Scientology

Posted:
in AppleOutsider edited January 2014
Here's a religion that everyone can enjoy mocking! I heard about it again recently because of Tom Cruise talking about it as he promotes his newest blockbuster.



Here is how the Church of Scientology defines itself:
Quote:

What is Scientology?



The aims of Scientology are a world without insanity, without criminals, without war, where the able can prosper and where Man is free to rise to greater heights.



And if you were to ask any Scientologist they would tell you it is a practical religion, with practical answers ? tools that can be applied to achieve greater awareness and purpose in the here and now.



Here's what the Wikipedia article on Scientology says about it:
Quote:

The central beliefs of Scientology (or rather the early teachings) are that a person is an immortal spiritual being (referred to as a thetan) who possesses a mind and a body, and that the person is basically good. The life one should lead is one of continual spiritual and ethical education, awareness, and improvement, so that he/she can be happy and achieve ultimate salvation, as well as being more effective in creating a better world. Scientology claims to offer specific methodologies to assist a person to achieve this.



Spirituality, awareness, yadda yadda. OK, whatever. But then in the next paragraph:
Quote:

Those that reach the higher teachings (OT III) within the Church of Scientology will learn all about Xenu, the evil intergalactic ruler who implanted "thetans" or alien spirits, in earth's volcanoes 75 million years ago, after which they escaped and invaded human bodies. The ultimate belief of Scientology is that you are possessed by the spirits of aliens murdered 75 million years ago by "Xenu" and you have to exorcise these spirits. The cost of reaching OT III approaches $360,000.



Uh, an evil galactic ruler named xenu who implanted aliens in volcanoes 75 million years ago?



Apparently L. Ron Hubbard made all this stuff up in order to make money.
«13

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 53
    www.xenu.net



    More info than you could ever want about this so-called 'religion' (read: cult).
  • Reply 2 of 53
    auroraaurora Posts: 1,142member
    I want to make a religion that uses the Starship Enterprise for intergalactic Holy Rolling but you have to reach a higher state before you can accomplish that. Plus i will only charge $340,000. Thats a deal!! Funny how man needs a idol of some sort isnt it? Scientology use to almost force themself on folks in Clearwater years ago. Like the world needs another fricking man made religion. Its about two things, first is your money,2nd is your mind. Its what all the worlds pathetic religions have in common. Nothing like telling others how to live.
  • Reply 3 of 53
    jesperasjesperas Posts: 524member
    A religion around the Starship Enterprise would probably violate copyright. I'd go for something in the public domain, like Jules Verne or H.G. Wells. Morlocks make great cult material.
  • Reply 4 of 53
    shetlineshetline Posts: 4,695member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by BRussell

    Uh, an evil galactic ruler named xenu who implanted aliens in volcanoes 75 million years ago?



    Ah, now that explains why those Dianetics commercials which used to run on TV featured a graphic of an erupting volcano.



    At any rate, it should be obvious to any fool that Xenu is only one of three evil intergalactic rulers, which include Xenu's son Xandor, and Xenu's holographic alter ego, Skip. Scientology is such a complete incoherent mess because these crazy scientologists have failed to understand the unifying power of triune evil overlording.



    I for one welcome our new trinitarian evil overlords.
  • Reply 5 of 53
    auroraaurora Posts: 1,142member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by shetline

    Ah, now that explains why those Dianetics commercials which used to run on TV featured a graphic of an erupting volcano.



    At any rate, it should be obvious to any fool that Xenu is only one of three evil intergalactic rulers, which include Xenu's son Xandor, and Xenu's holographic alter ego, Skip. Scientology is such a complete incoherent mess because these crazy scientologists have failed to understand the unifying power of triune evil overlording.



    I for one welcome our new trinitarian evil overlords.




    I wonder if they caught on that L.Ron Hubbard wrote Science Fiction??? or that he was a tax dodger living on his boat??? Funny. People are a mess and all the religions of the world want to help
  • Reply 6 of 53
    I found this site that really shows how Tom Cruise uses his scientological powers to brainwash other celebrities.



    It's quite shocking.



    http://tcruiseko.ytmnd.com/
  • Reply 7 of 53
    bergzbergz Posts: 1,045member
    Quote:

    a person is an immortal spiritual being (referred to as a thetan) who possesses a mind and a body



    this is the funniest part. totally goes against the five Aggregates. just plays on death-fear.



    --B
  • Reply 8 of 53
    as crazy as scientology is, is it any nuttier than any of the other world religions? christianity, islam, Judaism, buddhism, and those crazy kids in utah, all have some rather bizarre beliefs when it come right down to it.
  • Reply 9 of 53
    andersanders Posts: 6,523member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by running with scissors

    as crazy as scientology is, is it any nuttier than any of the other world religions? christianity, islam, Judaism, buddhism, and those crazy kids in utah, all have some rather bizarre beliefs when it come right down to it.



