I am planting a thread.
No internet access at home.
I just spent 5 days offline while on a holiday. I spent about 10 minutes online today. It wasn't exciting.
I'll be back tomorrow morning. Please have a nice little thread containing lots of funny things waiting for me when I open this thing up tomorrow.
Thanks! I love you guys.
I just spent 5 days offline while on a holiday. I spent about 10 minutes online today. It wasn't exciting.
I'll be back tomorrow morning. Please have a nice little thread containing lots of funny things waiting for me when I open this thing up tomorrow.
Thanks! I love you guys.
Comments
SLAP! I'm Rick James, bitch!
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them.
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his
house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her... He's naked as well! That bitch!" He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.Then the neighbor, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here..."
Originally posted by murbot
No internet access at home.
I just spent 5 days offline while on a holiday. I spent about 10 minutes online today. It wasn't exciting.
I'll be back tomorrow morning. Please have a nice little thread containing lots of funny things waiting for me when I open this thing up tomorrow.
Thanks! I love you guys.
Didn't you read the "shared story"? You made what might be called a 'cameo appearance'.
(...hand grips and all!)
Cannibals doing 69
Thought I should pass THIS along.
It explains a lot.
g
or maybe he was just away doing this new show
Murb gets first pick.
(High res version)
If only that weren't Photoshopped. I doubt even Trump would have been able to get them to do that.