Open letter to Apple, with all my love...

in Future Apple Hardware edited January 2014
Awwww, helll!! Gawd-damnit! If Apple doesn't release a G5 Powermac soon I'm gunna kill myself! ARRRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!

I'm at the end of my rope. All these PC wankers at work always riding me, telling me how slow my Mac is and taunting me with spec stats and Quake frame rates. It's all bullshit! Why the hell can't Apple piece together a real desktop computer that SCREAMS!!! It's not fair, damn them! Damn them all to hell! Jobs thinks he's so great with his photoshop filters and his rigged demos---and he doesn't even use a Mac in his office!!! I'll be showing Jobs what it means to rely on a Mac for more than glam-marketing at rigged expos staffed with the converted. Sleep easy, Jobs, because you won't even know when to expect it!

If Apple doesn't put out at MWSF, then I'm going to crack....but I'm not goin' down without takin' a few PC wankers with me. I'm destitute and nothing but a reboot is holding my threads together. It's gonna be payback time for all the wise-ass cracks about how unstable Mac OS 9 is, about how slow and fragile Macs are, the "all-show-and-no-go" comments I hear day in and day out. Yeah, when I show up with my high powered iRifle, we'll just see what they've got to say about that!!!

It's either G5, or the end of me....but listen up because I won't go down without a stand!

[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: Junkyard Dawg ]</p>


  • Reply 1 of 26
    fran441fran441 Posts: 3,715member
    Listen to my well thought out response <a href=""; target="_blank">here</a>
  • Reply 2 of 26
    Whew, close call! I'm better now.

    The above post is fictitious, illusory, and riddled with bad taste in light of 9-11--just my element!
  • Reply 3 of 26
    Fran, that's cool! Did you make that yourself?
  • Reply 4 of 26
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    Yes, and as soon as you people get a 1.6GHz G5 (as if...), you'll be wringing your hands and spazzing out over Apple's "suck-ass inability to get the G6 out in a timely manner!!! ASSHOLES! This G5 is ****ing LAME and we should be further along..."

    None of you screwheads are going to die if Apple doesn't release a G5. Half of you wouldn't know what to do with all that power anyway. Just hard up for bragging rights.

    Two years ago, you all were saying the same kind of stuff about the new "mighty G4"...and two years from now, the G5 will be old hat and you'll be screaming about a G6 or whatever.

    And some of you I'm certain of this fact: I could take a 400MHz G3, put it in a bitchin' new G5-esque case and say it has a 266MHz bus, USB 2, faster FireWire, etc. and you'd NEVER know.

    Get el grippo.
  • Reply 5 of 26
    Now thats funny.
  • Reply 6 of 26
    amorphamorph Posts: 7,112member
    pscates wrote:

    [quote]None of you screwheads are going to die if Apple doesn't release a G5. <strong>Half of you wouldn't know what to do with all that power anyway.</strong> Just hard up for bragging rights.<hr></blockquote>

    That *bang* you heard was the nail getting hit on the head.

    Thanks, 'scates.
  • Reply 7 of 26
    sinewavesinewave Posts: 1,074member
    Hey Dawg it seems to me you just want the faster G5 for bragging rights and not to feel mhz insecure. How lame.

    [quote]Originally posted by pscates:

    <strong>Yes, and as soon as you people get a 1.6GHz G5 (as if...), Get el </strong><hr></blockquote>

    I REALLY hope your not trying to say it's not going to happen soon I really do.
  • Reply 8 of 26
    I am PROUD to say that I make up for my inadequacies by pumping up the MHz. DP800 now, 1.6G5 in January! Bigger really is better! God bless Steve Jobs and God bless the G5!

  • Reply 9 of 26
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    [quote]Originally posted by Sinewave:

    <strong>I REALLY hope your not trying to say it's not going to happen soon I really do.</strong><hr></blockquote>

    Oh no...I have TOTAL faith that Apple is going to make a 200% leap in processor speed in one fell swoop.

    They're just going to go from 800 to 1.6, just like that. The past 2-3 years should serve as no indication or evidence that they might do otherwise.

    This weak 50-100MHz bumps since 1999 was just Apple toying with us.

    If a 1.6GHz ANYTHING is announced at MWSF, I'll mow your yard with a pair of scissors. Left handed, no less.

  • Reply 10 of 26
    scates, you already owe me $4..

    but i echo that "bang" that amorph remarked about.

