Evidence that Apple is Evil
Reply 21 of 23
July 15, 2003 8:15PM
Okay, read this. Then tell me it's not a farce:
(March 28, 2003) Dr. Troy Franklin, OBJECTIVE occult expert, has brought to our attention a disturbing new danger to weak-spirited Christians and unsaved persons that we feel needs to be reported.
As he tells it, while out at a local supermarket shopping for food for his cat, Dr. Franklin noticed one of those small tents advertising "Free Rock Chip Repair" that have been springing up in our nation's parking lots. Curious, he went to enquire about getting a ding in his windshield sealed, only to learn that the person manning the tent had other intentions, namely to try and recruit Dr. Franklin into a cult!
Fortunately, the good doctor has become quite immune to cultic recruiting ploys from his years studying their tactics, and thus he was able to extricate himself from the situation with his soul unharmed. However, those less skilled in their Faith -- and especially those of false faiths or no faith at all -- would have soon found themselves back at the cult headquarters doing all manner of unspeakable rites and blasphemies... or maybe even brainwashed into manning a tent of their own.
For the safety of your soul, do not be tempted by the lure of impulse rock chip repair from strangers in parking lots. It may say free, but it could cost you your soul! If you need your windshield fixed, go to a qualified Christian repair shop.
Reply 22 of 23
July 15, 2003 8:23PM
Originally posted by rogue master
I would like to believe that it is a parody site. I haven't perused their entire site, but is there anything on their site (or anyone else's) that indicates that it is a parody site?
I present the "Ruby Matrimony Thong":
"This uncomfortable undergarment will be a daily reminder to unmarried women to find a husband and a emergency moral reminder to her would-be-suitor. (For use under traditional underwear only.)"
Reply 23 of 23
July 15, 2003 8:23PM
I've been had. Habu RULES! The scary part is, I've read shit VERY similar to that dinosaur stuff in Christian text books for children. Boocoo scary shit if you ask me.