One in three moms track their partner's every move with Apple tech
Some people use Apple's location sharing and features like Find My to keep tabs on their spouses, but a recent poll showed how divisive the technology can be.
Apple's "Find My" tracking feature
Recently, one mother posted an informal poll in the BabyCenter community, a website that offers pregnancy and parenting tips for people. The community is a forum to keep in touch with other parents, and a recent discussion involved tracking spouses.
The most common reasons for tracking included timing the significant other's return for preparing meals, making sure they safely reached their destinations, creating schedules to pick up the kids, and in case of emergencies. However, most of the comments on the poll were from people who disagreed, saying that they did not track their partner.
Many believed it violated their privacy and could increase anxiety from sharing too much personal information. Others said they weren't interested because they could text or call their partner.
Some comments also shifted to mention children and how some use the tracking technology for that purpose, especially ensuring teens who have started driving are okay. Aging parents are also a factor for some.
"I do know many in my friend circle and family have shared their location with spouses and even other family members," one commenter said in part. "I for instance can track my parents, which admittedly is helpful as they age in their home and will likely start dealing with dementia in the next few years."
AirTags can also be used for tracking locations
For example, the same commenter mentioned, "I have "threatened" to throw an airtag in the car several times but never pulled the trigger." Apple's AirTags that it released in 2021 often appear in the media because they can track a person or object's location.
The company certainly doesn't market it as a device to track pets or children, but some people will inevitably use the devices in that manner.
Stories of stalking via AirTags appear every so often. In a report from March 28, Australian travelers discovered an AirTag in their luggage, forcing them to make significant changes to their plans.
And on March 23, former Love Island star Montana Brown shared how someone stalked her location using an AirTag.
But as the BabyCenter forum members share their stories, it's clear that -- as always -- technology can be used for good, in addition to ill.
Read on AppleInsider
Apple's "Find My" tracking feature
Recently, one mother posted an informal poll in the BabyCenter community, a website that offers pregnancy and parenting tips for people. The community is a forum to keep in touch with other parents, and a recent discussion involved tracking spouses.
One in three of the 1,020 members who responded to the poll say they track their spouse's whereabouts and primarily use "Find My" and "Share My Location" on their iPhone."My husband is traveling right now to see a friend. He's been gone since Friday and will be home tomorrow. When talking about his trip to a friend she asked me why I don't just track his location to see what he's up to.I would never do this, but I'm curious how common it is. She insists it's fairly common and if the technology exists why not just use it?
I'm of the opinion that it's a violation of privacy and even if DH agreed to it, sometimes less information is best. I also would not want to be tracked."
The most common reasons for tracking included timing the significant other's return for preparing meals, making sure they safely reached their destinations, creating schedules to pick up the kids, and in case of emergencies. However, most of the comments on the poll were from people who disagreed, saying that they did not track their partner.
Many believed it violated their privacy and could increase anxiety from sharing too much personal information. Others said they weren't interested because they could text or call their partner.
Some comments also shifted to mention children and how some use the tracking technology for that purpose, especially ensuring teens who have started driving are okay. Aging parents are also a factor for some.
"I do know many in my friend circle and family have shared their location with spouses and even other family members," one commenter said in part. "I for instance can track my parents, which admittedly is helpful as they age in their home and will likely start dealing with dementia in the next few years."
Some like it not
The intentions behind such family tracking can be mixed, such as tracking a spouse in case of emergencies compared to tracking out of possessiveness or jealousy. But it adds another angle to the topic of tracking -- especially with Apple technology.AirTags can also be used for tracking locations
For example, the same commenter mentioned, "I have "threatened" to throw an airtag in the car several times but never pulled the trigger." Apple's AirTags that it released in 2021 often appear in the media because they can track a person or object's location.
The company certainly doesn't market it as a device to track pets or children, but some people will inevitably use the devices in that manner.
Stories of stalking via AirTags appear every so often. In a report from March 28, Australian travelers discovered an AirTag in their luggage, forcing them to make significant changes to their plans.
And on March 23, former Love Island star Montana Brown shared how someone stalked her location using an AirTag.
But as the BabyCenter forum members share their stories, it's clear that -- as always -- technology can be used for good, in addition to ill.
Read on AppleInsider
Comments
My wife and I use it to see if the other has left work yet occasionally, know they've arrived at a destination when traveling, etc. We also threw an AirTag in our 4yo's pocket one time when we were taking him to a larger event. If he did somehow manage to get separated, it was that much better chance of us locating him quickly.
To be honest, the Find My isn't all that different than the fact that either my wife or myself can look at the Ford app and see where our car is at any given time, it's just easier and more convenient in Find My.
