My grandmother is dying at anytime

leonisleonis
Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
Five years ago doctor discovered my grandmother had the final bone cancer



In general, a person with the final cancer will live no longer than 5 years



Now it's the fifth year and her condition is dropped to the bottom. Doctor said she won't be able to live for more than a month....or maybe even shorter than this.



Well....everyone in the family has prepared for this to happen.



Now I just wish she can pass away peacefully. She's been in extreme pain for a long time.



What I worry is that I won't be able to see her when she is leaving me. Cause I maybe flying down to the States sometime the end of this month or April......



I don't want to miss this opportunity cause if I miss this I maybe never able to get the same thing......if I miss the last encounter with my grandmother I also will never be able to do this again......



don't know....
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 23
    aries 1baries 1b Posts: 1,009member
    FAMILY FIRST.



    Whatever you have going on down here, find a way to do it remotely. Focus on your Grandmother and the rest of your family. Attend to business, but tell them what the hell is going on; do what you can to fulfill your customer's (?) needs, but your family comes first.

    CUSTOMERS COME AND GO, BUT FAMILY IS FOREVER.



    Hang in there and consider the dear lady's whole life, not just this sad interlude. Be her comfort and thank her for being your grandmother.

    Good luck and a big ol' buddy hug from Indianapolis.



    Aries 1B
  • Reply 2 of 23
    glurxglurx Posts: 1,031member
    I agree 100% with Aries 1B.



    Is your grandmother in a hospice program? They are generally much better informed about pain management.
  • Reply 3 of 23
    ghost_user_nameghost_user_name Posts: 22,667member
    Please accept my condolences, Pollux.



    If there's anything that we (i know this may sound trite, but you'd be surprised how much people care) can do to help, let us know.





    Jonathan
  • Reply 4 of 23
    moogsmoogs Posts: 4,296member
    Sorry to hear of your difficult situation Leonis. Like the man said, let us know what we can do for you.....
  • Reply 5 of 23
    jeffyboyjeffyboy Posts: 1,055member
    Sorry to hear that, Leonis. I hope at least you get a chance to say goodbye in person, if you can't be there for the last days.



    Jeff
  • Reply 6 of 23
    ghost_user_nameghost_user_name Posts: 22,667member
    Go talk to her now and say what you have to say. Doctors are wrong all the time. It's easy to say "famly first" but if she hangs on for another three months are you going to hold off on every job that you have waiting for her to pass on? 6 months?



    I was in the same situation. My father had a stroke. Would be get better or worse? Who knew. How long till he got home? No one knows. Plus my father did not want anyone hanging around waiting for him to die.



    It's a tough call.
  • Reply 7 of 23
    rick1138rick1138 Posts: 938member
    That's terrible,my grandmother died this summer,my condolences.
  • Reply 8 of 23
    powerdocpowerdoc Posts: 8,123member
    [quote]Originally posted by Scott H.:

    <strong>Go talk to her now and say what you have to say. Doctors are wrong all the time. It's easy to say "famly first" but if she hangs on for another three months are you going to hold off on every job that you have waiting for her to pass on? 6 months?



    It's a tough call.</strong><hr></blockquote>

    Scott is right , see her now, before is disease will become too serious. It can hurt seriously when the last image of a person you love is terrible and when she is so bad, that she can even do not recocnize you.

    I am not sure, either that she will want to die in front of you : a hard question to ask to your grand-mother i admit. And what is the most important for your grand-mother (i suppose because all the beloved grand-mother are this way) is your future.
  • Reply 9 of 23
    emaneman Posts: 7,204member
    Sorry to hear that Leonis. I've lost a few family memebers in the past and it's just horrible seeing them like that. I hope everything will be okay and when she passes away she won't it'll be as peaceful as possible.
  • Reply 10 of 23
    leonisleonis Posts: 3,427member
    Just visited her in hospital today



    She's getting worse day by day.



    She not can't even drink water. She chokes like mad when something is in her mouth....
  • Reply 11 of 23
    emaneman Posts: 7,204member
    That sounds horrible. I really feel for you, Leonis.
  • Reply 12 of 23
    the toolboithe toolboi Posts: 557member
    Ya, I remember when my grandmother died a few months ago (unknown cause, something was eating at her white blood cells but it didnt match any normal diseases). You have to drop what your doing and get down there, the last few minutes are the most precious. I never knew my grandmother as well as the few days before she died.
  • Reply 13 of 23
    applenutapplenut Posts: 5,768member
    wow, I'm truly sorry to hear that. My prayers are with you and your family.



    I can't imagine how your grandmother must feel right now. To know that death is so close and could happen anytime must be one of the strangest and worst feelings possible. unimaginable.



  • Reply 14 of 23
    wrong robotwrong robot Posts: 3,907member
    my grandmother just had a heart attack, she okay though. I'm really sorry leonis...definatly go out of your way to see her some more. I wouldn't mind missing work or other obligations for something like this.

    my thoughts are with you, good luck in this emotionally taxing time.

  • Reply 15 of 23
    spaceman_spiffspaceman_spiff Posts: 1,242member
    I'll be praying for you and your grandma, Leonis. Glad you got to see her. The death of someone you love is always a hard thing to witness. Don't beat yourself up over the amount of time you spend with her. I doubt she'd want you to do that. Even if you were there every possible minute, when she goes she will die alone. That's the way it always is. Just focus on those passing moments - a smile perhaps, or a held hand. All you can do is tell her you love her and listen to her tell you the same. The rest of it you'll just have to endure. I'm truly sorry.
  • Reply 16 of 23
    jambojambo Posts: 3,036member
    My thoughts are with you Leonis. I am very close to my Grandmother and I know how you must be feeling. This may be of little consolation but just remember that if your Grandmother is in pain, sometimes death can be a blessing in disguise.



    J





    Grandmother



    Grandmother hugs and Grandmother kisses,

    Hot oven cookies and holiday wishes,

    Attics with treasures of children grown old,

    Stories of magic and princes so bold,

    Oceans of patience and rainbows of love,

    A bright ray of sunshine sent from above,

    You stirred my childhood with rich, golden days,

    Touching my life in so many ways.

    When shadows are dark,

    I reach through the night,

    The love of a Grandmother shines like a light.
  • Reply 17 of 23
    leonisleonis Posts: 3,427member
    I was in hospital with her in the last 24 hours......Just got back from hospital to home to take a shower and check my emails....and I will have to go back there again in 10 minutes



    Her kidneys are all destroyed by the cancer cells.



    She's still mentally awaken but her physcial body just doesn't allow her to talk or even move. She can't even touch water.



    Doctor said she will now live no longer than two days.
  • Reply 18 of 23
    powerdocpowerdoc Posts: 8,123member
    Condolences , Leonis. I expect that she will leaving this world in peace ( with no pain).
  • Reply 19 of 23
    the installerthe installer Posts: 910member
    Leonis,



    I truly am sorry to read about your grandmother. Take care, will ya?





    To what shall I compare this life of ours?

    Even before I can say

    it is like a lightning flash or a dewdrop

    it is no more.



    Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â* - Â*Â* Sengai



    - T.I.



    [ 03-09-2002: Message edited by: The Installer ]</p>
  • Reply 20 of 23
    tigerwoods99tigerwoods99 Posts: 2,633member
    Leonis- My grandmother died a few weeks ago. I hope all is well for you and that she goes peacefully. The sad thing is my grandmother was probably lying there for a couple days.
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