'Twas the night before MacWorld.

in Future Apple Hardware edited January 2014
'Twas the night before Macworld and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. Our old buddy Steve was asleep at his house. Some hopes were hung on rumors that spread in anticipation that LCD iMacs and a G5 would appear. The Mac fans were pacing all the night with visions of bake offs dancing in their heads. And Schiller in his X-large pajamas and Steve in his turtleneck had all set up for the ensuing keynote. Out on the lawn there arose such a clatter I ran to the window to see what was he matter, for I thought it was Schiller but the man was fatter. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. With a little old driver so charismatic and quick I knew in a moment it must be Steve. So down through the chimney Steve came with a bound. He was dressed as usual from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a plumber I could see his butt crack (joke no rhyme ideas). His eyes how they twinkled his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses his nose like a cherry. His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin was as gray and white as the snow. Schiller was there too, he had a broad face and round little belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. But soon his team gave a whistle and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. Oh And One More Thing, I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight happy Macworld to all and to all a good night!


  • Reply 1 of 13
    very nice

    [ 12-18-2001: Message edited by: Eupfhoria ]</p>
  • Reply 2 of 13
    Nice revision!
  • Reply 3 of 13
    Eupfhoria, why did you take away that revision that you made? It was better than my original!
  • Reply 4 of 13
    emaneman Posts: 7,204member
    Good job.
  • Reply 5 of 13
    We are almost on the eve of Macworld or the stEVE, so here is a little fun to be had with all of this. A thread started a while ago.

  • Reply 6 of 13
    ferroferro Posts: 453member
    I am sorry I couldnt help myself from posting this version by me from last macworld... maybe this time it will happen... cross your fingers...

    [quote] "Twas the night before Macworld,

    and all thru the forums

    were rumors and wonders

    of what was before us.

    Opinions were posted

    to the forums with care

    In hopes that a miracle

    would soon be there.

    The people were nestled

    in the glow of there screens,

    with visions of iMacs with detachable screens...

    As night turned to day,

    and apple began streaming,

    the Quicktime servers all began beaming...

    A keynote that rang

    throughout the land from broadband servers,

    to satalites,

    to land.

    A silence came over, all the people

    with great anticapation,

    for Steve Jobs was there

    with a opening salutation.

    And wonders to display

    with increasing anticipation.

    More rapid than superdrives,

    his fans they came,

    With visions of Lucite,

    with a Platinum, Inner grain...

    With a wink of his eye,

    and a twitch of his head,

    then I knew there was nothing,

    left then to dread.

    As he layed of his finger,

    upon the enter key,

    the system came up,

    and worked perfectly.

    The update updated,

    the deletes, they deleted,

    the inquiries inquired,

    the closings completed.

    Jobs tested each whistle,

    and tested each bell,

    with nary a bomb,

    and all had gone well.

    OS X was now updated,

    the tests were concluded,

    the users' last changes,

    were even included.

    Then the users exclaimed,

    with a snarl and a taunt,

    "What about hardware?"

    with a nervous response.

    Now Mister Jobs had waited,

    with a certain tendency,

    to the end of the show,

    for the "Hardware" you see.

    From beyond the shadows,

    a cart came a'flying,

    draped in secrecy,

    and hidden from spying.

    The new apple product,

    was waiting beneath,

    And the great church of apple,

    cried with relief.

    For there prayers had been answered,

    when jobs removed the sheet...

    Was it an iPad?

    was it an iMac?

    A tablet with wireless connectivity?

    And so ends this story,

    to short,

    toot sweet,

    for the future of apple,

    will soon make its mark in history!!"

    © -- FERRO <hr></blockquote>



  • Reply 7 of 13
    macaddictmacaddict Posts: 1,055member
    Only at AI, only at AI.

    I love this place.
  • Reply 8 of 13
    tjmtjm Posts: 367member
    I originally posted this back on 12/13/01, but since this thread is here, I'll post it again (with minor improvements):

    A Visit From Saint Steve

    (with profound apologies to Clement C. Moore)

    Twas the night before MacWorld and all through the house

    Not a pixel was stirring, not even my mouse.

    The Internet access was checked with great care

    With hopes that Steve?s keynote would soon webcast there.

    The AppleInsiders were snug in their beds

    While visions of G5 chips danced in their heads.

    My PowerMac was wailing iTunes in the night

    While the Pismo was showing a throbbing green light.

    When suddenly a power surge spun the disk platter

    On my iMac, which began an incessant loud chatter!

    Away to the keyboard I flew at a dash

    Unplugged the printer and emptied the trash.

