As Seen On TV
Anyone ever buy crap off of TV? I have purchased a Bowflex, which is pretty good product, of course it is the granddaddy of all TV products.
Most of it looks like $h!t.
For example, the internal antenna. Yeah, 20 bucks for a sticker. I bet that doesn't work.
I hate when they show someone who must be incredibly stupid making the most mundane task incredibly difficult, and being shown in black and white, sweat pouring off their faces just to tighten a screw or something, then we see some housewife in color all happy using her gatorgrip having no problems at all.
Another one I hate are all these ab products, especially those things you strap on and they vibrate...yeah like the models they show really got those abs sitting around with a cheap electrical belt. The kciker is during one commercial they actually have the nerve to say, while showing a guy (in black and white again) doing sit-ups, pausing him in mid-situp, pointing an arrow at his gut, and saying "and some exercises can even make your ab muscles bigger." Uh, excuse me, when was that a bad thing? "bigger" ab muscles will help you get the washboard abs...more muscle burns more fat. Yeah people want a flat tummy, but "bigger ab muscles" does not mean you will get bulging 24" Arnold biceps on your stomach.
If I hear some product is "amazing" and only costs "$19.95" I am gonna throw up.
Most of it looks like $h!t.
For example, the internal antenna. Yeah, 20 bucks for a sticker. I bet that doesn't work.
I hate when they show someone who must be incredibly stupid making the most mundane task incredibly difficult, and being shown in black and white, sweat pouring off their faces just to tighten a screw or something, then we see some housewife in color all happy using her gatorgrip having no problems at all.
Another one I hate are all these ab products, especially those things you strap on and they vibrate...yeah like the models they show really got those abs sitting around with a cheap electrical belt. The kciker is during one commercial they actually have the nerve to say, while showing a guy (in black and white again) doing sit-ups, pausing him in mid-situp, pointing an arrow at his gut, and saying "and some exercises can even make your ab muscles bigger." Uh, excuse me, when was that a bad thing? "bigger" ab muscles will help you get the washboard abs...more muscle burns more fat. Yeah people want a flat tummy, but "bigger ab muscles" does not mean you will get bulging 24" Arnold biceps on your stomach.
If I hear some product is "amazing" and only costs "$19.95" I am gonna throw up.
Comments
A friend of a friend is a reporter for a local tv station, he does a segment every week called "Can You Believe It?" He buys crap off the internet that he sees on tv commercials/infomercials, and then tries it out. A few weeks ago he did the internal antenna, and had two identical phones on the same service, one with the "antenna," and one without. Everywhere he went, they were exactly the same. It still cut out like crazy inside big stores or in tunnels.
[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: poor taylor ]</p>
The principle makes sense. Kinda expensive though.
Whenevery I see that stuff on TV I always think, "geez why didn't I think of that".
Whether the crap works or not, the person selling it is bound to be making a good chunk of change of selling a gimmick.
These people even have little booths in the mall now where they sell the "as seen on TV' products that "aren't available in stores". Got the clothes steamer thing there last christmas but it was missing a part. Never got to try it out. \
Some of them are like train wrecks in that you can't NOT look at them because they're so devastating, tragic and loud.
Yes, they DO have those little production "techniques", don't they? The "bad way = B&W with a fat guy" and the "good way in blazing color with a sexy little monkey of a housewife".
I like watching the one for Nad's hair removal system because this woman from Down Under has some SERIOUSLY fine daughters on there that help her demonstrate. This trio of black-haired, smooth-legged vixens beats the living hell out of any Drew Carey episode ever produced, I'll say that right now!
But yeah...you KNOW this crap doesn't work. It can't. Everytime I see one of those "wear this magnetic reverse polarity baseball cap and lose up to 15 pounds a day!!!" things, I always go "motherfücker, PUT DOWN the Ding-Dongs and the pork rinds and you might find those 15 pounds go away on their own!"
There's an entire industry out there devoted to the whole idea that "eating right and excercising" can't POSSIBLY be the only true, guaranteed way to lose weight.
"EAT, EAT, EAT your way to a thin body! Our new weight loss formula GUARANTEES you that the more you eat, the less you'll weigh! Listen to what these satisfied customers had to say: 'I done lost 38 pounds in 3 days...I've never looked better!", 'I haven't seen my penis in 14 years, but thanks to Slim-X, I can gaze upon my manhood in a way I haven't been able to since junior high! Thanks Slim-X', 'I went from being hugely overweight and quite grotesque to only mildly obese and not nearly as frightening to small children and cats...I couldn't have done without ya, Slim-X!'
