"Betrothed" reminds me of Toni Morrison's Beloved and that's just depressing. Also it sounds like there is an intimation of dowry and/or arrangement, so I'm not much down with "betrothed".
I will undoubtedly be stuck with "fiancée".
Ah well, enlightening discussion re: language purity anyway.
"Betrothed" reminds me of Toni Morrison's Beloved and that's just depressing. Also it sounds like there is an intimation of dowry and/or arrangement, so I'm not much down with "betrothed".
I will undoubtedly be stuck with "fiancée".
Ah well, enlightening discussion re: language purity anyway.
less stilted than significant other, implies team planning, gender neutral...
My girlfriend (of five years) prefers partner. I don't mind it but I still prefer girlfriend. Although using "partner" can be fun when talking to people that don't know you cos' they'll think your big Mo and they'll suddenly start trying to use politically terms for everything possible. Ha. Person-hole cover.
While dating I always found the word "girlfriend" to describe her inadequate.
Try using language as a less egocentric tool. The word you're looking for isn't something YOU need, it's something the person you're speaking to needs.
So, when talking to your grandfather, she can be your 'intended' if that's the word he understands. If you're talking to some loser on the street, 'girlfriend' is probably the best you can do. When talking to her, maybe 'fiancée' is the correct word to use.
Language is 100% fluid and malleable. It's like Plato's cave. 'Things' in this world have a perfect form somewhere, but never in language. The word you use will never work in all cases at all times. That's because whatever you're trying to describe doesn't exist as a word and words do not equate exactly to the real world.
Groverat, I am in the same boat as yourself. I too have been with the same woman for about 4 years now, and fully suspect marriage is in the cards. However, in the meantime I always want for a better way to describe our relationship (in a word I mean, maybe two).
On the one hand, fiancée makes people wonder "well, if you're engaged where's her ring?" It feels like I'm telling a half-truth even though I intend to marry this wonder-chic. On the other "girlfriend" sounds too sophomoric or otherwise smacks of to "this is the flavor of the Summer; there will be a new wo-man sitting next to me by Thanksgiving". Not to mention, when I see people in their 40's let say, who have been dating a while, and they refer to their partner as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" it just seems so... juvenile. I'm in my 30's but you get the idea.
FUBAR, this business of describing your lady and her place (or lack thereof) in your future. Here's what I've been able to come up with meantime:
Better Half
This works well, and the implication works, but many people take it to mean you're already married. And the lack of rings on your fingers doesn't mean anything since many married folk don't wear them. Damn people...messing up my phrases.
Soul Mate
True, but it sounds hokey. Like you just walked off the set of Oprah and are declaring to the world that you have "found her" and are drifting in ethereal bliss.
Cosmic Twin
This one works well on some occassions but there's a little bit of humor / sarcasm in there and those damn people (!) who think it could just be your "best friend" throw you off.
my chic
Only works with really close friends who already know the extent of your relationship, in which case STFU about yer relationship already and pass the beer and chips!
So my conclusion is, you must mix words AND action Groverat. You must add the all-powerful PDA. So for instance if I do this:
"This is my better half..." and then grab her and play tongue-hockey for 1 or 2 seconds... people will IMMEDIATELY know that we cannot possibly be married, but that it is indeed a most serious relationship.
or
"This is my cosmic twin..." and then do the same spit-swapping routine... people will again know immediately that you must surely be more than best friends.
So in the end, actions speak louder than words. You're just going to have to lay [one] on 'er every time you introduce her. I'm afraid it's the only way.
Comments
Originally posted by midwinter
I can only imagine that the development of the OED scared the Victorians half to death.
Does that mean they're only half dead like Eric the Half bee ?
less stilted than significant other, implies team planning, gender neutral...
I will undoubtedly be stuck with "fiancée".
Ah well, enlightening discussion re: language purity anyway.
Originally posted by groverat
"Betrothed" reminds me of Toni Morrison's Beloved and that's just depressing. Also it sounds like there is an intimation of dowry and/or arrangement, so I'm not much down with "betrothed".
I will undoubtedly be stuck with "fiancée".
Ah well, enlightening discussion re: language purity anyway.
I seriously suggest butt buddy.
Originally posted by BR
I seriously suggest butt buddy.
Only if you catch.
Originally posted by groverat
Only if you catch.
No no no no no no no. Butt buddy the term you use with your fiancee. I am not involved in any buttfoolery.
Originally posted by curiousuburb
how about partner?
less stilted than significant other, implies team planning, gender neutral...
My girlfriend (of five years) prefers partner. I don't mind it but I still prefer girlfriend. Although using "partner" can be fun when talking to people that don't know you cos' they'll think your big Mo and they'll suddenly start trying to use politically terms for everything possible. Ha. Person-hole cover.
How about donut puncher...
or pillow biter...
bike ramp....
grease monkey...
or worst of all..Gym slip...
Originally posted by BR
butt buddy
unnecessary.
Originally posted by groverat
While dating I always found the word "girlfriend" to describe her inadequate.
Try using language as a less egocentric tool. The word you're looking for isn't something YOU need, it's something the person you're speaking to needs.
So, when talking to your grandfather, she can be your 'intended' if that's the word he understands. If you're talking to some loser on the street, 'girlfriend' is probably the best you can do. When talking to her, maybe 'fiancée' is the correct word to use.
Language is 100% fluid and malleable. It's like Plato's cave. 'Things' in this world have a perfect form somewhere, but never in language. The word you use will never work in all cases at all times. That's because whatever you're trying to describe doesn't exist as a word and words do not equate exactly to the real world.
"hi this is the one I copulate"
"this is my receiver"
"this is my spawning ground"
"this is my valley"
"i'm her island..."
Some good ones up thar ^^
Groverat, I am in the same boat as yourself. I too have been with the same woman for about 4 years now, and fully suspect marriage is in the cards. However, in the meantime I always want for a better way to describe our relationship (in a word I mean, maybe two).
On the one hand, fiancée makes people wonder "well, if you're engaged where's her ring?" It feels like I'm telling a half-truth even though I intend to marry this wonder-chic. On the other "girlfriend" sounds too sophomoric or otherwise smacks of to "this is the flavor of the Summer; there will be a new wo-man sitting next to me by Thanksgiving". Not to mention, when I see people in their 40's let say, who have been dating a while, and they refer to their partner as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" it just seems so... juvenile. I'm in my 30's but you get the idea.
FUBAR, this business of describing your lady and her place (or lack thereof) in your future. Here's what I've been able to come up with meantime:
Better Half
This works well, and the implication works, but many people take it to mean you're already married. And the lack of rings on your fingers doesn't mean anything since many married folk don't wear them. Damn people...messing up my phrases.
Soul Mate
True, but it sounds hokey. Like you just walked off the set of Oprah and are declaring to the world that you have "found her" and are drifting in ethereal bliss.
Cosmic Twin
This one works well on some occassions but there's a little bit of humor / sarcasm in there and those damn people (!) who think it could just be your "best friend" throw you off.
my chic
Only works with really close friends who already know the extent of your relationship, in which case STFU about yer relationship already and pass the beer and chips!
So my conclusion is, you must mix words AND action Groverat. You must add the all-powerful PDA. So for instance if I do this:
"This is my better half..." and then grab her and play tongue-hockey for 1 or 2 seconds... people will IMMEDIATELY know that we cannot possibly be married, but that it is indeed a most serious relationship.
or
"This is my cosmic twin..." and then do the same spit-swapping routine... people will again know immediately that you must surely be more than best friends.
So in the end, actions speak louder than words. You're just going to have to lay [one] on 'er every time you introduce her. I'm afraid it's the only way.