    The screen on the iMac revealed a dim glow

    A small dot appeared, and started to grow!

    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

    A Quicktime 6 window through which I could peer

    At a man in a turtle-neck shirt with long sleeves,

    I knew in a moment it must be Saint Steve!

    More rapid than Gigabit Ethernet frames

    Came the sights of the hardware Steve started to name:

    ?New iMac, new PBook, new iBook and more!

    The G5! Apollo! and gadgets galore!

    To the highest known FLOPS, past the GigaHertz wall!

    Now stash away, stash away, stash away all!?

    As transfers with FireWire connections imply,

    When hot-swapped to Macintosh ports on the fly,

    So his aides and associates hid the new stuff

    Making pre-MacWorld rumors all seem like a bluff.

    Then a new Quicktime window appeared on my screen

    With Avie Tevanian making the scene.

    As Photoshop turned the P4s into toast,

    His Steveness was making another big boast.

    He was dressed all in black from his head to his foot,

    And he walked like an Admin logged into the root.

    With a ?Micro$oft $ux? sticker glued to his back,

    He looked like a Slash-dotter ready to hack.

    His eyes - how they twinkled, his haircut - how scary!

    A bottle of water he always would carry.

    He smiled as he thought of the upcoming show

    With his ?Oh, one more thing? speech all ready to go.

    The stump of a pencil he held in his hand,

    Computing the reception of AirPort through sand.

    My hard drive by this time was getting quite smelly,

    Like a dead fish with Celeron chips in its belly.

    I coughed from the smoke and Steve looked up at me

    I feared I was caught and would no longer see.

    But a smile crossed the lips of the iCEO

    And I knew he was going to let this one go.

    He spoke not a word but pulled out a remote

    That was hooked to an iWalk displaying a note.

    The camera zoomed in ?til the screen could be read :

    ?Macintosh Rules!? was all that it said.

    He showed once again each new Mac and device,

    From the Gigawire hubs right down to the mice.

    And I heard him exclaim as he faded from sight,

    ?Happy MacWorld to All, All The Rumors Were Right!?

  • Reply 9 of 13
    Mods closed my original thread, but now we are finally on the eve of Macworld. I'll write one aand post it later.
  • Reply 10 of 13
    'Twas the night before Macworld

    Steve silently groaned

    "If they don't get dual G5s, AIers will moan!"

    "Damn Motorola, damn them to hell!"

    "And damn them for casting that 500 MHz spell!"

    But alas there was big blue

    with G5s galore

    but that wasnt all

    Jobs had much more in store

    The forums at AI

    were buzing with glee

    and those new iMacs

    Indeed, LCD

    One more sleepless night

    read the quote from its website

    would Apple deliver?

    and would the rumors be hindsight?

    Jobs would be ready

    with just "one more thing"

    and all the fine Macheads

    would be able to sing

    And so concludes

    this Macworld to date

    Lets hope that our beloved Apple

    can screw Bill Gates!

    [ 01-06-2002: Message edited by: TigerWoods99 ]</p>
  • Reply 11 of 13
    Nice. <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
  • Reply 12 of 13
    icomicom Posts: 41member
    yep the night before but on eproblem for me .

    last year in NY i had the info on where you could find the satellite feed so i could watch it here in europe .

    This year, the only info i find is for the US .

    Anyone knows if it's available in europe to, i think it was on eutelsat last year .

    please help...
  • Reply 13 of 13
    And now, for the ghetto version......

    'Twas the night before Macworld

    and up in Steve's crib

    a baller keynote

    Ya dig?

    "Nelly flosses platinum, shit I floss Titanium

    Let's put the G5 up against their Itanium

    64-bit you betta take that shit back

    cause Intel you know the performance is whack

    Then we'll test it with Northwood

    and pimp that out too

    I'll invite my boy Rubenstein, hell, all of the crew!

    "Yo Stevey believe me this Mac's off the heezy!" was the call from downstairs of Ave Teveezy

    Jobs, head back, was bangin iTunes

    while some fool downstairs

    was testing out Doom

    "It's time to show M$, that Apple's str8 blazin'

    with Jaguar on G2000, they know we can phase em

    Keynote all set

    iWalk in his hands

    it was time for just one little last minute plan

    But this bitches, this is classified

    See you on the 7th

    tell Dell not to hide

    And so goes this story of Jobs at his crib

    Peace out motha****as

    and oh yea,

    Let Apple Live

    [ 01-06-2002: Message edited by: TigerWoods99 ]</p>
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