Do (did) you, date exclusively within your ethnicity?

satchmo · July 1, 2003 11:27AM

I still think the vast majority still do.

Well,... I may be presumtuous here since, I can only tell by the colour of ones skin ( i.e. there may be an Irish dating a German and you couldn't tell).

The union of two people with visibly different looks has spawned (for lack of a better word), a whole new look. For instance, there are quite a few Asian women with Caucasian men (or vice versa). I know many couples of this combination and their children are quite simply beautiful.

I guess one's environment can determine a lot too. I don't usually date within my race. Not sure if it has to do with my personal un-attraction to my own kind or that here in Toronto, we have so many people of different ethnicities.

giaguara · July 1, 2003 11:37AM

I like to see mixed couples. Especially white blondish men with really latin or any darker women look good (and i think they fit very well with charachter, spicy woman and a more neutral man). The more conservative place you are in, (e.g. majority of Europe, including even its large cities except London and Paris) the more hard it is (social pressure) to be with a person of another race. So especially in such places i really like to see them, and i think they are stronger as couples as they have to figth for being such.

As having lived a big part of my life in (various) Europe, my mostly likely answer to the questions is "yes (just within my own ethnicities)". But if i'd be casually dating now i won't dislike seeing japanese or latin (american)s or just mixed people.

tmp · July 1, 2003 11:37AM

I don't. I won't narrow the field that much.

scott · July 1, 2003 11:59AM

I hope my boss doesn't read this but his kid is ... not good looking. Part 'merican part chinese. But she's just a kid so she may grow out of it. My wife, I think she's good looking part 'merican part korean. We're hoping our kids aren't ugos.

tulkas · July 1, 2003 12:17PM

Never dated within my ethnicity. I would have, I guess, but I am mixed and never could find anyone with a similar mix (Chinese, Scottish and Jamaican). Where I grew up was very, very white and it was tough finding other mutts.

I usually like the way mixed kids look. My sisters are both very pretty. One sister married a Quebecois of partly Italian descent and her kids look mainly white, but have subtle asian features. The 3 year old is going to be a lady killer.

Any other half-breeds around?

brussell · July 1, 2003 12:18PM

I had a Lebanese girlfriend in the early 90s. We were spit on by some nice blokes when we were riding on the subway in London. "Ta."

trumptman · July 1, 2003 1:13PM

I dated multiple nationalities and I suppose "races" if I believed in such an antiquated concept.

Nick

slotracer152 · July 1, 2003 1:30PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tulkas

(Chinese, Scottish and Jamaican).

you have three parents?

I have only dated within my own skin color, but not for a lack of trying. There are so many beautiful women of all races.

vandewaals · July 1, 2003 2:42PM

I'm a Caucasian mutt (French-Canadian Catholic mom, WASP dad). I dated a Native American girl in hs and my gf now is South Asian. I absolutly love dark haired, dark skinned women (hispanic, asian). And I agree that mixed race children are usually blessed with the best features of both parents. Hopefully mine will take after their mom

.

fangorn · July 1, 2003 6:53PM

Not really. I personally don't have any problems with mixed "races," particularly since I don't think there are any "races" (goes back to that Creationist thing). However, my father was/is incredibly racist; I think it goes hand-in-hand with being poor and in the South. So it was more an issue of respecting my father than anything personal.

But then, my husband is 1/8 (maybe only 1/16) Choctow Indian. Does that count?

For my kids, I would be more concerned that they share a common faith (religion) with their prospective spouse than any superficial physical trait.

randycat99 · July 1, 2003 7:21PM

I have to say that dating outside of ethnicity for the Chinese male is just about damn near futile. It's a racial barrier that may never be broken. It's not serious enough to blatantly call for amends (no one is burning a cross in someone else's lawn over it), and it is too subtle to distinguish as a racial choice rather than just a choice (which is more PC). Like pork is the "other white meat", Chinese male is the meat that is bereft of consideration whatsoever by woman of other colors. Now Asian woman, OTOH... White men are all too eager to wave them on over. It's a shame the white women are not equally as eager to reciprocate for Chinese men.

applenut · July 1, 2003 7:27PM

Asian

moogs · July 1, 2003 7:30PM

Hmmm. I'd say I've tended to stay within the same race, but have definitely pursued women of other ethnicities / cultures... Asian, Hispanic... women from New York...

It's true what they say: those chics from New York are from another world.

