Frank discussion about being overweight and losing it?
So are there any overweight or obese AI'er's out there? What are some things you have tried that did and did not work (to lose weight, that is)? Have you found success in a certain technique, or tried everything with limited amounts of success? What are some things (that are frequently suggested) that absolutely do NOT work?
When a friend wants to give support to your weight loss efforts, what are typical things that are said that end up coming off "wrong"? That is, they are well meaning, but due to lack of understanding of the situation personally, they end up saying something that just pisses you off (or makes you just emotionally withdraw from the conversation). What are some things that you wish they would say or understand that would give you positive support (or generally just make you feel good)?
I wanted to start this topic to give a forum for overweight people to expound upon their personal experiences- maybe clear up some common misunderstandings or myths.
When a friend wants to give support to your weight loss efforts, what are typical things that are said that end up coming off "wrong"? That is, they are well meaning, but due to lack of understanding of the situation personally, they end up saying something that just pisses you off (or makes you just emotionally withdraw from the conversation). What are some things that you wish they would say or understand that would give you positive support (or generally just make you feel good)?
I wanted to start this topic to give a forum for overweight people to expound upon their personal experiences- maybe clear up some common misunderstandings or myths.
Comments
Perfectly happy with who I am.
The last time I tried a book called 32 days to a 32 inch waist by Ellington Dardin. The title is intentionally over the top and marketing, but the exercises and meals make sound sense and are not a gimmick. They were fairly easy to follow too.
He has written a few books and I like the 32 days one best. It was the one that made the most sense for me being a real person who has day to day responsibilities. It basically gave you the shopping list, calorie counts, and recipies for 32 days worth of meals. It also had light weight training 3 days a week consisting of 1 set of reps done superslow to wear out that set of muscles. It wasn't about how many reps or how much weight. It had you taking about 20 seconds to do one rep with a maximum of 10 reps for that exercise. There were only about 8-9 exercises to go through so it took about 30 minutes. It is an excellent book for someone who has never done any weight training or had to diet in any manner before. It makes no assumptions and spells everything out.
I have tried the Body for Life stuff and haven't ever been able to finish it yet. 3 months is a long time and I am going to give it another chance soon.
The hardest thing about losing weight in my eyes is just how much food there is not only in our society but how things work culturally. I mean it was very hard for me at my thinnest because it was just hard to find people as active as I had become. I was 31 and weighed what I did the day I graduated from high school. Everyone else was/is carrying 30-40 lbs more. When you invited your friends over for basketball or something like that and they all end up huffing and puffing before you have broken a sweat, it builds a little resentment. I mean it isn't like you can change or dump your friends.
Likewise my own wife and I would get into arguments about portion sizes and things of that nature. I bought a food scale but she still took it personally.
In otherwords you have to be prepared for the effects the ending of bad habits may have not only on yourself, but on others. It is easy to understand this when say, someone is an alcoholic and all their friends are drinkers. It is not so easy when you excuse yourself from Friday treat day at work, or eating out with your co-workers 3 times a week, or when your spouse wants dessert every night or a snack with TV shows and you don't.
That part was much harder for me and over time it wore me down so that I fell back into non-exercising again. I'm now probably about 30 lbs overweight.
Nick
Losing weight is a matter of correcting your lifestyle. If you don't change the way to live, then any weight you lose will come back. If you are gaining weight, then your input exceeds your output. You can adjust your input (food intake) only so much and for so long. What you need to look at is how much exercise you get. I am a firm believer in 1) exercise, 2) drink plenty of water, 3) eat healthy (whole grains, natural sugars, etc.)
And I agree that "weight" isn't always a good measure of a person's health or fitness. If you ran the Body Mass Index on Arnold "I'll be back" Scwh., he would come out as "overweight."
All that said, I have an absolutely HORRIBLE sweet tooth and about 10 pounds more to go before I am satisfied. Now if I could just stick to my own advice.
