The toughest decisions you've ever made...
I have a tough time making decisions. I guess that's because I become obsessive about examining and considering every possible contingency from every angle. (God forbid that a mistake should be made!!! 
)
It took me three years of looking across the entire city before I decided on a house to buy. On the positive side, once I finally decide, I *usually* have no regrets, because I have thought about and weighed every possible consideration.
For example, when I planned my house, these are some of the things I *decided* I needed, and 'required' from the builder before I would sign the contract to build:
~ the south windows would provide sunlight in winter. Therefore, any house built to the south of mine would 'have' to be a one-story house, so that winter sunlight (sun low in the sky) would NOT be obstructed.
~ household utility boxes would 'have' to be on the 'side' of the house, not the front (what eyesores they are).
~ NO large community electrical boxes could be located on my property.
~ I wanted to have two of the four bedrooms made into a large loft library overlooking the living room, which required redesigning the blueprints for: walls and closets eliminated, extra steel structural support for the sides of the house, redesign of air-conditioning ducts and soffits.
I had even taken the trouble to chart the path of the sun in the sky during all seasons, so I could have the house facing the right way to catch maximum light most of the year.
Then I spent 3 months planning the landscape design so I would have trees shading the TOO-sunny west side of the house during hot summers (design to include 115 flowering bushes and plants with a color-coordinated palette. heh).
All those decisions went well and I have never had even *one* regret wrt the house.
BUT....a major decision that I *really* screwed up was marrying the guy I married when I was a senior in college. I had *SO* much trouble making that decision. I guess my *indecision* should have been my first clue - that that marriage was not a wise choice. Sigh.
NOW.....I'm trying to decide whether to apply for and take a year's leave from teaching. I have a feeling that once I get away from it - at least teaching *jr. high* - that I'll 'never' want to return. I'm having a terrible time making this decision. I change my mind (literally) on an hourly basis.
Anybody else wrestle with making decisions? Or do guys have less trouble than females in making these major life choices?
Thanks for any replies.
Carol
)It took me three years of looking across the entire city before I decided on a house to buy. On the positive side, once I finally decide, I *usually* have no regrets, because I have thought about and weighed every possible consideration.
For example, when I planned my house, these are some of the things I *decided* I needed, and 'required' from the builder before I would sign the contract to build:
~ the south windows would provide sunlight in winter. Therefore, any house built to the south of mine would 'have' to be a one-story house, so that winter sunlight (sun low in the sky) would NOT be obstructed.
~ household utility boxes would 'have' to be on the 'side' of the house, not the front (what eyesores they are).
~ NO large community electrical boxes could be located on my property.
~ I wanted to have two of the four bedrooms made into a large loft library overlooking the living room, which required redesigning the blueprints for: walls and closets eliminated, extra steel structural support for the sides of the house, redesign of air-conditioning ducts and soffits.
I had even taken the trouble to chart the path of the sun in the sky during all seasons, so I could have the house facing the right way to catch maximum light most of the year.
Then I spent 3 months planning the landscape design so I would have trees shading the TOO-sunny west side of the house during hot summers (design to include 115 flowering bushes and plants with a color-coordinated palette. heh).
All those decisions went well and I have never had even *one* regret wrt the house.
BUT....a major decision that I *really* screwed up was marrying the guy I married when I was a senior in college. I had *SO* much trouble making that decision. I guess my *indecision* should have been my first clue - that that marriage was not a wise choice. Sigh.
NOW.....I'm trying to decide whether to apply for and take a year's leave from teaching. I have a feeling that once I get away from it - at least teaching *jr. high* - that I'll 'never' want to return. I'm having a terrible time making this decision.
I change my mind (literally) on an hourly basis.Anybody else wrestle with making decisions? Or do guys have less trouble than females in making these major life choices?
Thanks for any replies.
Carol
Comments
Frankly, I say congrats for teaching jr. high at all. I never could understand what kind of sadist would submit themselves to that, but I had excellent teachers for whom I'm very grateful. I'm sure you've also influenced many students throughout your career and that's something few can claim. I'd say you deserve a break. And perhaps you'll find that you miss teaching. Or decide that you want to teach at a different level. At any rate, I say go for the sabbatical and see what happens from there! Good luck!
-ipod
my decision has since proven to not have been the best as I am now without a job and my wife is teaching full time at a truly mediocre state university
allthough, part of that decision was good in one way in that my daughter is living in the best part of the country for raising kids . . . peaceful, crime-free and open minded enough to not be oppressive. . . .
but Im back on the market next year . . .
These decisions were compounded by many factors that involved life altering elements . . . my wife was pregnant at the time and all of these options were deadline based with staggered deadlines . . .
. . But that is just one decision . . . there have been others . .
edit: Nevermind.
Acting on my hurt feelings wrt my girlfriend last Oct, cheating... etc etc...
I regret that day every time I see a nice piece of lesbian porn. Come to think of it, this may be the root of my lesbian porn obsession.
you sir are an idiot.
Originally posted by murbot
I regret that day every time I see a nice piece of lesbian porn. Come to think of it, this may be the root of my lesbian porn obsession.
Well, I was going to say that it's sure proof you're gay.
The short version:
I was with her for 3-4 years, and we were both incredibly happy together. Beyond *love*, if that's allowed. Every summer she went to live with her grandmother in Greece and I'd travel around the country for a bit...stop in on my folks, maybe...and we'd meet up again afterwards. Usually a 2-3 month stint for the both of us. Sometimes she'd get back sooner, sometimes I.
