online "dating"
is this dating thing a hoax? I am a paying member of 2 of the largest sites for over a week, contacted every person that was even remotely compatible and even a couple that were opposite but interesting and I have heard NOTHING...what gives? are all of the ladies' profiles on these sites hoaxes or something? is this common? does this online dating stuff really even work?
I live in a new city now and well, the bars suck...I would say all bars outside of the immediate area of a top 25 university suck...and what about the folks who dont like bars in general, but also don't go to church?
Where does one find someone to date?
I live in a new city now and well, the bars suck...I would say all bars outside of the immediate area of a top 25 university suck...and what about the folks who dont like bars in general, but also don't go to church?
Where does one find someone to date?
Comments
To answer your question, I've never used a singles site or known anyone who admits to having success with one. I doubt they're hoaxes, but at the end of the day you have to point to the fact that something like 40% of men get some, and 80% of women get some.
The other 60% are on AppleInsider.
There are birds everywhere. Usually you have to make the move, though. When I hear about people who have problems meeting the opposite sex I feel like they either (a) don't actually care (b) are somehow repulsive or (c) are not trying hard enough. A and B don't usually complain so much about it, so I assume you're C. So, um, take command? There's always the mail-order bride.
The other 60% are on AppleInsider.
...
IUsually you have to make the move, though.
Nope, human courtship is a 10 step process, and it is entirely controlled by women. Women pick out their mate, all you have to do as a man is notice when you are being courted and dilate your eyes at the right time. Dilating your eyes indicates that you are attracted to her, besides that it is out of your hands.
Some biologists figured it all out - and I think that there is a discovery channel special that shows the entire 10 step process at work. It goes something like this:
1. The woman catches the man's eye from across the room
2. The woman walks past the man, and figures out based partially on smell weather she is interested or not.
I think that this step was called "The strut".
3. She fiddles with her hair
4. Maybe there was a nervous laugh, or tilting of her head or something
I forget the other steps, but evidently all 10 things almost always happen in order, and even incredibly hot women who deliberately fail to do any of the steps are never approached by men.
I thought it was very cool when I found it out, I just wish that I could dilate by eyes on command - because that would
get my wife off my back.
Nope, human courtship is a 10 step process . .
I don't doubt this, but I suppose I've never taken notice. I shall also mention that this article's conclusion indirectly supports the shotgun approach for men that don't tend to take notice. I have a hard enough time watching for rings. I've heard this one before (always funny): What! How do you know she's married? Are you psychic?
...
Well I'm laughing at myself, too. A fantastic defense mechanism.
Somehow I found okcupid.com. I'd like to get some other opinions on this site, but I think it is great, and not just for dating. First off, it is totally free. It's my impression it was started by a group of University Psychologists who want to do research. No kidding, that's the best answer I have come up with. The battery of tests is awesome, and they do not cater to just singles, like the others. You chose what you are interested in and it includes looking for: pen pals, activities, dates, casual sex (no one here would be interested in that of course) and more. You state whether you are single, married or seeing someone, which must mean a relationship.
I'm doing it to determine my psychological profile. I'm trying to interest my wife into taking the tests too, and then we can see if we are a good match.
Oh and don't worry about not being a church-goer. Most of the women you'd meet there are uptight bitches. You'll meet a better woman doing volunteer work for a worthy cause.
Just my experience, but when I was single I found that church singles groups were a great way to meet women. I might have met one or two that were up tight, but that was the rare exception. It might depend on the church too. I visited about five different groups, and picked the two best to go to on a regular basis.
These were well organized and had frequent activities, including a trip to a resort community, renting one house for the guys and another for the women. We often played volley ball or badminton, and there were social times. Some of these big churches go all out. I'd say it is worth a try, with nothing to lose, except possibly your bachelorhood.
is this dating thing a hoax? I am a paying member of 2 of the largest sites for over a week, contacted every person that was even remotely compatible and even a couple that were opposite but interesting and I have heard NOTHING...what gives? are all of the ladies' profiles on these sites hoaxes or something? is this common? does this online dating stuff really even work?
I live in a new city now and well, the bars suck...I would say all bars outside of the immediate area of a top 25 university suck...and what about the folks who dont like bars in general, but also don't go to church?
Where does one find someone to date?
Never used one but watched a couple female roomates do so. So they aren't all frauds but the rejection rate is rather high...at least for them. (Sample set of 2 is hardly useful but whatever). Lemme think...I think they used PennySaver or something similar and something else inexpensive. Not one of the big names like eHarmony.
I would guess it takes longer than a week for any results. If you don't have a good profile and pic you're not likely to get a callback or whatever its called.