Personnaly i am loosing weight without any pain. I have lost 12 pounds this last three months.
First of all, you must be in good mood in order to loose your weight. Not worth to try something if you are not OK. This point is essential. If you are anxious for various problems it won't work. Your mind must be free.
Second point you must analysis what's wrong with your habits. Do you eat enough at breakfast ? do you eat between the regular meals ? what sort of food do you eat ? do you eat two much ? do you practice enough exercices ?
When you have answered to the second point, you know what to change in your habits. If you don't want to fail, don't try to loose weight to quickly, 4 to 6 pounds per month is enough. With time with this moderate way, it will not be difficult to continue to loose your weight, and more you will have change your food's habits definitively.
Originally posted by Randycat99
I've pondered that for some there is a vicious cycle which kind of taps into what Powerdoc says about being in a good mood to embark on such a task. We've all probably met someone who gets very irritable and moody once they hit a sugar crash. So they have to eat to at least to potentially stay in a good mood. ...but when they eat, they gain weight. So they end up either starving and miserable (ultimately giving up on the diet) or eating, but still miserable because they cannot lose the weight. That would be an awful predicament to be in, IMO. Can anybody here relate to this?
You are right to precise this point, which is effectively very common. This vicious cycle explain why so many diets leads to failure. The psychological aspect is essential.
However, if your only concern is losing weight and not actually being in good health, then specialized diets like the no-carb/Atkins trick should work nicely...BUT that doesn't mean you'll be healthy. You'll have much less stamina, and still be susceptible to nasty things like high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
Originally posted by Powerdoc
You are right to precise this point, which is effectively very common. This vicious cycle explain why so many diets leads to failure. The psychological aspect is essential.
So what precisely is there that you can offer to people of this nature as a solution? (well, it doesn't have to be "precisely"; I just said that for impact
he's doing the atkins diet now, and he's lost about 25 lbs. in 4 months.
thing is, he's also significantly lowered his blood pressure and cholesteral counts as well.
funny part is, as bogus as atkins intially sounds, if you cut carbs out of your diet, there isn't a lot of food left that's actually that unhealthy.
i do have to disagree with Ebby's assertion--what nutritionists consider overweight hasn't changed for many years, and is derived by a simple height vs weight test, with a fat to body mass check when you need definitive answers. There are fat people who can do amazing physical things, but have no illusions--they're still fat. For some that is their choice and they are okay with that, but the social stigmas and shame attached with weight are very real, and they can be difficult to endure.
Originally posted by Randycat99
So what precisely is there that you can offer to people of this nature as a solution? (well, it doesn't have to be "precisely"; I just said that for impact
Well i am not a dietetician, but i work with them. If people have heavy psychologic problems they should deal it with a psychologist. In the university where i learn my job, there was a consultation for this problems with three specialised MD : a psychiatrist, an endocrinologist and a nutritionist. It's show that many things are intricated.
For people with heavy problems of weight and that cannot loose weight with the ordinary methods, inflatable rings inserted via endoscopia is a good solution for selected peoples (they must be in good mental shape for example to accept such devices, and their consequences : you have the same appetite, but if you eat too much you will want to vomit). This process works good. I work with a specialised surgeon in this matter, who send me many patients for a plastic surgery (especially for the abdominal wall who suffer from the loss of weight) one or two years after his procedure.
I can said that it's a good way of loosing weight for people with big problems (problems that may put their life in danger, and not simply 20 pounds too much).
Originally posted by Powerdoc
You are right to precise this point, which is effectively very common. This vicious cycle explain why so many diets leads to failure. The psychological aspect is essential.
Me! Me! Me!
Like i said, I have a nasty sweet tooth. And from what I've read and personal experience, I would say that simple sugars (simple carbohydrates) are about as addictive as smoking. If I can just go three or four days without breaking down--candy bar, reese's peanut butter cups
Worst thing about it, both of my parents are type II diabetics, so I really need to get the sweets under control before I get old and end up in the same boat.
