Wanna quickie?

crazychestercrazychester
Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
Non-rude words or phrases for sex. Ones that don't require **** or s's where there should be u's when used in polite company. Commonly used ones (or at least ones we can check). NO BLOODY LISTS!



Then (yes there's more), as a lot of the more uh, technical terms often sound like they mean something else, if you can put them in a sentence to give them an alternative meaning, double points!



Me first.



Flagrante delicto



Man to waiter: "I'll have the beef wellington with roasted spring vegetables and bernaise sauce and my wife will have the flagrante delicto on a bed of baby spinach with rosemary and red wine jus."
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 40
    shetlineshetline Posts: 4,695member
    In the commonly-used words category:







    Saw this in the London underground. Only not in America.
  • Reply 2 of 40
    kickahakickaha Posts: 8,760member
    chester, you tease. Here I thought you were offering. Sheesh.



    "Rumpy-pumpy" is still one of my favorites. Say it out loud, and it sounds like nursery rhyme babble. Write it down and the obvious intent is just *obscene*.
  • Reply 3 of 40
    murbotmurbot Posts: 5,262member
    Take her temperature with an all-meat thermometer?
  • Reply 4 of 40
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    I've always been partial to "the dirty deed."®
  • Reply 5 of 40
    billybobskybillybobsky Posts: 1,914member
    clearin' the tubes...
  • Reply 6 of 40
    formerlurkerformerlurker Posts: 2,686member
    oldie but goody...

    "gettin' it on"
  • Reply 7 of 40
    formerlurkerformerlurker Posts: 2,686member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by shetline

    In the commonly-used words category:







    Saw this in the London underground. Only not in America.



    Check out this video (1.5 MB)
  • Reply 8 of 40
    crazychestercrazychester Posts: 1,339member
    Continuing the meat theme, "let's play hide the sausage" has always been a particular favorite of mine.



    As I said, I was thinking more in terms of technical jargon. For instance, "coitus" has always sounded more like something you catch to me than a description of fun in the sack. "Doctor can you give me something for my coitus?" or "That's the worst case of coitus I've ever seen. We're going to have to operate."



    I'm sure somebody could do something novel with "fornication".



    Anyway, this'll do. I've got about 3 hours of stapling and stuffing envelopes to do so I need something to keep me amused. Keep 'em coming. Monkey video now ready for viewing - must go.
  • Reply 9 of 40
    vargasvargas Posts: 426member
    Pork?
  • Reply 10 of 40
    discocowdiscocow Posts: 603member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by crazychester

    <snip>





    His coitus seems to have ruptured due to over copulation, we'll need to preform an emergency fornication STAT....
  • Reply 11 of 40
    cooopcooop Posts: 390member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by NaplesX

    Just saying "I really am in the mood for some hot grape-nuts" can't be good.



    Picked this one up from the Grape Nuts thread.
  • Reply 12 of 40
    vargasvargas Posts: 426member
    A roll in the hay?
  • Reply 13 of 40
    brbr Posts: 8,395member
    Assassinating the Archduke
  • Reply 14 of 40
    wrong robotwrong robot Posts: 3,907member
    Doing the space nasty
  • Reply 15 of 40
    brbr Posts: 8,395member
    Paying the hooker.
  • Reply 16 of 40
    kickahakickaha Posts: 8,760member
    Going to Tukwila.
  • Reply 17 of 40
    billybobskybillybobsky Posts: 1,914member
    horizontal tango...



    cleaning the shower walls...
  • Reply 18 of 40
    brbr Posts: 8,395member
    Making pancakes.
  • Reply 19 of 40
    709709 Posts: 2,016member
    Forming 'The Beast with Two Backs'.
  • Reply 20 of 40
    crazychestercrazychester Posts: 1,339member
    For those who know their Shakespeare.



    Alas poor Yorick. I knew him, Fellatio, a fellow of infinite jest; of most excellent fancy....



    Nice one DiscoCow. Like the stat on the end.



    I can't believe there's a cereal called grape nuts. Let alone that anybody would actually admit to eating it.



    BR I knew you'd resonate with this thread.
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