    Dead on, Hammer man.
  • Reply 11 of 26
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    This is what I talked about in another thread. This happens twice a year, like clockwork. We start expecting all this wild-ass, unrealistic stuff, based on NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER...also, bearing in mind, that nearly every Macworld keynote uneiling is NEVER anywhere close to the stuff we "expect" and hope for.

    Haven't enough of us been burned with heartbreaking no-shows and letdowns over the past 2-3 years that we finally get a handle on not shooting too high?

    Here's my MWSF 2002 predictions:

    There's DEFINITELY gonna be some cool stuff, but ther's also gonna be a lot of cool stuff that ISN'T unveiled and some of your are gong to need counselling afterwards, I'm afraid.

    Seriously guys, think back: has ANY Macworld Expo keynote come anywhere close to your predictions/dreams?


    So why should THIS one? Not trying to be a party-pooper or excessively negative...I've simply got both feet on the ground and have REASONABLE expectations, based on past behavior and patterns, that's all.

    Sure, I hope I'm wrong as hell and that all this stuff DOES come out, but I'm not hanging my computing life on it either.

    To be honest, I'm (perhaps foolishly?) expecting a brand-new, totally redesigned iMac.

    BUT, I haven't sold my current one yet, either.

  • Reply 12 of 26
    jimmacjimmac Posts: 11,898member
    Well. not that I have any faith in JYD's predictions but, the G5 story is coming from a number of sources now so I think the possibility is stronger. What form will depend on the viability of the chip it self. I hope that Apple comes out with something that will dust the PCs to dispell these stupid ideas about Macs being slow.

    PS. Long over due!
  • Reply 13 of 26
    gilschgilsch Posts: 1,995member
    Ok, so we all know how poor Moto has been at cranking up the Mhz. But what if they have somehow gotten better and produced chips that scale better?

    What if they have been devoting a majority of their resources to this new chip(G5) and not paying that much attention to further developing the G4?

    I know, a lot of "ifs", but what if(sorry)they know the G5 will open doors to other markets(Cisco)besides desktop computers? wouldn't that be like doubling(or tripling or whatever)their "customer base" in one swoop?Wouldn't that make sense from a business standpoint?

    That said, I am not holding my breath, but I am saving into a little "G5 account"just in case.
  • Reply 14 of 26
    satchmosatchmo Posts: 2,699member
    [quote]Originally posted by pscates:

    <strong> Half of you wouldn't know what to do with all that power anyway. Just hard up for bragging rights.


    So true. Most people can get by with what is currently available today. Any one who is in the creative writing or design field surely can. Those in production based work obviously can use the greater horsepower.

    All I really look forward to is product announcements that assist in making my project smoother, easier and better not necessarily faster.

    That plus Apple's really cool looking product designs to go on top of my desk
  • Reply 15 of 26
    LOL! I can't believe anyone took this thread seriously. It's just for kicks, folks! It's called "sarcasm", and I'm making fun of the people who wouldn't know what to do with all the power of a G5 (or even a G4 for that matter).
  • Reply 16 of 26
    I just don't see how Apple can afford to not have some kind of consumer expo just before Christmas where they launch new consumer products. It's much needed.
  • Reply 17 of 26
    jimmacjimmac Posts: 11,898member
    Ah Junky,

    Just more prove that you're only here for your own self gratifacation.

    Of course just like the demon in " The Exorcist " he mixes lies with the truth to be more convincing. Most of todays hardware is more than a match for the average software. But, it would be nice to have more amunition to counter the PC advocates who say " Macs are slow ".

    Junky get a new tune.

    [ 11-29-2001: Message edited by: jimmac ]</p>
  • Reply 18 of 26
    fran441fran441 Posts: 3,715member
    [quote]Junky get a new tune. <hr></blockquote>

    But he has a new tune <a href=""; target="_blank">here</a>

    Seriously though, JYD, I got it.
  • Reply 19 of 26
    jimmacjimmac Posts: 11,898member

    Junky's right about one thing that's pretty clever!
  • Reply 20 of 26
    jimmacjimmac Posts: 11,898member

    " Damn them, damn them all to hell! " Now do this in front of the Statue of Liberty ( or on your deathbed in front of a chimp if you want to do a repeat performance 33 years later .

    [ 11-29-2001: Message edited by: jimmac ]</p>
Sign In or Register to comment.