Remember: complex carbohydrates are your friend.
Originally posted by Fangorn
Me! Me! Me!
Like i said, I have a nasty sweet tooth. And from what I've read and personal experience, I would say that simple sugars (simple carbohydrates) are about as addictive as smoking. If I can just go three or four days without breaking down--candy bar, reese's peanut butter cups
Worst thing about it, both of my parents are type II diabetics, so I really need to get the sweets under control before I get old and end up in the same boat.
Remember: complex carbohydrates are your friend.
The good thing is that you know from where come your problems. Many people have difficulties to admit it, and are in denial. I have even heard someone said " when i see a cake in the bakery i took one pound", or "doctor i eat nothing, but i am taking weight, i swear it". I think the first step for losing weight is to recocnize our bad habits. Second point " you don't have to feel guilty because you have bad habits : it's not a crime,or an offense. If you want to eat two pounds of chocolate it's your right".
People suffering weight problems must resist to the pressure of the environnement who harras obese people. Obesity is bad for health, in a perfect world it should be just a personal issue. I know it's not the way it work in our society, but obese people should not feel guilty.
Originally posted by Randycat99
What about fruits? Typically they are seen as "healthy foods", so there is no "guilt" if you pound down some to stave off an appetite. However, aren't they also very sugary? Complex sugar or not, it's still a sugar, and something sugary in a serving size such as a piece of fruit can be detrimental to a diet (I'm guessing). For the type of person where sugars quickly get converted to fat instead of staying and being consumed in the bloodstream, could this be a diet no-no? (not saying to avoid fruit altogether, but I'm thinking it should be eaten conservatively)
No, fruits are great. Fruits just have lots lots less calories than most of the processed sugary foods like candies. Most fruits also have lots of fiber, so you fill up before you stuff yourself with too many calories, like is so easy to do with candy.
That's why those fruit "health drinks" are really dumb. Basically, you're taking all the good stuff out of the fruit (the fiber) and condensing all the bad stuff (the sugar and high calories) into something you can consume quickly and easily.
I don't buy the distinction people make between sugar vs. fat vs. other types of calories, as far as losing weight. I think that's basically trying to find some secret gimmick. In the end, a calorie is a calorie. To the extent people lose weight on Atkins or Sugar Busters or whatever, they're losing it because they're taking in less calories.
My philosophy about losing weight is that it's extremely difficult for most people to NOT do something. Diets don't work if the diet says "don't eat this or that," IMO. In order to not do it you have to think about it, and then you feel deprived, and then you break down, etc. In my view, you need to DO something, rather than stop doing something. Buy fruits and veggies to keep around to snack on rather than doritos. Same with exercise - it's much easier to start exercising that it is to stop eating sweets. So I think you just shouldn't even try. Just find replacement behaviors like exercise or munching on fruits and veggies.
(Disclaimer: I'm married to a Registered Dietitian.
Originally posted by BRussell
I don't buy the distinction people make between sugar vs. fat vs. other types of calories, as far as losing weight. I think that's basically trying to find some secret gimmick. In the end, a calorie is a calorie.
Well I do think there is something to that, as far as tracking how various things get into your body. Calories are derived from fat, aren't they? Sugar enters the body directly, but if not used right away while in the bloodstream, gets converted to fat which could technically account for some equivalent amount of fat intake. Carbohydrates? Well I don't know about that one. Is that a complex sugar or something?
So isn't it possible a piece of food could contain no fat (and thus no significant amount of calories), but it does contain sugar. This would seem to describe a fruit, wouldn't it? In the end, it could result in some degree of weight gain if that sugar just gets stored away as fat (due to particular body metabolism characteristics). It wouldn't be that different from eating something with some amount of fat (and thus x amount of calories), but contains no sugar. The end result is stored fat if the body has a tendency to store away the "excesses" wrt the typical metabolic rate.
