512ke

"Dude don't drive. Your blood alcohol level is high."

"Do you really need to eat those Pringles? Your body fat ratio is already wonky."

"You seem to be playing video games. Remember you have your first appointment tomorrow at 8 a.m."

kidding aside I think focusing on health makes sense. The Fitbit is doing great. People want wearable health tech. 

I look forward to the day when you can take your Apple Watch into the wilderness and have it run for days giving you reliable GPS without being in the presence of an iPhone. 

What would "pro" mean when applied to a phone? A pro computer is used by like graphics professionals. A pro phone? Professionals of what use this phone?
Doesn't quite make sense. 

Maybe consider alternatives:
iPhone 7 B for Badass
iPhone 7 ME More Expensive
iPhone 7 HE High End
7 HMP for Higher Monthly Payments
iPhone 7 FOC for Flat Out Cool

?

Maybe if they include only 8gb of memory in the 7, it will encourage people to upgrade to the 7 plus? /s

Of course it as worth spending a million bucks of taxpayer money on this! They have virtually shut down all terrorists who are using iPhone 5C's running iOS9 (except the ones who follow the news and now wI'll avoid using the 5C). 

They said the 5C was a flop. It was a hit.

They said the SE was a flop. It's a hit. 

To add to Sog35's post above:
A) success sparks jealousy 
Americans like to build up our heroes then tear them down 
C) Wall Street only likes companies that are growing exponentially. also a lotta manipulation is going on
D) media is more biased than open. Partly because of who owns it. Partly because negativity about Apple gets the clicks.