I can picture it coming down to the individual relationship though. We have a high level of trust and neither of us are likely to abuse it heavily.
Also, rather than using it to spy on the significant other, I look at it the other way round: by offering to share my location I give my family comfort that I am not in inappropriate places. I have nothing to hide. But I would not like it if she INSISTED on tracking me, and if she requested we all turn it off, I would be OK with that.
If you do trust each other, it's a great tool when you enable the mutual sharing of location information. As noted, it's helpful for sorting out things like when to start making dinner, allows for reassurance that the other person is safe, as when a traffic accident on your partner's usual route is reported, and you can quickly check to see that they've already made it to their destination. It can reduce the experience of mild annoyance when you're waiting for the other person to come home or come pick you up. If you know they haven't even left yet, you can occupy yourself with other things, rather than entering an idle holding pattern too early. Also, you get to be the hero when they've mislaid their phone someplace, or when they have some sort of problem and need you to come to where they are.
All that works well when there's mutual trust. I'd be cautious about using it before that's been established. Of course, it's not an all-or-nothing proposition. You can temporarily enable location sharing from maps once you've set a route. So if someone's waiting for you to pick them up, or someone is concerned about you arriving somewhere safely during a snowstorm, you can share just that trip with them. They can see your progress on the route and then it shuts off when you arrive.
It is a fact this world is evil and bad things can happen to the people we love. But it is also a fact that evil was true decades ago, prior to all this tech. The more parents coddle and over-protect, the harder it is for children to become truly independent and productive on their own.
As to spouses tracking each other, I suppose it is less of an issue. If two really do "become one flesh" in marriage, you're basically tracking yourself, right? ;-) Okay, well, it's clear that will be divisive. I suppose it would be best not to track unless you were at Disneyworld or similar and lost contact with your spouse and desperately needed to find them. In other words, if you track only rarely and at times of great need, that would seem to be most ethical and appropriate. Doing it daily shows a lack of trust and/or a desire for control or to suppress unnecessary fears, all of which could work to undermine an otherwise healthy marriage.
As with alcohol, tobacco, or any other vice, if you see yourself as becoming addicted to tracking tech, you ought to dispense with it. Addictions don't do yourself or your loved ones any good, not to mention society at large.
Am I worried about her knowing where I am as an adult? Nope. She does t have great boundaries, but given that most of the time she’s going to see me at home, or gasp… grocery shopping, it’s not a big deal. Somebody knowing your location doesn’t tell them if you’re hooking up with somebody, or dating or hanging out with friends.
Although useful in some contexts it is inherently bad from a 'mental' health perspective in most cases and can make people unnecessarily obsessed with where the tracked person is, or what they are doing.
That said, some people are not in great mental shape even without technology potentially making things worse. That's nothing new.
Children or not, I think most normal kids have a right to privacy both in the home, online and out and about. There should be very good reasons for wanting to limit their privacy. Simply being mum or dad is not one of them in my book. Even as kids they are learning to be older as they move through different stages. Parents are also supposed to be role models. Not allowing kids privacy doesn't really help them.
It's human nature to 'want to know' but benign curiosity can develop into something far worse through technology. Things can get creepy quickly.
I prefer an open approach. Tell the person you'll be overseeing what's going on if that person is underage or suffers from some kind of disability which might make tracking be in their interest and simply ask any other person if they mind or not.
Just keep things 'healthy'.
A friend of mine owns a bar and even when he's not there he's checking all the live feeds from the cameras to keep tabs on staff. Although technically it's surveillance it can be considered tracking in a different way.
This isn't an Apple technology thing by any means and tracking in one way or another is easily accomplished independent of platform.
It's also a game of cat and mouse with people learning how not to be tracked.
As with most things: pros and cons. A little common sense, respect clearer thinking can go a long way.
That speaks more about you than the person you're responding to. Your response is indicative of the crazy "me too, I'm a victim!" world that we live in. The truth is there's likely much more to the story than what you read. Yes, through one peephole (pun intended) of a perspective, that could be considered creepy, but with much more information and context, it is likely much more innocent. My partner and I have mutual sharing of our locations because we both have busy schedules and "kids" (in the form of dogs) to take care of, and knowing where each other is helps us instead of interrupting each other with phone calls and text messages while we're at work, shopping, driving, etc.
Tracking will become an issue around 15/16, we will see what we do then. I'd be comfortable not to track her if she does not want to. Maybe keep it at night, teens here go to "motives" (parties) in dark parks.....
I certainly find this better than kids being stuck in a house all day because they are dependent on parents driving them everywhere. We never, ever, see kids out in public alone in the countryside/suburbs.