I am planting a thread.

murbotmurbot
Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
No internet access at home.



I just spent 5 days offline while on a holiday. I spent about 10 minutes online today. It wasn't exciting.



I'll be back tomorrow morning. Please have a nice little thread containing lots of funny things waiting for me when I open this thing up tomorrow.



Thanks! I love you guys.



«1

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 27
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    What did the five fingers say to the face?



    SLAP! I'm Rick James, bitch!



  • Reply 2 of 27
    ghost_user_nameghost_user_name Posts: 22,667member
    Copy, Paste, Yeee!

    Quote:

    Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them.

    "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

    Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

    So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

    "I'm a hit man," was the reply.

    "You're joking!" was the response.

    "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.

    "Here are my tools."

    That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his

    house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her... He's naked as well! That bitch!" He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

    "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

    "Can you do two for me now?"

    "Sure, what do you want?"

    "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.Then the neighbor, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

    The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes

    "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

    "Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."



  • Reply 3 of 27
    homhom Posts: 1,098member
    Look what happened to all your beer while you were gone!

  • Reply 4 of 27
    vargasvargas Posts: 426member
    I did the Iggy!
  • Reply 5 of 27
    carol acarol a Posts: 1,043member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by murbot

    No internet access at home.



    I just spent 5 days offline while on a holiday. I spent about 10 minutes online today. It wasn't exciting.



    I'll be back tomorrow morning. Please have a nice little thread containing lots of funny things waiting for me when I open this thing up tomorrow.



    Thanks! I love you guys.







    Didn't you read the "shared story"? You made what might be called a 'cameo appearance'.



    (...hand grips and all!)
  • Reply 6 of 27
    curiousuburbcuriousuburb Posts: 3,325member
  • Reply 7 of 27
    curiousuburbcuriousuburb Posts: 3,325member




  • Reply 8 of 27
    vargasvargas Posts: 426member
    What is the ULTIMATE in trust?









    Cannibals doing 69
  • Reply 9 of 27
    scottscott Posts: 7,431member
    I worked with a "Newfie".
  • Reply 10 of 27
    billybobskybillybobsky Posts: 1,914member
    round and round we go; where we stop murbot knows...
  • Reply 11 of 27
    curiousuburbcuriousuburb Posts: 3,325member
    *checks to make sure thread has enough light and water*
  • Reply 12 of 27
    scottscott Posts: 7,431member
    Murbot after a hard night drinking.



  • Reply 13 of 27
    scottscott Posts: 7,431member
    That image is actually quite nice. Look at how the muscles come off the eye and the optic nerve heads into the skull. 8)
  • Reply 14 of 27
    vargasvargas Posts: 426member
    Mike Reid contemplates Murbot's demise in his absence



  • Reply 15 of 27
    jubelumjubelum Posts: 4,490member
    Just cause I care, Murbot...

    Thought I should pass THIS along.



    It explains a lot.
  • Reply 16 of 27
    curiousuburbcuriousuburb Posts: 3,325member
    For those times you want to imagine big rocks raining from above, the Asteroid Impact Calculator
  • Reply 17 of 27
    thegeldingthegelding Posts: 3,230member
    i think i found were the bot has been hiding out for the last 5 days on "holiday"







    g





    or maybe he was just away doing this new show
  • Reply 18 of 27
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member




    Murb gets first pick.

    (High res version)
  • Reply 19 of 27
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    /\\



    If only that weren't Photoshopped. I doubt even Trump would have been able to get them to do that.
  • Reply 20 of 27
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    It's legit, my friend. (Yahoo News)
Sign In or Register to comment.