    Amen.



    Scientology is somewhere in the middle of Christianity, Coca-Colaism, Scientism and the Jobs Cult.



    Just because a faith has been around for longer doesn´t make it more legitimate. The feeling of the believer is not more or less false. Its true for him or her.
  • Reply 10 of 53
    e1618978e1618978 Posts: 6,075member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Anders

    Amen.



    Scientology is somewhere in the middle of Christianity, Coca-Colaism, Scientism and the Jobs Cult.



    Just because a faith has been around for longer doesn´t make it more legitimate. The feeling of the believer is not more or less false. Its true for him or her.




    Also, if you tythe at 10% like the Church asks you too, you will pay more than $360K over your lifetime.



    The target audience (rich people) able to pay $360K to the scientologists would pay way more than that to the Church as tythes, so the Scientologists are saving those people money!
  • Reply 11 of 53
    One evening, some time ago, I set up my camera across the street from the Scientology office in Toronto and took a flash photograph every 5 minutes.



    After watching people scurry around the building, picking up phones, glancing out the doors at me, and twice asking me what I was doing, the police showed up. The Scientologists wanted to file trespass charges against me.



    I argued that I was on the public sidewalk ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET.



    They were under the impression, then, that I could not take pictures of their private building.



    The cop was having none of their crap, and not so politely thanked them for wasting his time.



    After the cop left, the Scientology staff came outside with signs, and stood right in front of my camera. I started taking pictures of the staff who were blocking me and it was like I'd farted. They scampered back into the building so quickly.



    Aah. The good old days when I had nothing better to do with my time.



    One good thing about cults: They're fun to play with (excepting the ones with guns).
  • Reply 12 of 53
    bergzbergz Posts: 1,045member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by running with scissors

    as crazy as scientology is, is it any nuttier than any of the other world religions? christianity, islam, Judaism, buddhism, and those crazy kids in utah, all have some rather bizarre beliefs when it come right down to it.



    buddhism?



    --B
  • Reply 13 of 53
    brussellbrussell Posts: 9,812member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by audiopollution

    One evening, some time ago, I set up my camera across the street from the Scientology office in Toronto and took a flash photograph every 5 minutes.



    That's pretty weird. Why would you do that?
  • Reply 14 of 53
    Quote:

    Originally posted by BRussell

    That's pretty weird. Why would you do that?



    I was bored. They seemed like a legitimate target for some confusion.
  • Reply 15 of 53
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    OMG
  • Reply 16 of 53
    tulkastulkas Posts: 3,754member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by audiopollution

    I was bored. They seemed like a legitimate target for some confusion.



    hmmm pissing of Scientologists....that never ends well...
  • Reply 17 of 53
    iposteriposter Posts: 1,560member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by BRussell

    Uh, an evil galactic ruler named xenu who implanted aliens in volcanoes 75 million years ago? [/B]



    How is that any crazier than a god who created billions of stars with millions of planets, all for the sole benefit of some bipedal hominids (who just happen to be made in that god's image) on one small blue planet?



    (not that I think very highly of Scientology either)
  • Reply 18 of 53
    e1618978e1618978 Posts: 6,075member
    The Ottawa Scientologists use very pretty women on the street, to try and get you to come in and watch a video.



    I was weak, and it took me an hour or so to get free.



    At least the Hare Krishnas would give me free food - I got nothing from the scientologists.
  • Reply 19 of 53
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Tulkas

    hmmm pissing of Scientologists....that never ends well...



    When we were standing with the policeman, they tried to get my name four or five times. I explained that I wasn't comfortable giving them my name considering the things I'd read about them. The cop seemed to be fairly clued in and told them that I didn't have to. I've yet to have someone standing outside my place taking pictures so I think I made it out alive!



    They're not the friendliest folks when they're pissed off, but it's those damned Shriners that you've gotta watch out for.
  • Reply 20 of 53
    brussellbrussell Posts: 9,812member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by iPoster

    How is that any crazier than a god who created billions of stars with millions of planets, all for the sole benefit of some bipedal hominids (who just happen to be made in that god's image) on one small blue planet?



    (not that I think very highly of Scientology either)




    It's just how specific and involved the Scientology thing is. I mean, they even know the evil intergalactic ruler's name.



    It's one thing to think there must be a creator. Most of the major religions around today were created long before we understood that we were just one small planet. It's perfectly understandable to think there was a creator, IMO.



    But in general, I think you're right that religions you're not familiar with seem weird, whereas the ones you know (not to mention believe in) don't.
Sign In or Register to comment.