What a clutz! Only an idiot could do something like that! I mean, how can we expect a man to be President when he doesn't posess the most basic equilibrium skills! This is also definitive proof there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and that his tax cut plan will fail.
On Monday, Republicans plan to introduce the "Presidential Anti-Falling Off a Segway and Almost Killing One's Self Act of 2003". The measure is predicted to pass, but only narrowly, as the Reverend Jesse Jackson has threatened as "Civil Rights Explosion" to influence the Senate---citing this incident as the white man's inherent desire to dominate blacks. Jackson, in a rare moment of candor, also said: "Bush looks like he has chicken legs. Very white chicken legs, actually". Terry McCauliffe added: "This guy has been a disaster on the economy, while he has the nerve to screw the poor by riding around on a $4,000 scooter."
Meanwhile, the AFL-CIO and UAW threatened massive, nationwide picket lines because the scooter contained only 16% American parts. Protesters from the powerful unions pummelled the Bush family with Broccoli as the former President shouted "Oh God! Not again!". Bush's falling was also condemned by the US Senate and the American Society for Scooter Safety, Motorized Division. Islamic extemeists throughout the Middle East praised the event: "Alla Ackbar!! Alla is great! He has brought this great shame upon the cursed name of that Satan Bush. Oh, and yes...we hate Democrats as well. We know there was some confusion about that so I thought I'd clear it up" said one man in Karachi, Pakistan.
Bush shrugged off critics, though. In a unprepared statement, Bush said: "I will not tire, I will not fail. Those Segways who think they can throw me twice will follow the path of their own destruction...into the unmarked grave of History's lies. This Segway is either with me or against me. If it chooses the latter, it will be met the full resources of the federal government and the full force of the US Military. God Bless America". Bush then mounted the segway and said:
you know the fact that he is even associated with people who own the segway makes me want to mock his and his associates gullibility. why cant the man walk?
in a simple universe gerald ford didnt win reelection because he kept falling.
you know the fact that he is even associated with people who own the segway makes me want to mock his and his associates gullibility. why cant the man walk?
i thought the whole point of the segway was that it balanced against your body's natural leanings, so that you always stayed upright, no matter what. so how could he fall off? i am assuming he ran into something on the ground (having lived with a dog for the past 4 years, i have tripped over dog toys and such more times than i care to recall).
i thought the whole point of the segway was that it balanced against your body's natural leanings, so that you always stayed upright, no matter what.
but the body's natural leanings in this case may have been overrided by severe polital leanings. the poor Segway had no idea. Bush leaned left but his politics screamed right. BAM! crash.
but the body's natural leanings in this case may have been overrided by severe polital leanings. the poor Segway had no idea. Bush leaned left but his politics screamed right. BAM! crash.
You know, would a Bush loss in 2004 have to be such a bad thing? That would automagically give whomever wins the democratic nomination a run at a second term and keep Hilary at bay untill 2012, surely long enough for people to stop giving a damn about her. Last thing we need is a Rodham in the White House.
Comments
Originally posted by pscates
It's those damn WoMDs! Then again, he is the stupidest man on the planet AND he might've been drinking, so...
He can't possibly be dumber than Dan Quayle. Give the man some credit.
Somewhere, Dean Kamen is being strangled to death with piano wire by G. Gordon Liddy.
On Monday, Republicans plan to introduce the "Presidential Anti-Falling Off a Segway and Almost Killing One's Self Act of 2003". The measure is predicted to pass, but only narrowly, as the Reverend Jesse Jackson has threatened as "Civil Rights Explosion" to influence the Senate---citing this incident as the white man's inherent desire to dominate blacks. Jackson, in a rare moment of candor, also said: "Bush looks like he has chicken legs. Very white chicken legs, actually". Terry McCauliffe added: "This guy has been a disaster on the economy, while he has the nerve to screw the poor by riding around on a $4,000 scooter."
Meanwhile, the AFL-CIO and UAW threatened massive, nationwide picket lines because the scooter contained only 16% American parts. Protesters from the powerful unions pummelled the Bush family with Broccoli as the former President shouted "Oh God! Not again!". Bush's falling was also condemned by the US Senate and the American Society for Scooter Safety, Motorized Division. Islamic extemeists throughout the Middle East praised the event: "Alla Ackbar!! Alla is great! He has brought this great shame upon the cursed name of that Satan Bush. Oh, and yes...we hate Democrats as well. We know there was some confusion about that so I thought I'd clear it up" said one man in Karachi, Pakistan.
Bush shrugged off critics, though. In a unprepared statement, Bush said: "I will not tire, I will not fail. Those Segways who think they can throw me twice will follow the path of their own destruction...into the unmarked grave of History's lies. This Segway is either with me or against me. If it chooses the latter, it will be met the full resources of the federal government and the full force of the US Military. God Bless America". Bush then mounted the segway and said:
"Let's roll".
in a simple universe gerald ford didnt win reelection because he kept falling.
Originally posted by billybobsky
you know the fact that he is even associated with people who own the segway makes me want to mock his and his associates gullibility. why cant the man walk?
Ahem.. Steve Jobs - Dean Kamen...
Andrew
anyway...
You can bet I'd be falling of that thing left and right as I experimented with the limits of its ability to keep me from falling off.
I'm not saying this is what Bush was up to, however.
Originally posted by 709
You know it's Friday the 13th when SDW wakes up with a sense of humor. Funny stuff.
I love Friday the 13th. When it occurs It is usually one of my best days. (knock on wood).
Oh the segways are his fathers. Bush senior who uses them around his property.
i thought the whole point of the segway was that it balanced against your body's natural leanings, so that you always stayed upright, no matter what.
but the body's natural leanings in this case may have been overrided by severe polital leanings. the poor Segway had no idea. Bush leaned left but his politics screamed right. BAM! crash.
Originally posted by alcimedes
but the body's natural leanings in this case may have been overrided by severe polital leanings. the poor Segway had no idea. Bush leaned left but his politics screamed right. BAM! crash.
Worst joke of the day, you win!
Originally posted by groverat
Worst joke of the day, you win!
confirmed
Originally posted by groverat
Worst joke of the day, you win!
yup, terrible, but I liked it
Originally posted by dstranathan
Must have hit a pretzle in the road...
Funniest joke of the day! You REALLY win!