Normally, in a situation like the one I'm in right now, I'd be pissed at the world and I'd be inclined to say that nothing good can come of it. See, a week ago, I lost a good friend of mine. She died before her time, because of cystic fibrosis. My friend Angie was only 20 and her funeral was on Saturday. My friends and I had quite a few drinks to her but it didn't numb the pain, nothing could. Plenty of people at the funeral said about how great God and Jesus were, and I took a little solace in the fact that she wasn't suffering from her pain anymore, but I took no comfort in their saying that "God has a plan." It just made me angry. If God's plan was to take away a beautiful person from us so early in her life, then I wasn't really a fan of God.
The last few days have been hard for me. Today I would occasionally just start crying as I remembered something Angie would do.
But then I started realizing all the wonderful things people have been doing. They've been there for me in these hard times. We spent some time at Angie's mother's house just having a carefree, good time with games and food. I got time off work to attend the funeral within 15 minutes of calling some people, without having to resort to an appeal for pity (which I don't want). And just today, I was carrying a very heavy package to the post office and a random stranger on the street helped me out with it, allowing me to get to work on time.
So, these little things add up. Nothing can fill the void that Angie's death has left, but every little bit helps. I don't believe in "miracles" per se but after this, I definitely have confidence in the powers of human kindness and sympathy.
By the way, here's a picture of her. I got another one printed and framed.
I am not going to put any spin on what good might have come out of her dying, but if I am any judge of people, I'd say that she was probably very lucky to have had you in her life, and likewise, you were lucky to have had her in your life.
Let your memories of her, shine in your heart Luca
It's a miracle I'm still alive at all so everyday, regardless of whatever crap happens, I just call it even. Frankly, I'm probably still a little ahead of the game (crosses fingers.)
Luca, thank you for your post. I am very sorry for the death of your friend. Your words show how much beauty she brought to your life. The closing words, from Sinatra, show a deep feeling that this beauty will continue.
If I may, I will tell you a very personal story: About 20 years ago, as a very, very, mixed up young man, I went for a walk with my best friend on a very cold night. We spoke about a lot of things, but eventually he posed a fundamental question, asking: "If this world ended right now - if we all died - would any of it have mattered?" My final reply - one that has been the foundation of my life since then - was "Yes".
Luca, your friend's life mattered very much, and will always matter.
Hey Luca. I've never been much for comforting words, so I'll limit myself to this:
God does not expect you to be happy just because He has a plan involving the too soon death of your friend. That would be the same as expecting a soldier to be happy when a general says some people won't make through the battle ahead. Your comfort will only come from what you have realized already: she doesn't suffer anymore. To paraphrase C.S. Lewis: "The joy of Heaven will work backwards in a life to turn every agony into a glory." If you know your friend is in Heaven, then you can know that she is at rest and any agony she experienced here is nothing next to the joy she has now. But then, you probably already know that.
Heh, everyday miracles? Those are the most amazing for it is the miracles that happen everyday that truly show you that God must be. Why else would a child's smile warm us in our hearts? Why else would some people love to feel the rain on their face or smell the blooming flowers of Spring?
Big miracles happen, but they will be forgotten over time. It is the small miracles that remind us everyday that God loves everyone. "It rains on the just and the unjust alike."
For my own self, the everyday miracles are just what I said: seeing my nieces and nephews laughing, feeling the cold wind or the warm sun, feeling the rain and smelling the flowers.
"God of wonders beyond our glaxay, You are holy.
The universe declares Your majesty, You are holy."
Actually, I'm between computers right now too and I don't have iChat most of the time. Fellowship and I talked a bit tonight, about serious stuff and about fun carefree stuff (both of which are very important) and the computer I'm making do with is a PowerBook 1400. Nice machine, but very slow (133 MHz) and it can't run a version of AIM new enough to support .mac screen names. So I go to the computer lab in my dorm, which is open 24/7, and use the iMacs there.
