what are your truths??

Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
truths



1. alcohol makes me ugly

2. mice are poor swimmers

3. the air is thinner here

4. you can never win an argument with a crazy woman

5. one day the sun will explode. this thought use to bother me, it doesn't anymore.

6. deep down, if i were honest with myself, i most likely would like a larger penis

7. if i were to form a band today, i would call it "mother's little bezoar"

8. the militias don't trust the government. most people outside of the militias don't

trust the militias (crazy white men again. for historical reference see: The Crusades,

World War I, WWII, plastic couch covers). old people don't trust the young.

young people don't trust the old. basically no one trusts.

9. the human species is a dirty and nasty thing (see truth eight)

10. even so, the human species is capable of moments of great beauty and grace.

11. if i had a larger penis i probably wouldn't have anything special to do with it other

than stand in front of a mirror and go, "hmm, bigger"

12. despite all the early criticism, the myopic hubble telescope has shown me some of the

most amazing glimpses into the formation and death of stars and galaxies. of course

the down side of this is that, with each new and mind-numbing image, i feel even

more insignificant than before. thank christ for prozac and the simpsons

13. my youth probably wasn't nearly as rosy as i remember it

14. if i had it all to do over again--i would wear black jeans more often





g



[ 02-14-2003: Message edited by: thegelding ]</p>
«1

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 25
    mimacmimac Posts: 871member
    1: People will point to their wrist when asking for the time but NEVER point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is.

    2: 8 out of 10 refuse skips will always have a piss stained mattress in it.

    3: A man will show no pain when taking a ferocious beating but will wince when a woman cleans his wounds.

    4: Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

    5: Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!

    6: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them properly.

    7: Work is good but not that important.

    8: You can't trust a dog to watch your food.

    9:You know when you're middle aged when you choose the cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

    10: If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
  • Reply 2 of 25
    [quote]Originally posted by thegelding:

    <strong>1. alcohol makes me ugly</strong><hr></blockquote>So, when was the last time you were sober?
  • Reply 3 of 25
    stunnedstunned Posts: 1,096member
    U can't touch your nose with your tongue.



    And 90% of those who read this will try to touch their nose with their tongue <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 4 of 25
    brbr Posts: 8,395member
    The only universal truth is that there is no universal truth.
  • Reply 5 of 25
    johnrpjohnrp Posts: 357member
    I can touch my nose with my tongue, my Grandad could as well.
  • Reply 6 of 25
    guarthoguartho Posts: 1,208member
    [quote]Originally posted by stunned:

    <strong>U can't touch your nose with your tongue.



    And 90% of those who read this will try to touch their nose with their tongue <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>



    I distinctly remember that I used to be able to, but after joining the 90% I discovered that I no longer can.



    BR, no universal truth? What about E Pluribus Unum? Sorry, couldn't resist.
  • Reply 7 of 25
    spartspart Posts: 2,060member
    1.) There are a lot of stupid people. Stare at them as if they are dangerously stupid.

    2.) I am a heartless, annoying, selfish, fool. And I could care less.

    3.) Let people think you're stupid, and they usually ignore you. Quite useful at times.

    4.) I wouldn't want to be surrounded by people like me.

    5.) David Letterman is a funny man, and Jay Leno writes awesome articles.

    6.) Windows sucks. Microsoft sucks. Deep down inside, we all envy Intel.

    7.) If Motorola was a penis, it would be .18µm long.

    8.) Not all pansies are gay, not all gays are pansies.

    9.) When you ingest two gallons of caffeinated beverage, bad things can and do happen.

    10.) Hot things don't necessarily look hot.

    11.) Obliterating a village probably isn't all it's cracked up to be. Bringing about world peace probably isn't either.
  • Reply 8 of 25
    brbr Posts: 8,395member
    [quote]Originally posted by Guartho:

    <strong>BR, no universal truth? What about E Pluribus Unum? Sorry, couldn't resist.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    Heh. You do notice that my statement was purposefully contradictory. I hope you noticed, anyway.
  • Reply 9 of 25
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    • Relationships are a hassle and cost a lot of money, yet most people feel they MUST have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

    • I'm not nearly as cool as I might think I am.

    • My friends like me even though I'm not cool.

    • The world would probably be a much happier place if it weren't for that whole "money" thing.

    • In hindsight, some of the worst experiences I've ever had really weren't that bad, and I learned a great deal from them.

    • The God I believe in loves us all very much.

    • I would be lying if I said I have no regrets. But I even learn from the regrets.

    • Driving way over the speed limit won't get you there that much sooner, but puts you in a much greater risk of getting pulled over.

    • The spontaneous moments are often more special and memorable than the well-planned-out ones.

    • Kindness is never a detriment to achieving your goals.

    • Politicians never lie about anything, but spin everything to sound better than it actually is.

    • In every statement of sarcasm is a significant amount of honesty.

    • No offense to you all, but my time would probably be better spent with real people instead of the AI community. I'll stay anyway.

    • EDIT/ADDITION: Most people who love watching "Jackass" do it for this sole reason: They're jealous because they don't have enough guts to do all those frieky stunts.

    [ 02-14-2003: Message edited by: CosmoNut ]</p>
  • Reply 10 of 25
    [quote]Originally posted by CosmoNut:

    <strong> The God I believe in loves us all very much.[/list]</strong><hr></blockquote>

    Sorry to get all emotional, but I agree on this one folks. I'm sorry some of you can't believe in God.

    EDIT: Sorry to all of whom I may have offended... but this is my truth.



    [ 02-14-2003: Message edited by: Bioflavonoid ]</p>
  • Reply 11 of 25
    The sun doesn't go down, it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.
  • Reply 12 of 25
    ibrowseibrowse Posts: 1,749member
    The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's also plastic.
  • Reply 13 of 25
    Mac OSX hands down kills XP. <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />



    [ 02-14-2003: Message edited by: Bioflavonoid ]</p>
  • Reply 14 of 25
    brbr Posts: 8,395member
    [quote]Originally posted by Bioflavonoid:

    <strong>

    Sorry to get all emotional, but I agree on this one folks. I'm sorry some of you can't believe in God.

    EDIT: Sorry to all of whom I may have offended... but this is my truth.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    Those who are offended solely because someone believes something different are ignorant fools. However, those who think that they know the ultimate truth also are ignorant fools.
  • Reply 15 of 25
    my truths:
    • simpsons is and always will be funny

    • i'm great

    • mj is sweet

    • despite, or possibly as a result of, its geeky nature, programming will always be phyn.

    i hold these thruths to be self evident.
  • Reply 15 of 25
    stunnedstunned Posts: 1,096member
    [quote]Originally posted by johnrp:

    <strong>I can touch my nose with my tongue, my Grandad could as well.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    Can u post a picture?? I've never seen anyone do that before!!
  • Reply 17 of 25
    [quote]Originally posted by thegelding:

    <strong>

    8. the militias don't trust the government. most people outside of the militias don't trust the militias</strong><hr></blockquote>



    And the government doesn´t trust the people. So who is right?
  • Reply 18 of 25
    let me grab my camera.....g



    nevermind...it is easy to do...but dang if the photo doesn't make me look like an inbred old geezer while doing it....i even have all my teeth, yet the photo makes me look like i have an upper plate out...not pretty....





    g



    [ 02-15-2003: Message edited by: thegelding ]</p>
  • Reply 19 of 25
    oh, what the hell....i gave up pride many years ago....g



  • Reply 20 of 25
    defiantdefiant Posts: 4,876member
    HHUAUuauhahahahahahahah RTHFTTZLé !!!! <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> GNGGNNGNNHAHAHAHA
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