If Steve Jobs was the US president?

Posted:
in AppleOutsider edited January 2014
in lieu on SpotOn's comment on the "Apple's Steve Jobs named world's most valuable CEO" thread I'm starting this thread for people to vent their politics, hopefully in a funny manner.



So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 21
    msnlymsnly Posts: 378member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by solipsism View Post


    So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?



    Houses would be much darker, as they would have no windows.
  • Reply 2 of 21
    solipsismsolipsism Posts: 25,726member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MsNly View Post


    Houses would be much darker, as they would have no windows.



    So, energy conservation?
  • Reply 3 of 21
    msnlymsnly Posts: 378member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by solipsism View Post


    So, energy conservation?



    Health reform too, less viruses and filth without the windows
  • Reply 4 of 21
    ltmpltmp Posts: 204member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by solipsism View Post


    So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?



    Alas, our borders would be closed to all except those with signed papers.



    But so many would want to come to America (as it would be the coolest and most popular country) that they'd all line up for permission to enter, despite the sometimes inscrutable nature of the immigration policy.
  • Reply 5 of 21
    finetunesfinetunes Posts: 2,065member
    The first thing would be that OSX and Macs would be put in place in all government offices and departments. This would make the government run smoother and more efficiently at least.
  • Reply 6 of 21
    msnlymsnly Posts: 378member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by LTMP View Post


    Alas, our borders would be closed to all except those with signed papers.



    But foreign policy is over 9000.



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijh8u12jjG4
  • Reply 7 of 21
    dr millmossdr millmoss Posts: 5,403member
    What his policies would be is anybody's guess, but I'm picturing him giving the State of the Union address in jeans and a black turtleneck, wandering back and forth across the podium and showing Keynote slides, telling us how cool and magical his plans will be. I'm picturing puzzlement on the faces of members of Congress from not knowing when they're supposed to stand up and applaud. I also picture him at press conferences telling members of the media to sit down and shut up if he doesn't like their questions.



    I know this meant to be a jokey question, but it's a fact that people in top corporate management positions would have a big problem in politics. They're way too used to people jumping on command. It doesn't work that way in political office.
  • Reply 8 of 21
    solipsismsolipsism Posts: 25,726member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by LTMP View Post


    Alas, our borders would be closed to all except those with signed papers.



    But so many would want to come to America (as it would be the coolest and most popular country) that they'd all line up for permission to enter, despite the sometimes inscrutable nature of the immigration policy.



    All people are signed like App Store apps with the always present danger of a Remote Kill Switch.
  • Reply 9 of 21
    msnlymsnly Posts: 378member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by solipsism View Post


    All people are signedlike App Store apps with the always present danger of a Remote Kill Switch.



    OH SHITE! *Looks for switch*
  • Reply 10 of 21
    spotonspoton Posts: 645member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by solipsism View Post


    So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?





    We all have bar codes for license plates and there be a mandatory college class "Psychedelics 101".





    In reality he wouldn't be able to pass his agenda through Congress unless he made it some sort of national emergency, possible economic collapse or if it deprived Congress of money for pork projects.
  • Reply 11 of 21
    msnlymsnly Posts: 378member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SpotOn View Post


    In reality he wouldn't be able to pass his agenda through Congress unless he made it some sort of national emergency, possible economic collapse or if it deprived Congress of money for pork projects.



    You forget his reality distortion field.
  • Reply 12 of 21
    solipsismsolipsism Posts: 25,726member
    The military would be referred to as The Core Animation which will be the most efficient military in the world and the Reality Distortion Field will be weaponized.



    edit: I see MsNly was moving along the same idea.
  • Reply 13 of 21
    msnlymsnly Posts: 378member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by solipsism View Post


    and the Reality Distortion Field will be weaponized.



    "We do want to put these guns down and play with those shiny iPods." -Enemy Soldier



    "Yes, yes you do." -Steve
  • Reply 14 of 21
    USA becomes like Apple, Inc ???



    So, we'd have no national debt, but tons of $$ in the "bank".

    We'd have several cool government programs that actually addressed what people need, even if they're not as cutting edge as some other countries programs. We'd not only have a balanced national budget... but we'd be setting aside funds for future needs...



    Yep... Steve would never make it in Washington!
  • Reply 15 of 21
    finetunesfinetunes Posts: 2,065member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by KingOfSomewhereHot View Post


    ........

    Yep... Steve would never make it in Washington!



    Because as President the capitol would be Cupertino CA
  • Reply 16 of 21
    finetunesfinetunes Posts: 2,065member
    Question:



    If SJ was Mr. President, who would be VP and name a few of his Cabinet members.
  • Reply 17 of 21
    sammi josammi jo Posts: 4,634member
    It would be hell on earth. Just as you were familiarizing yourself with "government", the next day it would be (nominally) "upgraded" and you'd have to start over from scratch.
  • Reply 18 of 21
    spotonspoton Posts: 645member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MsNly View Post


    You forget his reality distortion field.





    It's already working overtime trying to convince 2 billion Chinese to buy a more expensive, wifi-less version of iPhone rather than the normal grey market ones.



    No, Sir Steve will certainly have to replace Congress, with a couple of glass cubes and spiral glass staircases to heaven so he can invite Buddha and his disciples to come visit.
  • Reply 19 of 21
    MarvinMarvin Posts: 14,223moderator
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by solipsism View Post


    So... what would the US be like if Jobs was president?



    He would keep changing the constitution and ask you to agree to it on opening iTunes.
  • Reply 20 of 21
    solipsismsolipsism Posts: 25,726member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Marvin View Post


    He would keep changing the constitution and ask you to agree to it on opening iTunes.



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