Marriage is great stuff . . . . it can also be the hardest stuff in the world . . . good luck and congratulations
I will interject one thing here . . . one thing that the heathen-folk have on all you pious peoples is that we know how to make sure before we do anything rash: I lived with my girlfriend for five years 'in Sin' before we realised that we could live through almost anything together . . . . I would recommend that . . . but it appears to be too late allready . . . so, . . . good luck, and congratulations.
PS . . . just one question . . . have you woken up together and seen her all morning-breathed and scraggley yet?!?!?
Your love WILL NOT save your marriage, but your marriage WILL save your love.
Now correct me if I'm wrong . . . but wouldn't someone who's relationship is not working and who desperately thinks marriage is the answer say something like that?
or does it mean something else?
I agree with the 'water being deep' part though . . .
Interestingly enough Pfflam, the stats don't really support your advice, IIRC, a while ago there were some interesting, and counter-intuitive, findings about marital success : those who co-habitate have a higher rate of divorce than those who don't; similarly, those with long engagements have a higher rate of divorce than those without. Only long courtships, AFAIR, had no negative impact on marital success. However, I can't recall the source right now, and it may be disproved by more modern research.
Interestingly enough Pfflam, the stats don't really support your advice, IIRC, a while ago there were some interesting, and counter-intuitive, findings about marital success : those who co-habitate have a higher rate of divorce than those who don't; similarly, those with long engagements have a higher rate of divorce than those without. Only long courtships, AFAIR, had no negative impact on marital success. However, I can't recall the source right now, and it may be disproved by more modern research.
I think it is a real finding, confirmed by a number of different studies. My impression is that there were two issues: 1) Perhaps many people just have a limited amount of time that they can spend with others - say, 10 years. If you live together for 5 years, your 10 years is up after just 5 years of marriage. 2) There's a serious selection problem with the research. People who would be willing to live together may have very different attitudes than those who don't. If you don't live together, you may be more traditional, and thus less prone to divorce. So living together may not be a causal factor, or maybe just a weak one.
Now correct me if I'm wrong . . . but wouldn't someone who's relationship is not working and who desperately thinks marriage is the answer say something like that?
Nasty - nasty pfflam, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were being a bad boy [agian].
But seriously, I've been married for twelve years. In my experience (unless you're just sharing the same living space -- some couples do) that it takes the marriage bond to force two individuals to resolve their differences.
.....this quote has a tangent on this:
Quote:
Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soulmate is the one you are actually married to.
First of all congrats with the upcomming marriage but a small advice on the photo's:
Next time focus more on your wife to be instead of the cat and the surroundings cause a 'stranger' would think that 'Heather' is the cat cause it is in the pictures so center-staged instead of your wife to be...
I appriciate all of the advice and warm wishes It is a great time in my life to arrive at this chapter in the book of life. My life has been a mix of blessings, learning, joy and at times sadness with the loss of my father for example. I must share with you how blessed I am to be able to share my life with Heather. Heather is a soft and tender person with a heart of gold. She is a big picture as well as details oriented person with vision and goals. She is also humble and and has compassion for those with needs. She and I enjoy the fact that we are both very well adjusted individuals who just happen to both be extreme people of faith. We are the kind of people who like to put our money where our mouth is so to speak. We enjoy and share appriciation for similar taste in art, fashion, reading, liesure time, travel and charity. This being said there is one quality that sticks out above the rest and that is our chemistry. We each truly respect and love the other and this extends to our greater family at large. We are always honest with each other and not afraid to communicate anything with each other. We have complete trust in each other and I believe this stems from our shared faith. We live by faith and by love and we align our priorities accordingly.
I hope our love never fails. I trust that our love will last
Next time focus more on your wife to be instead of the cat and the surroundings cause a 'stranger' would think that 'Heather' is the cat cause it is in the pictures so center-staged instead of your wife to be...
