Best blonde joke contest
You may put in one blonde joke per post.
Comfortable
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister,''When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'' The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, ''I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'' The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, ''It's just 99 cents a word.'' Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, ''I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.''' The telegraph operator shakes his head. ''How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'" The brunette explains, ''My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.''
Comfortable
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister,''When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'' The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, ''I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'' The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, ''It's just 99 cents a word.'' Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, ''I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.''' The telegraph operator shakes his head. ''How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'" The brunette explains, ''My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.''
Comments
"I think they're deer tracks!" "No, they're definitely bear tracks!" "No! No! They're rabbit tracks!"
They decide to follow the tracks through the forest to see what animal they find at the end. 3 minutes later the train hits them.
A:A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
I am so going to get blasted by any females who see these.
Oh Well. That's life.
A:She kept throwing away all the W's.
A:Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of a swimming pool.
[ 12-03-2001: Message edited by: To Ti or Not to Ti, that is the Q. ]</p>
A:A wind tunnel.
A:She opens the car door.
I got this one from a blonde friend of mine who had been to wedding, and then instead of going to bed she decided to sleep in the car.
A:"So guys, which football team do you play for?"
A:The towers only went down once...
Q:What do blondes and aeroplanes have in common?
A:They both have cockpits. Ouch....
The brunette. The blonde will have to stop to ask for directions.
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''
A blonde had two horses, but she couldn't tell them apart. So she asked her neighbor for advice. He suggested that she cut the tail off one of the horses. This worked until the other horse snagged his tail on a fence. So the neighbor suggested notching one of the horses' ear. This worked until the other horse snagged his ear on a fence. So the neighbor suggested measuring the heights of the horses. And sure enough, the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse.
because it said concentrate on the box
he starts to tell a blonde joke when the bar man stops him and says...
"i think u should realise that the man next to u used to be in the SAS hes 6' 4" and hes BLONDE also his mate over there just got out of prison hes 6' 10" and built like a brick s*it house also blonde and then theres me ive got a big bat, and blonde hair"
the blind man turns to him and says **** it if ill have to explain myself 3 times.
.... Alone.