So I guess what I'm saying is that, yes, a calorie is a calorie, but sugars (natural or synthetic) can be just as detrimental even if calories are utterly absent. You have to watch your intake of either one (in addition to carbohydrates, of course). Of course, if your metabolic rate is stagnant, that would be entirely another issue to address. There's a lot of "prongs" to this weight loss issue, indeed!
Originally posted by Randycat99
What about fruits? Typically they are seen as "healthy foods", so there is no "guilt" if you pound down some to stave off an appetite. However, aren't they also very sugary? Complex sugar or not, it's still a sugar, and something sugary in a serving size such as a piece of fruit can be detrimental to a diet (I'm guessing). For the type of person where sugars quickly get converted to fat instead of staying and being consumed in the bloodstream, could this be a diet no-no? (not saying to avoid fruit altogether, but I'm thinking it should be eaten conservatively)
.
Actually Fruit Is the BEST not the worst thing to eat..
In terms of life giving health properties, minerals, enzymes, vitamins,etc it is the most complete food around..and incredibly cheap.
Fruit is perfect " Mood - Food " helping to lower blood pressure & calm nerves..
Fruit promotes better sleep patterns so all in all it is
EXCELLENT EXCELLENT EXCELLENT
Read Leslie Kenton's " Raw Energy " book.
I have been following a largely "FIT for LIFE diet " Lee & harvey Daimond, but concentrating on mainly eating Fruit..
I have lost over 20 lbs & never feel hungry or guilty..
I even drink a couple of glasses of wine at night.
Complex carbs should be minimised or eliminated..simply cutting out bread, pasta etc can help tremendously..Complex carbs are the biggest weight putter onners there are, because of our largely sedentry life styles , they all just get stored as fat....
Originally posted by Randycat99
Well I do think there is something to that, as far as tracking how various things get into your body. Calories are derived from fat, aren't they? Sugar enters the body directly, but if not used right away while in the bloodstream, gets converted to fat which could technically account for some equivalent amount of fat intake. Carbohydrates? Well I don't know about that one. Is that a complex sugar or something?
So isn't it possible a piece of food could contain no fat (and thus no significant amount of calories), but it does contain sugar. This would seem to describe a fruit, wouldn't it? In the end, it could result in some degree of weight gain if that sugar just gets stored away as fat (due to particular body metabolism characteristics). It wouldn't be that different from eating something with some amount of fat (and thus x amount of calories), but contains no sugar. The end result is stored fat if the body has a tendency to store away the "excesses" wrt the typical metabolic rate.
So I guess what I'm saying is that, yes, a calorie is a calorie, but sugars (natural or synthetic) can be just as detrimental even if calories are utterly absent. You have to watch your intake of either one (in addition to carbohydrates, of course). Of course, if your metabolic rate is stagnant, that would be entirely another issue to address. There's a lot of "prongs" to this weight loss issue, indeed!
Hmmm, there are some basics that need to be covered here.
Calories do not come only from fat, but fat has more calories than other foods. Carbohydrates (including sugar - sugar is a carbohydrate) contain 4 calories per gram. Protein also has 4 calories per gram. Fat has 9 calories per gram.
For losing weight, it's a pretty basic equation, with calories taken in on one side and calories expended on the other. In general, if you want to lose weight, you need to get rid of 3500 calories per pound you want to lose. So if you want to lose 20 pounds, you have to subtract 70,000 calories.
Dietitians recommend taking off one pound per week, so that's 500 calories per day (3500 = 1 pound, 3500/7 = 500 per day). So for 70,000 calories, that's about 6 months. They recommend that the 500 per day be taken off half from increased activity and half from reduced eating. So exercise 250 calories off per day (about half an hour of running) and eat 250 calories less food per day (a large Coke), and there ya go. I suggest avoiding anything that tries to tell you it's more complex than that.
[edit]I realized this sounds arrogant, but I really don't practice what I'm preaching here. I could stand to lose some weight for sure. It's just that my wife is a professional in this area and so the knowledge has rubbed off some.