iPhone and iPad sync with MacBook Pro using iTunes

Need some help here from someone who can possible chime in and help with a particular issue. In the old days this worked great but now there seem to be issues. I have an iPhone 12 and an iPad Pro which I like to sync with my MacBook Pro. I don’t want to use iCloud and wish to only use iTunes to sync between my devices. I should be able to have option to either use new info on iPhone or iPad to automatically update during sync with MacBook Pro or it should do so automatically by itself. Right now it seems to somehow not allow users to choose and during sync certain contacts go missing. If Apple software engineers are reading this I would like to hear from you. I think Apple needs to fine tune the sync features on iTunes for syncing between Apple devices which now seeks to not be so polished. Anyone here able to chime in..? Also, to note I am using an external SSD storage device to keep MacBook Pro clutter free and more secure by placing sync on external device also freeing up MacBook storage space.

Best way to customize sync for contacts and photos..?