YES, those and many others are walking success stories. BUT WAIT...THAT'S NOT ALL. Call within the next SEVEN MINUTES and you'll get the free pocket pud-puller. Regularly priced at $217, it's yours for FREE. Even if you return the Slim-X, keep the Pocket Pud-Puller as our free gift to you!"
"Call now at 1-800-455-2222. That's 1-800-455-2222. That number again, 1-800-455-2222. Call today, operators are standing by at 1-800-455-2222. OR send check or money order to:
Harper Bullshit Marketing, Inc.
Box 55218
Lake City, FL 33951
Allow 3-41 weeks for delivery!"
"Not only do you get the Athlon XP, but you got the Lexmark printer and scanner! We're practically giving this stuff away folks!"
<strong>That "Tornado" thing for car intake/carbs looks kinda cool.
The principle makes sense. Kinda expensive though.
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I saw that on TV the other day. It is intriguing. But I asked myself, if it's such a great device, and really works, why don't all car makers employ it as a standard feature? It's not rocket science. The concept is simple, so it's no amazing technological breakthrough. But I'd still like to know if it really works, or is just hype.
<strong>Anyone ever seen those Systemax ones? I just love watching those!
"Not only do you get the Athlon XP, but you got the Lexmark printer and scanner! We're practically giving this stuff away folks!"</strong><hr></blockquote>
I love those. "We shopped around and got you the best price possible. Regularly $2299 but yours today for only $1799. It's great. It will change you family's life. You are investing in your childs future. Built-in 3D GRAPHICS and 128 megs of RAM. This machine is amazing!" Then I go to dell.com and configure the same system for $1199. Those Systemax infomercials are pathetic.
1) If they say "call in the next x minutes," then people will be more likely to call and order. If they didn't say that, most viewers would be like "well, I'll write down the number and think about it or do it later" and they never call. Lost sales.
2) The other is a programming strategy: if they limit the time people SHOULD call, then the companies know what time the viewers were watching and what times are more successful than others (late night, early morning, Sunday morning, etc.). Makes for better statistics.
I'd say the worst one of those I saw was a product that looks like a bow without a string. You're supposed to shake it back and forth and get the same workout in a much faster time because it's the same number reps sped up so that your workout lasts like 2 minutes instead of an hour. Please.
<strong>
I'd say the worst one of those I saw was a product that looks like a bow without a string. You're supposed to shake it back and forth and get the same workout in a much faster time because it's the same number reps sped up so that your workout lasts like 2 minutes instead of an hour. Please. </strong><hr></blockquote>
Ah, the infamous BodyBlade
Anyone ever watch Shop-At-Home? I used to when Don West was on there. That was a GREAT show...going crazy of Tiger Woods Gem Mint 10s. That was great. Of course he was fired and is now in a lawsuit over selling fake Tiger cards.
[ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Horned_Frog ]</p>
One I saw had that special tube with a paint roller on the end of it. You just load the thing up with paint, and slowly push it out through the front as you roll across the wall.
I then thought to myself, "yes, but how do you clean it? There's no way to open it up. You'd have to run an assload of water (or even worse, terpentine) through it to get it totally clean."
Every one of those has a "yes, but" that they never tell you about.
Anyone else bought those or saw the infomercial? Very cheesy, two women talking about how they have no time to get the job done as they have kids in sports and one is convincing the other how well it works. What the heck...Money back gurantee...
[ 12-27-2001: Message edited by: NoahJ ]</p>
My wife and I were watching that one the other night and were just rolling, funniest infomercial I've seen in a while. Interesting concept though.
sounds like you'd have a field day in there...
Anyone seen that guy that screams about the "tiny little adds in news papers ALLLL accross the nation" that will make you millions. What I wonder is why is he trying to sell his information on how to get rich if it worked so great for him.
By the way Ralph Nader did a report on this exoping tons of people and companies as fraud
[ 12-29-2001: Message edited by: someoneelse ]</p>
<strong>
By the way Ralph Nader did a report on this exoping tons of people and companies as fraud
[ 12-29-2001: Message edited by: someoneelse ]</strong><hr></blockquote>
Ralph Nader is a crotchety old man and I didn't vote for him for President, but he's f*ing intelligent and honest in a lot of other ways.