What is the oldest joke in the world?

vargasvargas
Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
Is it:



A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?"



<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" />
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 52
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    Or is it:



    "Hey, I just flew in from Cleveland...and boy, are my arms tired!"



    &lt;snare, cymbal crash&gt;
  • Reply 2 of 52
    godgod Posts: 7member
    My, it was a long time ago, but I seem to remember the oldest joke ever, being the "What is the oldest joke in the world?" joke.



    - God



    This message has been brought to you by the Deity institute®, 666 Heaven Dr.
  • Reply 3 of 52
    powerdocpowerdoc Posts: 8,123member
    The oldest joke of the world is :

    god exist (not the real one, but the one who write on AI)
  • Reply 4 of 52
    cdhostagecdhostage Posts: 1,038member
    Yo daddy so fat....



    (God being a GODDAMN PATERNALIST!) ARg.
  • Reply 5 of 52
    gardenofearthlydelightsgardenofearthlydelights Posts: 963member
    Okay? stop me if you've heard this one before &lt;crash&gt; &lt;#%#$&gt; &lt;scuffle, scuffle&gt; &lt;oof!&gt; &lt;$%!obscenity!@&gt;



    Okay, I got another one &lt;/and now for something completely different...&gt;
  • Reply 6 of 52
    rodukroduk Posts: 706member
    [quote]Originally posted by Vargas:

    <strong>Is it:



    A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?"



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>



    A sausage walks into a bar, the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here"

  • Reply 7 of 52
    fran441fran441 Posts: 3,715member
    I'm not sure of the oldest joke, but the biggest jokes around here recently were Psychobabble and Doctor von Evil. <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />



    But you wouldn't know that since you weren't here yet, right Vargas?
  • Reply 8 of 52
    undotwaundotwa Posts: 97member
    "I came, I saw, I conquer"



    Well I thought it was funny...
  • Reply 9 of 52
    masterzeusmasterzeus Posts: 111member
    "I walked into a bar, and it hurt."



    pscates, I believe it should be:



    &lt;snare, snare, cymbal crash&gt;
  • Reply 10 of 52
    jambojambo Posts: 3,036member
    [quote]Originally posted by Vargas:

    <strong>



    A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?"

    </strong><hr></blockquote>



    [quote]Originally posted by RodUK:

    <strong>



    A sausage walks into a bar, the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here"</strong><hr></blockquote>



    Mix these jokes together add a bit of France and you get:



    A horse walks into a French bar, the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here. Oh and, why the long face?" <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />



    J :cool:
  • Reply 11 of 52
    mimacmimac Posts: 872member
    A guy says to his doctor "Doc, everytime I f@rt it sounds like 'Honda' ".

    The Doc looks puzzled and asks "...as in 'Honda' motorcycles?"

    "yea, like 'Honda' everytime I f@rt!" says the guy.

    So the doc checks him and finds nothing wrong so asks the guy to open his mouth.

    "Hmmm, I see what the trouble is here" says the doc.

    "You've got a large abcess in your mouth".

    "But its my a$$ , not my mouth" says the guy.

    The doc replies "...but do you not know that Abcess makes the f@rt go Honda!"



  • Reply 12 of 52
    jesperasjesperas Posts: 524member
    Windows.
  • Reply 13 of 52
    thuh freakthuh freak Posts: 2,664member
    i got one, its not really old (or atleast i only heard it fairly recently), but its kinda harsh.



    Why can't Hellen Keller have kids?

    because she's dead.



    i got some more. heres a coupla 1-liner from w. allen:

    "i'm not afriad of dying, i just don't want to be there when it happens."

    "I'm at 2 with nature."

    "If only God were to make me a clear sign. Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."

    "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
  • Reply 14 of 52
    leviathanleviathan Posts: 161member
    [quote]Originally posted by Fran441:

    <strong>I'm not sure of the oldest joke, but the biggest jokes around here recently were Psychobabble and Doctor von Evil. <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />



    But you wouldn't know that since you weren't here yet, right Vargas? </strong><hr></blockquote>



    i dont get it...is this a private joke or is it just me?? sorry



    whilst i'm here though....the oldest joke in the world has to be...



    any fu*kin 'knock knock' joke



    or



    "what do donkeys get for dinner........20mins"

    -Peter Kay (the god of laughter)



    if you dont get this then sorry it is an english joke, and if you still dont get it go to bloody blackpool!
  • Reply 15 of 52
    hassan i sabbahhassan i sabbah Posts: 3,987member
    I mean, take my mother-in-law.



    Please.
  • Reply 16 of 52
    vargasvargas Posts: 426member
    What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun?



    Sir!



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" /> :confused:
  • Reply 17 of 52
    vargasvargas Posts: 426member
    A man is sat in a bar when he notices a man sat next to him with a big case on the floor beside him. "What's in the case?" he asks the man. The man opens the case and out walks a little man. This little man pulls out a little piano and plays some beautiful tunes on it. "Where did you get him?" He asks the man, "I have a genie who grants wishes. Would you liketo make a wish?" the man replies. "Sure" he says. The man summons his genie and the other man asks it for a million Bucks. The genie snaps his fingers and the bar is filled with a million ducks. "What?" he shouts "I asked for Bucks, not ducks!". "Please" the other man whispers "my genies a little hard of hearing. You really don't think I asked him for a 12 inch pianist!"

    <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" /> <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" /> <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" /> <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" /> <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" /> <img src="graemlins/surprised.gif" border="0" alt="[Surprised]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 18 of 52
    vargasvargas Posts: 426member
    Some geometric shapes are having a drink in a bar. The square says to the circle, "Your round."





    <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />



    [ 07-03-2002: Message edited by: Vargas ]</p>
  • Reply 19 of 52
    zozo Posts: 3,117member
    "Microsoft Works"
  • Reply 20 of 52
    vargasvargas Posts: 426member
    What do you call a man with a Banana in each ear?



    Anything you want, he can't hear you!
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