Anyway, I am an agnostic at heart and I might always be one. If there is a God, maybe sometime I can figure out why he would let something like this happen, and maybe not. If not I can do what I mentioned before - I can realize that at least she's not suffering anymore. But that's not a whole lot of comfort. I don't really believe in heaven (although I do consider reincarnation to be a possibility) and it seems like a bittersweet idea anyway - it takes away your pain, but at the price of your loved ones.
In fact, I don't think I can really ever accept an organized religion. I don't think they're bad but my problem with them is that they are, at best, an approximation of a belief system. I can come up with my own belief system but I can't just pick a pre-packaged one to use because if not every aspect fits, it's not right. A friend of mine put it well when he said to not look to God or Jesus for support, but rather to look to the memory of Angie for it. She's locked into the memories of all her family and friends, and the most important thing is to remember her.
Well, now this is getting to be just thoughtful rambling, and it's really late, so I'll sign off and head to bed. The rest of this semester will certainly be difficult for me but there are lots of people here at home and lots of people out there in internet-land who can help me through it. Thanks a lot everyone!
Normally, in a situation like the one I'm in right now, I'd be pissed at the world and I'd be inclined to say that nothing good can come of it. See, a week ago, I lost a good friend of mine. She died before her time, because of cystic fibrosis. My friend Angie was only 20 and her funeral was on Saturday. My friends and I had quite a few drinks to her but it didn't numb the pain, nothing could. Plenty of people at the funeral said about how great God and Jesus were, and I took a little solace in the fact that she wasn't suffering from her pain anymore, but I took no comfort in their saying that "God has a plan." It just made me angry. If God's plan was to take away a beautiful person from us so early in her life, then I wasn't really a fan of God.
The last few days have been hard for me. Today I would occasionally just start crying as I remembered something Angie would do.
But then I started realizing all the wonderful things people have been doing. They've been there for me in these hard times. We spent some time at Angie's mother's house just having a carefree, good time with games and food. I got time off work to attend the funeral within 15 minutes of calling some people, without having to resort to an appeal for pity (which I don't want). And just today, I was carrying a very heavy package to the post office and a random stranger on the street helped me out with it, allowing me to get to work on time.
So, these little things add up. Nothing can fill the void that Angie's death has left, but every little bit helps. I don't believe in "miracles" per se but after this, I definitely have confidence in the powers of human kindness and sympathy.
By the way, here's a picture of her. I got another one printed and framed.
sorry for your loss. i have cystic fibrosis (terrible disease that takes so many young lives) but i fortunate to get a double lung transplant
When I sink to the floor in a grey cloud of unrefined opium smoke I hear in my ear the gentle, pleasing whisper of my Dark Lord, Shaitan. He soothes me. He promises me that all will be well. All will be well, he says, and all manner of things will be well.
It is a miracle. My career, my love life, yes, even my physical appearance ? all appear to be enhanced since I exchanged my immortal soul for gain in the here and now.
Comments
The last few days have been hard for me. Today I would occasionally just start crying as I remembered something Angie would do.
But then I started realizing all the wonderful things people have been doing. They've been there for me in these hard times. We spent some time at Angie's mother's house just having a carefree, good time with games and food. I got time off work to attend the funeral within 15 minutes of calling some people, without having to resort to an appeal for pity (which I don't want). And just today, I was carrying a very heavy package to the post office and a random stranger on the street helped me out with it, allowing me to get to work on time.
So, these little things add up. Nothing can fill the void that Angie's death has left, but every little bit helps. I don't believe in "miracles" per se but after this, I definitely have confidence in the powers of human kindness and sympathy.
By the way, here's a picture of her. I got another one printed and framed.
My deepest condolences.
I am not going to put any spin on what good might have come out of her dying, but if I am any judge of people, I'd say that she was probably very lucky to have had you in her life, and likewise, you were lucky to have had her in your life.
Let your memories of her, shine in your heart Luca
Fellows
If I may, I will tell you a very personal story: About 20 years ago, as a very, very, mixed up young man, I went for a walk with my best friend on a very cold night. We spoke about a lot of things, but eventually he posed a fundamental question, asking: "If this world ended right now - if we all died - would any of it have mattered?" My final reply - one that has been the foundation of my life since then - was "Yes".