709 · July 1, 2003 7:36PM

Absolutely not. While I have a white/blonde gf now (although the carpet doesn't match the drapes), I've never even thought about ethnicity and/or skin colour in my previous dating. Well, that's not entirely true...I had a shaved head for a while living in Texas about 10 years ago while dating an Ethiopian woman for a few years, and, needless to say, we were an 'odd' looking couple for Tejas (but very much in love). I've been lucky in that women of all 'colours' have found me suitable for temporary mating rituals.

I did have a Parisian girlfriend for a year or two though. She's the only one I would consider a different 'race'.

verbal assassin · July 1, 2003 8:10PM

Latinas, Latinas, Latinas.

Yeaaaaa

satchmo · July 1, 2003 8:11PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tonton

My daughter

She's half Chinese and half lily white American. This photo was taken about a month ago. She'll be five next month.

She looks adorable. I guess you've just disproved Randycat99's theory that white chicks don't date Asian men.

giaguara · July 1, 2003 8:12PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tonton

My daughter

She's half Chinese and half lily white American. This photo was taken about a month ago. She'll be five next month.

She is pretty.

randycat99 · July 1, 2003 8:34PM

Quote:

Originally posted by satchmo

She looks adorable. I guess you've just disproved Randycat99's theory that white chicks don't date Asian men.

You may find that amusing, but it is a harsh, harsh reality that I live every single day. Do you really think one example means its a free for all of white women on Asian men? A hundred? A thousand? It's still a rare, rare thing (speaking of life in the States, of course). It is a very real discrimination. It may comfort you to discount it over the simplest of anectodal evidence, but I assure you I have a lifetime of experience to say otherwise. The point here is not to present something that compels you to dismiss it because it makes you feel uncomfortable if it really does exist, but to speak out to all women out there that Chinese men are human just like anyone else. Don't discount them as partners outright, and check yourself if you find yourself dismissing them as potentially more than "just a person that makes a good friend".

towel · July 1, 2003 8:36PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tonton

I think it's more likely that most Asian guys choose to exclusively date Asian girls, either because they are more attracted to them, or because it's what's expected. I don't think it has as much to do with the girls not liking Asian guys. Keep trying!

You do see a lot more white boy-asian chick couples [points at self] than the other way around. But I agree with you that much of the reason is self-selection. Most "ethnic" men I know are much more concerned about dating within their group than the woman. Part of that is for identity reasons, I think - in Korean society, for example, the first-born male is the heir, and is still often treated as such. The non-Korean heir that a mixed marriage would produce is almost unthinkable. Part of it is also, I think, based on expectation they have of female behavior. Korean men, again for instance, generally want a very particular sort of Korean woman, and most white chicks just can't play the part. To American eyes, that sterotype of female behavior seems domineering and restrictive, so Korean-American women seem to need little encouragement to try to escape it.

Like most "immigrant" behaviors I think these start to break down after a couple of generations. Asian-Americans have by far the highest rate of inter-racial marriage of any group in the US, both men and woman. Neat link. Check out the difference for Korean-American women vs. Chinese-American women, including US-born (page 2). I wonder how much of that has to due with the expected role of women in the two cultures.

randycat99 · July 1, 2003 8:41PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tonton

I don't think it has as much to do with the girls not liking Asian guys. Keep trying!

You better believe it is. Don't cavalierly tell me to just "keep trying". I've "run the race" far too many times, and even though I clearly crossed the finish line first, the "winner" is invariably someone else of more "attractive" skin color. That's just the way things are (unless you are incredibly rich, incredibly good looking, or incredibly popular, in which case anything is possible).

giaguara · July 1, 2003 8:43PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Randycat99

You may find that amusing, but it is a harsh, harsh reality that I live every single day. Do you really think one example means its a free for all of white women on Asian men? A hundred? A thousand? It's still a rare, rare thing (speaking of life in the States, of course). It is a very real discrimination. It may comfort you to discount it over the simplest of anectodal evidence, but I assure you I have a lifetime of experience to say otherwise. The point here is not to present something that compels you to dismiss it because it makes you feel uncomfortable if it really does exist, but to speak out to all women out there that Chinese men are human just like anyone else. Don't discount them as partners outright, and check yourself if you find yourself dismissing them as potentially more than "just a person that makes a good friend".

In most parts of europe the asians aren't so common (yet).

i like especially japanese guys, they are pretty. i've never dated one though. (and latins and generally 'mixed' are cool too.)

if i'm (partly of somewhere, partly of elsewhere, and 30-35 % of "unknown origin") 'yurrupean' and with an 'americano', does that count as 'different-race' couple?

Do (did) you, date exclusively within your ethnicity?

Comments