I sure did I was like "okaaaaaay...dude likes his cat". which isn't at all unusual A. here and B. on the Internets.
Comments
that thing in front of your home (im assuming thats your home), what is it????
Originally posted by Fellowship
I can't even tell you how wonderful Heather is....
I am a Blessed man..
Fellowship
Congrats.
If she's as wonderful as my love, you are blessed. I know I am. Gonna get married this summer/asap, tsunamis be damned.
We've been "together" for years, I met her in the states but we live apart while I try to set up a business here and there.
Can I borrow that rock for a couple of weeks?
Originally posted by Scott
Is it legal to marry cats where you live?
I counted 3 cats. He must live in Utah.
I will interject one thing here . . . one thing that the heathen-folk have on all you pious peoples is that we know how to make sure before we do anything rash: I lived with my girlfriend for five years 'in Sin' before we realised that we could live through almost anything together . . . . I would recommend that . . . but it appears to be too late allready . . . so, . . . good luck, and congratulations.
PS . . . just one question . . . have you woken up together and seen her all morning-breathed and scraggley yet?!?!?
smelled her burnt garlic and cabbage farts yet?
--PPA: just ribbin ya . . .
Originally posted by pfflam
....woken up together and seen her all morning-breathed and scraggley yet?!?!?
smelled her burnt garlic and cabbage farts yet?
Don't listen to him -- Fellows!!
(It takes at least 12 years for the unthinkable to manifest itself.)
But seriously....
Whatever you do, remember this:
Your love WILL NOT save your marriage, but your marriage WILL save your love. Jump in, the water's warm -- but it's deep.
it's a great thing to have, a good marriage
needs work and effort as well, but worth your while
Originally posted by dmz
Your love WILL NOT save your marriage, but your marriage WILL save your love.
Now correct me if I'm wrong . . . but wouldn't someone who's relationship is not working and who desperately thinks marriage is the answer say something like that?
or does it mean something else?
I agree with the 'water being deep' part though . . .
Originally posted by Matsu
Interestingly enough Pfflam, the stats don't really support your advice, IIRC, a while ago there were some interesting, and counter-intuitive, findings about marital success : those who co-habitate have a higher rate of divorce than those who don't; similarly, those with long engagements have a higher rate of divorce than those without. Only long courtships, AFAIR, had no negative impact on marital success. However, I can't recall the source right now, and it may be disproved by more modern research.
I think it is a real finding, confirmed by a number of different studies. My impression is that there were two issues: 1) Perhaps many people just have a limited amount of time that they can spend with others - say, 10 years. If you live together for 5 years, your 10 years is up after just 5 years of marriage. 2) There's a serious selection problem with the research. People who would be willing to live together may have very different attitudes than those who don't. If you don't live together, you may be more traditional, and thus less prone to divorce. So living together may not be a causal factor, or maybe just a weak one.
Originally posted by pfflam
Now correct me if I'm wrong . . . but wouldn't someone who's relationship is not working and who desperately thinks marriage is the answer say something like that?
Nasty - nasty pfflam, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were being a bad boy [agian].
But seriously, I've been married for twelve years. In my experience (unless you're just sharing the same living space -- some couples do) that it takes the marriage bond to force two individuals to resolve their differences.
.....this quote has a tangent on this:
Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soulmate is the one you are actually married to.
-- _J.R.R. Tolkien
Next time focus more on your wife to be instead of the cat and the surroundings cause a 'stranger' would think that 'Heather' is the cat cause it is in the pictures so center-staged instead of your wife to be...
I appriciate all of the advice and warm wishes
I hope our love never fails. I trust that our love will last
I will do all I can to love my wife to be.
Thank you all once again for your replies,
Fellowship
Originally posted by CMA
Next time focus more on your wife to be instead of the cat and the surroundings cause a 'stranger' would think that 'Heather' is the cat cause it is in the pictures so center-staged instead of your wife to be...
I sure did
Originally posted by johnq
I sure did