'm totally proud of the fact I could succesfully arugue WHY a powerpc g4 is superior to a 2.2 ghz p4 clock by clock also why firewire is kickass and why USB 2 is just intels way of say "we're cool too" when it really doesn't amount to much of anything(other than utter shit...which is a gross concept if you think about it...uttter...shit....yuck)



    I am a total star wars nerd adn I am 100% proud of it....in fact I find that in being open about it I can peek inside many peoples closets to find what skeletons they hide, I've found that many of the kids at my school who are considered "popular, trendy, hip, social...whatever" deep down have lustings for star-trek, or nintendo, or tcp/ip networking, or gasp Ad&d! its wierd, almost everyone is geeky about something, but very few people admit to it and further more even fewer use it to their advantage....hell from typing in these very Boards I've sped up my typing skills considerably...though my grammer and wild pinky shift key need work...it is definatly a speed improvement



    at any rate JD I have no idea what, if anything compu-global-hyper-meganet does, so rather than risk competing with you I'm just going to buy you out.(translation...I am not familiar with bukowski.I do read alot of tom robbins though, and what advice do you have for me?)



    <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
  • Reply 30 of 84
    stimulistimuli Posts: 564member
    The first posts by JYD were hilarious, that last was poignant, and echos my feelings exactly. I hate Britany Spears.
  • Reply 31 of 84
    eugeneeugene Posts: 8,254member
    Seb, I dunno about you, but my bike costs more than my computer and I can't get chicks.



    I've been riding it a lot more these few weeks too.



    Sometimes I get chicks to ride with me, but they're kinda mannish...we do some pretty tough singletracks, climbs and descents.
  • Reply 32 of 84
    junkyard dawgjunkyard dawg Posts: 2,801member
    Just finished Fierce Invalids home from hot climates, so the only Robbins I have yet to read is Jitterbug Perfume. But I'm going to take a break from him for a bit...sometimes he gets on my nerves (but I still can't get enough of his prose, wow!).



    Sometimes Bukowski can be a great companion on a lonely, rainy day, but I suppose personal taste plays a big role in that one!



    <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
  • Reply 33 of 84
    [quote]Originally posted by Eugene:

    <strong>Seb, I dunno about you, but my bike costs more than my computer and I can't get chicks.



    I've been riding it a lot more these few weeks too.



    Sometimes I get chicks to ride with me, but they're kinda mannish...we do some pretty tough singletracks, climbs and descents.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    bah, damn mountain bikers. You need to get yourself on a road bike. Ladies dig road cyclists, especially the shaved legs



    and yeah, my competition road frame alone cost an awful lot more than my computer, and I hate to think about what all of my bikes add up to...
  • Reply 34 of 84
    gambitgambit Posts: 475member
    If you want a good chick, go to the gym. That's where you'll find them. Try to avoid the ones wearing make up, though, unless you're in the mood for a chicken head. Girls dig guys with muscles, and you don't have to be big, just cut. And guys dig girls at the gym because it shows that they care about themselves.... unless it shows that they're fat and trying to lose weight. lol Either way, the gym helps.
  • Reply 35 of 84
    tigerwoods99tigerwoods99 Posts: 2,633member
    Ho do relationships have to be expensive? F8ck that, if you find a girl who makes it expensive then she isn't even wroth it. I'm not going to be with a girl who just cares about that.



    There's different types of geeks. There's your nerd boy with thick glasses and poindexter shirts. There's your geek who plays Magic. There's your geek who is obsessed with Star Trek. There's your PC geek. There's your Linux geek. There's your mac geek.



    I tend to think of myself as a tech enthusiast, because truthfully I'm a baller. I doubt many people would really think of me as the type to know a lot about computers, and fantasize about G5s with GF4 Ti 4600s in them. But I cant help it damnit! My gf knows I'm a computer nerd, and she lets me know I'm a nerd/geek/dork whatever! It's alright with me, cause she can be my hott dorkette. Who says people who like computers can't be cool and get hot chicks?



    Str8 ballin for life.



    Oh, and watch out for UBZ. It's coming to your area.
  • Reply 36 of 84
    gumby5647gumby5647 Posts: 241member
    how to get chicks:



    First off, as mentioned before, go to the mall and buy those really expensive trendy clothes. Spend at least 300.00....





    Next get a nice fast car. The faster it goes the better.



    Now then, after you have a girl you have to remember to treat her like total sh!t. Trust me, she won't break up with you. I never could understand this concept. "he treats me like dirt, but i love him and he's so cute"



    once again.... *Relationships are over rated, and women are confusing as hell*
  • Reply 37 of 84
    sebseb Posts: 676member
    No Eugene, my bike didn't cost more than my computer. Close but not quite.



    Geekdom in moderation seems to work well for me.
  • Reply 38 of 84
    alcimedesalcimedes Posts: 5,486member
    out of everything mentioned here i'd have to say the following are completely true.



    1. get a puppy. that does work every time. had a friend who worked at a pet store for this very reason. he'd walk the cutest puppy they at at parks every weekend and meet loads of chicks.



    2. treat them like shit. this is also true. the less you need them, and the more they know it, the more they want you. they're all ****ed up in the head, but use it to your advantage.



    3. be proud of who you are. no point meeting someone otherwise, it would just be a lot of work to keep projecting an image that isn't you. don't waste your time.
  • Reply 39 of 84
    idogcowidogcow Posts: 111member
    i have no trouble at all getting chicks..here's my newest girlfriend:



    She's so hot.









    [ 04-03-2002: Message edited by: iDogcow ]</p>
  • Reply 40 of 84
    [quote]Originally posted by iDogcow:

    <strong>i have no trouble at all getting chicks..here's my newest girlfriend:



    She's so hot.









    [ 04-03-2002: Message edited by: iDogcow ]</strong><hr></blockquote>



    Ahhhh.... so thats what the little hole in the front of the quicksilver does! <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
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