The local jaycees (junior chamber of commerce) were a meat market. Split between the real volunteer folks in the front of the meeting and the party folks in the back with the keg.
Personally, I've always found just finding groups that do what you enjoy helps you meet people and women. Assuming that what you enjoy aren't solitary or male dominated activities anyway.
I saw the premier of pickup artist on VH1 on a flight...it was hilarious but never bothered to tune in.
I don't think they're all fake, but many of them simply don't respond to say "sorry not interested." I had a similar experience. It can swing the other way to. Back in June, I sent three people messages and wound up meeting each of them the same week. They all sucked but that's another story. Of the five people I met, I was only interested in one, who I got a second date with, but she wasn't interested in me in the end.
As a general warning, beware of women whose photos are only headshots and that describe their body type as "about average"
This is apparently code for, "I'm about average in the sense that the average american could probably stand to loose 30 or 40 pounds."
It's not impossible to find "quality" folk on a dating site. Sure they can find some company easily by other ways, but they're going to be swamped by people they aren't interested in, long or even short term. On the net it's comparatively easy to look for people with common interests and some aspects of character. The person displaying huge social intelligence and confidence in the bar scene (the classic "player" characteristics) doesn't necessarily have great intelligence or self-esteem outside it, and vice versa.
I've been intending to try again. With my job and hobbies, I really never bump into women by accident. I have to go out and look for them specifically.
It's all about attitude, confidence, gentlemanly behavior, good sense of humor and sincerity. Once you're doing fine with those, you'll start seeing some success.
I like where your heart's at...
But let's be honest, you only need the first two characteristics to see success.
is this dating thing a hoax? I am a paying member of 2 of the largest sites for over a week, contacted every person that was even remotely compatible and even a couple that were opposite but interesting and I have heard NOTHING...what gives? are all of the ladies' profiles on these sites hoaxes or something? is this common? does this online dating stuff really even work?...Where does one find someone to date?
It works, but don't be surprised if women on these sites don't respond. Most women get bombarded with literally thousands amd thousands of replies and matches and just don't have the time or want to respond to each one personally. I knew two girls, one that was not the hottest ember in the firepit and posted unflattering pics, who tried these sites and were amazed at the response they got just because their naughty bits weren't the same as men's.
If you are sincere, you will eventually catch the eye of a woman who rifles through all the bull. Just don't dream too much that a profile is perfect and disappointed when the person behind it ignores your pitch.
www.stylelife.com (go to the forums)
Get Neill Strauss' book "The Game"
(it's an AWESOME and hilarious autobiography by one of the worlds top Pickup Artists)
Get "The Mystery Method" by Mystery
Learn up on some NLP:
Search for "Derren Brown" on youtube and wikipedia NLP
Get girls anywhere with super Pickup artist techniques and control their minds with NLP!
have fun
Where does one find someone to date?
I never had any luck with online dating services / matchmaker services. Then I prayed about it. Not too long later I spoke some self-fulfilling prophecy when I told a friend of mine one night out at the bar (yes I used to go to the bars) that I was going to meet my future wife at Fellowship Church. I was led to join a small group and I met very good friends and got to fellowship and study the word of God. We had social get togethers and out of the blue I meet Heather. We dated for a while and one day I let her know my thoughts about her more strongly when I left her a little package at her apartment which included a very personal homemade card and a CD of music. I was not sure at the time if I did the right thing thinking.... "oh my did I over do it?" You see there were other guys that would give Heather attention in our Church circle of friends. She did not date them but she had socialized with them a bit in the past. Later on she told me that when considering who to date she had prayed a prayer asking for the "right one" to do something bold. She tells me that my care package left at her apartment was her signal.
We are now married and have our wonderful son Oliver
I really believe in "resting in the Lord" and trusting in the Lord.
Allow yourself to be just who you are and have complete trust that you will be matched with that perfect one.
Ohh as a side note... one I will never forget... The first time I walked into Heather's apartment it was decorated with black and white prints of Paris France. She had the French touch all throughout her apartment. Not too long before meeting Heather I had come back from my first trip to Paris France and my first thought when I saw this influence in her Apartment I felt a strong feeling that God was leaving fingerprints and signs over his "bringing us together". The funny thing is now as I look back it had everything to do with God.... God can direct your steps if you yield to Him. Prayer is powerful....
I constantly thank God for Heather and our son Oliver. I consider myself extremely Blessed...
I wish you only God's Best for your journey.
God Bless!
You can watch Pick Up Artist on VH1 for tips...
Oh god,
Yeah, ok, keep trying. =P