Anyways, I got an incredible job offer out of state. Her grandmother didn't have a telephone, and I never needed one back then, so we wrote letters back and forth. The job started before she would get back, so I had to write a 'Dear Jane' (or Azeb, in this case) letter.
The most horrible and heart-wrenching thing I've ever had to do.
We talked afterwards, but between her schooling and my career we couldn't make the 2000 mile gap work.
I still think about her constantly.
I've been accepted to Georgetown University, the University of Chicago, Dartmouth, Harvard, Brown, and Denison University.
It's going to be tough to pick one, especially when Denison offered a full-tutition scholarship.
Originally posted by Northgate
Toughest decision I ever made was NOT to track Trumptman and SDW down and beat them senseless.
But North, I'm in SoCal too, and so wanted to be stalked.
I'm not fiftyish, I don't have a bad back. I'd be much better than Al Franken too.
Nick
Originally posted by Naderfan
Holy crap, you do put a lot of effort into your decisions! How do you get dressed every day?
Frankly, I say congrats for teaching jr. high at all. I never could understand what kind of sadist would submit themselves to that, but I had excellent teachers for whom I'm very grateful. I'm sure you've also influenced many students throughout your career and that's something few can claim. I'd say you deserve a break. And perhaps you'll find that you miss teaching. Or decide that you want to teach at a different level. At any rate, I say go for the sabbatical and see what happens from there! Good luck!
Hi Naderfan -
Well, I planned the house carefully in case I decided to stay in it for a long time. I discovered from an apartment I once lived in that I am very affected by quality of light. This particular apt. had one whole wall of windows facing east. The mornings were glorious, with all that wonderful bright light pouring in. But in the afternoons, the light was blue, and I found it *very* depressing.
So my current house is situated so that the only blue light is on the north side of the house, where there are the fewest windows; and other windows and skylights pour in bright light from other directions. So you can see that I did have a reason for my obsessive light requirements. My house has wonderful light and is always very cheerful looking.
I am definitely leaning toward the sabbatical. I've wanted to write books for SO long, but teaching jr. high is too draining for me to write in the evenings after running a classroom all day.
The problem is that I *love* teaching, I love my students, I love being able to change their lives - which you're 'exactly' right - I do on a regular basis. Just this week I got an extremely rebellious girl to read (and LOVE) a book. She hates school, has F's in everything, will undoubtedly get pregnant half-way through 8th grade (probably from a 28-year-old boyfriend!
Thank you. Thank you. No applause please.
Originally posted by alcimedes
let me guess, this one?
No, 'not' that book!
I got her to read a teen novel. If she passes the test on it, she won't get an "F" in my class for 4th quarter.
This girl has an equally-rebellious friend who also had an "F" in my class - up to a month ago. Now she has read and passed tests on 18 novels! In one month! I published her name (among others) in the school newsletter that goes home to 1,000 families. Heh. Hope she wowed her parents.
Originally posted by torifile
Carol,
edit: Nevermind.
Oh dear.
The last time someone said 'nevermind', I got myself in BIG trouble.
So I guess I'll just let it ride this time.
Originally posted by billybobsky
Giving up at least temporarily on getting an MD/PhD in one sitting... I decided to apply to the grad school I was working in last August and have been a grad student since... It makes me sad almost daily...
Acting on my hurt feelings wrt my girlfriend last Oct, cheating... etc etc...
Sad almost daily? Oh no. I feel awful for you.
This *is* something you can remedy down the road, though?
Wouldn't getting an MD and a PhD at the same time be highly stressful for you?
Les.
Originally posted by les t
Carol A, I wanna see a picture of this loft library overlooking your loungeroon!!!! Please post one as it sounds awesome. I think people who have librarys in their house are the best... especially if their library has mostly books, and not dvd's and cd's. (mine is heavy with the latter rather than the former.)
Les.
Hi Les -
Well, I'd love to post a picture of my library. But I'd rather do it when it's all finished. I had one whole wall of shelves custom-made - the shelves are 16' long, in four parts (two top parts, two bottom parts). They were completely filled with books as soon as the shelves were delivered.
I'm sure I have over 2,000 books, though I've never counted them. That's an estimate. I treasure these books, I really do. I had the house built for them! That's why it took me three years to find the perfect floor plan to create a loft/library overlooking the living room - for one thing, because the living room has a fireplace, that I can see and hear from the loft. HAD to be able to see the fire burning merrily along on chilly winter evenings as I sit in the loft and write - or work on my laptop, as I am now.
The truly wondrous thing about my books (imo) is that they were, of course, *all* hand-picked by me, for me. Think of it. An entire library, chock full of books that *I* am dying to read!!! When I walk along the shelves and read the titles, I almost salivate at the prospect. All I need is free time.
So now I need shelving and work surfaces across the whole west wall, and shelves and filing cabinets on the east wall. It is very exciting, but I never have time to measure and go to the office-furniture stores.
Other cool stuff - the loft window facing west is shaded by trees, so the sunlight (instead of being harsh and glaring) is filtered and subtle. And then every night I see the most glorious sunsets through those trees - dark blues, watermelon pinks, mauves, splashes of hot bright yellow-gold...all these colors at once, framed by my window.
The loft is 24' long altogether, with two ceiling fans, two windows, and one skylight. And my beautiful books. Sigh. Sorry for getting carried away, but I do love this loft. (btw, no cd's or dvd's; they're all downstairs)