Luca, your friend's life mattered very much, and will always matter.
God does not expect you to be happy just because He has a plan involving the too soon death of your friend. That would be the same as expecting a soldier to be happy when a general says some people won't make through the battle ahead. Your comfort will only come from what you have realized already: she doesn't suffer anymore. To paraphrase C.S. Lewis: "The joy of Heaven will work backwards in a life to turn every agony into a glory." If you know your friend is in Heaven, then you can know that she is at rest and any agony she experienced here is nothing next to the joy she has now. But then, you probably already know that.
Big miracles happen, but they will be forgotten over time. It is the small miracles that remind us everyday that God loves everyone. "It rains on the just and the unjust alike."
For my own self, the everyday miracles are just what I said: seeing my nieces and nephews laughing, feeling the cold wind or the warm sun, feeling the rain and smelling the flowers.
"God of wonders beyond our glaxay, You are holy.
The universe declares Your majesty, You are holy."
Originally posted by FellowshipChurch iBook
I am very sorry Luca. IM me anytime or iChat.
Fellows
Fellows, just a point...I don't have ichat.
Good grief..I am way behind the times...
Anyway, I am an agnostic at heart and I might always be one. If there is a God, maybe sometime I can figure out why he would let something like this happen, and maybe not. If not I can do what I mentioned before - I can realize that at least she's not suffering anymore. But that's not a whole lot of comfort. I don't really believe in heaven (although I do consider reincarnation to be a possibility) and it seems like a bittersweet idea anyway - it takes away your pain, but at the price of your loved ones.
In fact, I don't think I can really ever accept an organized religion. I don't think they're bad but my problem with them is that they are, at best, an approximation of a belief system. I can come up with my own belief system but I can't just pick a pre-packaged one to use because if not every aspect fits, it's not right. A friend of mine put it well when he said to not look to God or Jesus for support, but rather to look to the memory of Angie for it. She's locked into the memories of all her family and friends, and the most important thing is to remember her.
Well, now this is getting to be just thoughtful rambling, and it's really late, so I'll sign off and head to bed. The rest of this semester will certainly be difficult for me but there are lots of people here at home and lots of people out there in internet-land who can help me through it. Thanks a lot everyone!
Originally posted by Luca Rescigno
Normally, in a situation like the one I'm in right now, I'd be pissed at the world and I'd be inclined to say that nothing good can come of it. See, a week ago, I lost a good friend of mine. She died before her time, because of cystic fibrosis. My friend Angie was only 20
The last few days have been hard for me. Today I would occasionally just start crying as I remembered something Angie would do.
But then I started realizing all the wonderful things people have been doing. They've been there for me in these hard times. We spent some time at Angie's mother's house just having a carefree, good time with games and food. I got time off work to attend the funeral within 15 minutes of calling some people, without having to resort to an appeal for pity (which I don't want). And just today, I was carrying a very heavy package to the post office and a random stranger on the street helped me out with it, allowing me to get to work on time.
So, these little things add up. Nothing can fill the void that Angie's death has left, but every little bit helps. I don't believe in "miracles" per se but after this, I definitely have confidence in the powers of human kindness and sympathy.
By the way, here's a picture of her. I got another one printed and framed.
sorry for your loss. i have cystic fibrosis (terrible disease that takes so many young lives) but i fortunate to get a double lung transplant
It is a miracle. My career, my love life, yes, even my physical appearance ? all appear to be enhanced since I exchanged my immortal soul for gain in the here and now.
Try it.
Internet
The Holy Ghost
Peace
Personal Revelation
Holy Writ
Prayer
Family
Food/Housing/Emloyment
Pure Religion
Health
Feeling Flustered Around a Girl I Like
People that say hi to me
Good Movies
Fresh Air
These are a few of my favorite things.
Each one is a little ("every day") maricle to me.
Alexander the Great