Steve's Macworld speech
Steve comes on stage looking kind of somber. He starts in commenting on the rumors about the G5, xMac, G4s with or without Rapid in Out, Hypertransport, on chip DDR support, an AMD manafactured chip, an IBM Power chip, OS X on Intel, etc. He says that unfortunaely for all of you who have been looking forward to dramatic speed boosts, we've been unable to come up with anything other than a 746o0runnning at 1.266 ghz. and we don't expect anything faster in the foreseeable future. He says he's sorry and then walks off stage to a speechless audience.
Then, suddenly, the lights go out. Techno music starts (todays version of the drum roll), softly, then louder and faster. The techno stops, the lights begin to go on, one by one, each giving off a soft glow that gives an effect not unlike what you see at dawn. Thus spake Zaruthista (forgive my spelling, aka known as the theme music from 2001, a Space Odyssey) starts in the backgound. People strain to see what's on stage-it looks like some kind of movement. Gradually, the shapes gain definition: there is movement. Collectivley, the Audienc gasps as the lights flash full on to reveal:
Steve, Jonathan and the Rockettes all doing a number on Dean Kamens "ginger" scooter. And Steve belts out, since we couldn't hack it anymore as a computer company, we've gone into partenrship with Dean to pruduce the world's best, cooles, smartest scooters! No more relying on weenies like Motorola-the future is OURS!
Then, suddenly, the lights go out. Techno music starts (todays version of the drum roll), softly, then louder and faster. The techno stops, the lights begin to go on, one by one, each giving off a soft glow that gives an effect not unlike what you see at dawn. Thus spake Zaruthista (forgive my spelling, aka known as the theme music from 2001, a Space Odyssey) starts in the backgound. People strain to see what's on stage-it looks like some kind of movement. Gradually, the shapes gain definition: there is movement. Collectivley, the Audienc gasps as the lights flash full on to reveal:
Steve, Jonathan and the Rockettes all doing a number on Dean Kamens "ginger" scooter. And Steve belts out, since we couldn't hack it anymore as a computer company, we've gone into partenrship with Dean to pruduce the world's best, cooles, smartest scooters! No more relying on weenies like Motorola-the future is OURS!
Comments
Either way, my opinion: <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" />
My lawyers will contact you shortly...
[QB]Oh damn. I almost believed you, until the last paragraph. I am way to gullible.
QB]<hr></blockquote>
it's ok; most apple users are easily identified by their extreme naiveté.
<strong>it's ok...</strong><hr></blockquote>
<img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> :cool:
If I manage to bring along one of our work ibooks I will report the real happenings at MWNY live from the keynote... but that is big if considering the IT dept. is stretched too thin machine wise anyway! Don't piss and moan over the fact that I don't have my own super-duper portable, right now I am happy with my trusty 1400cs.
<strong>Hmm... if he did that they would lynch him during the keynote.</strong><hr></blockquote>
That's not a bad idea. Use the implied threat of violence to get the truth out of Apple. Start the following rumor: If Steve doesn't come through he gets attacked by the crowd. This way we can predict Apple's offerings by whether Steve shows up or suddenly develops a case of Malaria.
<strong>Steve comes on stage looking kind of somber. He starts in...</strong><hr></blockquote>
LOL! Man, milk shot out of my nose! Er, well it would have. If I had some milk. And a glass. And I wasn't lactose intolerant. And I liked milk in the first place.
edit: gah! milk induced typos!
[ 05-30-2002: Message edited by: tsukurite ]
[ 05-30-2002: Message edited by: tsukurite ]</p>
$25000...oh, well at least one thing hasn't changed at the new Apple!!
Count me in.
Lemon Bon Bon
I'd avoid the front two rows at the keynote.
[ 05-30-2002: Message edited by: Belle ]</p>
<strong>I'm just hoping this year's demonstration includes firing Phil Schiller from a cannon.
I'd avoid the front two rows at the keynote.
[ 05-30-2002: Message edited by: Belle ]</strong><hr></blockquote>
Maybe I'm wrong but how is it that this thread isn't locked (or moved?). A bunch of others on the 1st page were and they were way more on topic then this one ever was...
Dave
I knew something was funny about halfway through, however Dean Kamen did not come to mind...
<strong>Maybe I'm wrong but how is it that this thread isn't locked (or moved?). A bunch of others on the 1st page were and they were way more on topic then this one ever was...</strong><hr></blockquote>
Because it's inoffensive, and I thought I'd give it a period of grace to develop into a discussion on the keynote.
Period of grace soon to be revoked...