Open letter to Apple, with all my love...
Awwww, helll!! Gawd-damnit! If Apple doesn't release a G5 Powermac soon I'm gunna kill myself! ARRRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!
I'm at the end of my rope. All these PC wankers at work always riding me, telling me how slow my Mac is and taunting me with spec stats and Quake frame rates. It's all bullshit! Why the hell can't Apple piece together a real desktop computer that SCREAMS!!! It's not fair, damn them! Damn them all to hell! Jobs thinks he's so great with his photoshop filters and his rigged demos---and he doesn't even use a Mac in his office!!! I'll be showing Jobs what it means to rely on a Mac for more than glam-marketing at rigged expos staffed with the converted. Sleep easy, Jobs, because you won't even know when to expect it!
If Apple doesn't put out at MWSF, then I'm going to crack....but I'm not goin' down without takin' a few PC wankers with me. I'm destitute and nothing but a reboot is holding my threads together. It's gonna be payback time for all the wise-ass cracks about how unstable Mac OS 9 is, about how slow and fragile Macs are, the "all-show-and-no-go" comments I hear day in and day out. Yeah, when I show up with my high powered iRifle, we'll just see what they've got to say about that!!!
It's either G5, or the end of me....but listen up because I won't go down without a stand!
[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: Junkyard Dawg ]</p>
I'm at the end of my rope. All these PC wankers at work always riding me, telling me how slow my Mac is and taunting me with spec stats and Quake frame rates. It's all bullshit! Why the hell can't Apple piece together a real desktop computer that SCREAMS!!! It's not fair, damn them! Damn them all to hell! Jobs thinks he's so great with his photoshop filters and his rigged demos---and he doesn't even use a Mac in his office!!! I'll be showing Jobs what it means to rely on a Mac for more than glam-marketing at rigged expos staffed with the converted. Sleep easy, Jobs, because you won't even know when to expect it!
If Apple doesn't put out at MWSF, then I'm going to crack....but I'm not goin' down without takin' a few PC wankers with me. I'm destitute and nothing but a reboot is holding my threads together. It's gonna be payback time for all the wise-ass cracks about how unstable Mac OS 9 is, about how slow and fragile Macs are, the "all-show-and-no-go" comments I hear day in and day out. Yeah, when I show up with my high powered iRifle, we'll just see what they've got to say about that!!!
It's either G5, or the end of me....but listen up because I won't go down without a stand!
[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: Junkyard Dawg ]</p>
Comments
The above post is fictitious, illusory, and riddled with bad taste in light of 9-11--just my element!
None of you screwheads are going to die if Apple doesn't release a G5. Half of you wouldn't know what to do with all that power anyway. Just hard up for bragging rights.
Two years ago, you all were saying the same kind of stuff about the new "mighty G4"...and two years from now, the G5 will be old hat and you'll be screaming about a G6 or whatever.
And some of you I'm certain of this fact: I could take a 400MHz G3, put it in a bitchin' new G5-esque case and say it has a 266MHz bus, USB 2, faster FireWire, etc. and you'd NEVER know.
Get el grippo.
[quote]None of you screwheads are going to die if Apple doesn't release a G5. <strong>Half of you wouldn't know what to do with all that power anyway.</strong> Just hard up for bragging rights.<hr></blockquote>
That *bang* you heard was the nail getting hit on the head.
Thanks, 'scates.
[quote]Originally posted by pscates:
<strong>Yes, and as soon as you people get a 1.6GHz G5 (as if...), Get el </strong><hr></blockquote>
I REALLY hope your not trying to say it's not going to happen soon
<strong>I REALLY hope your not trying to say it's not going to happen soon
Oh no...I have TOTAL faith that Apple is going to make a 200% leap in processor speed in one fell swoop.
They're just going to go from 800 to 1.6, just like that. The past 2-3 years should serve as no indication or evidence that they might do otherwise.
This weak 50-100MHz bumps since 1999 was just Apple toying with us.
If a 1.6GHz ANYTHING is announced at MWSF, I'll mow your yard with a pair of scissors. Left handed, no less.
but i echo that "bang" that amorph remarked about.
Dead on, Hammer man.
Haven't enough of us been burned with heartbreaking no-shows and letdowns over the past 2-3 years that we finally get a handle on not shooting too high?
Here's my MWSF 2002 predictions:
There's DEFINITELY gonna be some cool stuff, but ther's also gonna be a lot of cool stuff that ISN'T unveiled and some of your are gong to need counselling afterwards, I'm afraid.
Seriously guys, think back: has ANY Macworld Expo keynote come anywhere close to your predictions/dreams?
No.
So why should THIS one? Not trying to be a party-pooper or excessively negative...I've simply got both feet on the ground and have REASONABLE expectations, based on past behavior and patterns, that's all.
Sure, I hope I'm wrong as hell and that all this stuff DOES come out, but I'm not hanging my computing life on it either.
To be honest, I'm (perhaps foolishly?) expecting a brand-new, totally redesigned iMac.
BUT, I haven't sold my current one yet, either.
PS. Long over due!
What if they have been devoting a majority of their resources to this new chip(G5) and not paying that much attention to further developing the G4?
I know, a lot of "ifs", but what if(sorry)they know the G5 will open doors to other markets(Cisco)besides desktop computers? wouldn't that be like doubling(or tripling or whatever)their "customer base" in one swoop?Wouldn't that make sense from a business standpoint?
That said, I am not holding my breath, but I am saving into a little "G5 account"just in case.
<strong> Half of you wouldn't know what to do with all that power anyway. Just hard up for bragging rights.
</strong><hr></blockquote>
So true. Most people can get by with what is currently available today. Any one who is in the creative writing or design field surely can. Those in production based work obviously can use the greater horsepower.
All I really look forward to is product announcements that assist in making my project smoother, easier and better not necessarily faster.
That plus Apple's really cool looking product designs to go on top of my desk
Just more prove that you're only here for your own self gratifacation.
Of course just like the demon in " The Exorcist " he mixes lies with the truth to be more convincing. Most of todays hardware is more than a match for the average software. But, it would be nice to have more amunition to counter the PC advocates who say " Macs are slow ".
Junky get a new tune.
[ 11-29-2001: Message edited by: jimmac ]</p>
But he has a new tune <a href="http://gbg.bonet.se/ivil/you.html" target="_blank">here</a>
Seriously though, JYD, I got it.
Junky's right about one thing that's pretty clever!
" Damn them, damn them all to hell! " Now do this in front of the Statue of Liberty ( or on your deathbed in front of a chimp if you want to do a repeat performance 33 years later .
[ 11-29-2001: Message edited by: jimmac ]</p>