Talk like O'Reilly Day
So much fun was had last week's Talk Like a Pirate Day that a new day was inspired on which people could talk like someone whose every utterance induces howls of laughter from listeners:Ê Friday, September 26 is "Talk Like O'Reilly Day"!
Some advice fore novices who might be asking "How can I talk like O'Reilly?":
Beginners can do impressively well in their first efforts at talking like O'Reilly if they simply remember two words:Ê "SHUT UP!"
You can sharpen your skills by testing them on your boss the first thing Friday morning.Ê When he approaches you at your desk and attempts to assign you a task, simply yell "SHUT UP!"Ê before he has a chance to finish a sentence.Ê Each time he opens his mouth to talk to you, scream "SHUT UP!" or "SHUT UP!Ê SHUT....UP!"
Once you've detected a fair amount of frustration on his face and your coworkers begin to gather on the scene, point to someone at random and yell "You!ÊYou! Cut his mic!ÊCut his mic!"
You'll be amazed at how easy it is to Talk Like O'Reilly.Ê Once you master the basics, you can begin to include other O'Reilly classics in your repertoire.Ê Some suggestions:
*\tMake up some dramatic stories about your blue-collar upbringing, including telling anyone who will listen that you were standing up for the little guy at the age of 2.
*\tRead about a local court case, and then call up the local Bar association to complain about one of the lawyers and request disciplinary action be taken against him.Ê If you're told his conduct is within ethical boundaries, berate the bar association as a sleazy clique of amoral parasites.
*\tEach time you hear someone say "fair," "balanced," or "and," run to the boss and demand he file a lawsuit against that person
*\tSteer every conversation toward a discussion of the fact that we're currently fighting World War III
*\tDelivery and inflection are important as well.Ê Bobble your head from side to side, raise your eyebrows, and point your finger as you assert your opinions.
Some advice fore novices who might be asking "How can I talk like O'Reilly?":
Beginners can do impressively well in their first efforts at talking like O'Reilly if they simply remember two words:Ê "SHUT UP!"
You can sharpen your skills by testing them on your boss the first thing Friday morning.Ê When he approaches you at your desk and attempts to assign you a task, simply yell "SHUT UP!"Ê before he has a chance to finish a sentence.Ê Each time he opens his mouth to talk to you, scream "SHUT UP!" or "SHUT UP!Ê SHUT....UP!"
Once you've detected a fair amount of frustration on his face and your coworkers begin to gather on the scene, point to someone at random and yell "You!ÊYou! Cut his mic!ÊCut his mic!"
You'll be amazed at how easy it is to Talk Like O'Reilly.Ê Once you master the basics, you can begin to include other O'Reilly classics in your repertoire.Ê Some suggestions:
*\tMake up some dramatic stories about your blue-collar upbringing, including telling anyone who will listen that you were standing up for the little guy at the age of 2.
*\tRead about a local court case, and then call up the local Bar association to complain about one of the lawyers and request disciplinary action be taken against him.Ê If you're told his conduct is within ethical boundaries, berate the bar association as a sleazy clique of amoral parasites.
*\tEach time you hear someone say "fair," "balanced," or "and," run to the boss and demand he file a lawsuit against that person
*\tSteer every conversation toward a discussion of the fact that we're currently fighting World War III
*\tDelivery and inflection are important as well.Ê Bobble your head from side to side, raise your eyebrows, and point your finger as you assert your opinions.
Comments
<shuts off guest's mic>
Then I saw The Factor last night and he had a long segment about how bad Al Franken is because Al was swearing or something. He was visibly shaking while talking about Franken.
I think his time is just about up.
http://alfrankenweb.com/
You america hating scumbag.
But I do a great Jim Rome impression!
"Keep it pithy."
"Name and town. Name and town. Name and town."
"..and THAT's the Talking Points memo."
Oh. And who can forget:
"Welcome to Current Affair. I'm Bill O'Reilly."
Originally posted by dstranathan
"Welcome to Current Affair. I'm Bill O'Reilly."
"I won a Peabody, dammit!"
The man has more egos than cats have lives.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/horsey/print.asp?id=898
hehe...
Try it it's fun. I need to practice more.
Originally posted by chu_bakka
This cartoon sums up Fox pretty well...
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/horsey/print.asp?id=898
If "pretty well" means "not really and not humorous" then you're right.
Maybe you're upset because it rings too true? Boo hoo poor hannity and o'reilly.
oh wait... that's "Talk About O'Reilly Day".
we now return you to your regularly scheduled lobotomy, already in progress
Shut the **** up
Read some of the entries at Eschaton.
Hilarious.
Originally posted by chu_bakka
hehe... and Al is a top the NY Times bestsellers list again! 4 weeks in a row.
At least you think so...being the New York Times and all, you can never bee too certain.
Oh yeah... the book couldn't possibly be popular...
It's written by a liberal.
SHUT UP! I don't wanna hear your whining. We know what your position is!
If the Times distorted the bestseller's list... the Rush and Coulter would never be on it... CUT HIS MIC.
Originally posted by chu_bakka
Actually... it's going into it's 5th week at the top.
Oh yeah... the book couldn't possibly be popular...
It's written by a liberal.
SHUT UP! I don't wanna hear your whining. We know what your position is!
If the Times distorted the bestseller's list... the Rush and Coulter would never be on it... CUT HIS MIC.
It is possible that the liberal slant has gone on for so long and become so predictable that it has become white noise: a high, steady whine that drones on in the background until at last it stops being heard.
-Noemie Emery