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M&M Breeding

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
This is a classic.

http://www.rahji.com/viewjoke.php3?id=4

Quote:
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold
M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is
the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to
go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and
the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that
the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of
competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or
pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be
a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength.
In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest
of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack
it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars,
Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading,
"Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free
1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set
aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we
will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.
post #2 of 5
So M&Ms are either hermaphrodites or whatever you call those microbes that reproduce by dividing in two. Interesting that you don't need two to breed them given they are called M&Ms.

And the blue ones are like the albinos of the M&M world.

Frankly, it sounds like he's playing with fire to me. Who knows what sort of mutant M&M he might create or what havoc it could wreak in the candy world were it to accidentally escape into the wild.

Frankenstein M&Ms. Scary. I think all experiments involving the genetic manipulation of M&Ms should stop until a special task force has fully investigated the scientific and ethical implications of this research and presented its recommendations to government.
Tomorrow shall be love for the loveless;
And for the lover, tomorrow shall be love.
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Tomorrow shall be love for the loveless;
And for the lover, tomorrow shall be love.
Reply
post #3 of 5
I thought the plain ones were females since the other kinds have nuts.
"Hearing a corrupt CEO like Cheney denigrate Edwards for being a trial lawyer is like hearing a child molester complain how Larry Flint is a pervert." -johnq
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"Hearing a corrupt CEO like Cheney denigrate Edwards for being a trial lawyer is like hearing a child molester complain how Larry Flint is a pervert." -johnq
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post #4 of 5
I know the peanut-butter ones have an advantage in size, but in actuality are weak and powerless.

_thedustin
post #5 of 5
Thread Starter 
Yeah, and so most likely the strongest kind are the peanut M&M's. Followed by plain, then peanut-butter. I'm not sure where to place crispy ones.

I have also found it really odd that there are two kinds of brown M&M's.
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